Remembering Ilay, huh. How could he say such a thing? Jeong Taeui frowned slightly.

If he came home later than him – or worse, if he arrived home only to find him standing at the door to greet him – the feeling of longing would disappear immediately.

“Where the hell did that brat leave that damned book……? As Kyle said, stealing it and running away would have been the best option.”

Jeong Taeui sighed deeply, torn between emotions, then sat up wearily.

What’s Berlin’s area code again? Jeong Taeui vaguely recalled and dialed a number on the phone. Luckily, the number seemed correct. Kyle’s familiar voice came through the receiver.

[“Taei?”]

“Yes, how did you know—oh, it’s because of the phone number.”

Jeong Taeui pulled the phone cord with one hand and lay back on the bed, using the other hand to lazily remove his shoes.

[“Did you meet Christine smoothly?”]

“Yes. Luckily, there were no major issues—wait a minute, that name……”

Jeong Taeui suddenly remembered a very serious issue that needed reconsideration and rubbed his forehead.

“If you want to call him that name, be prepared to get whipped. Why didn’t you tell me about this beforehand!”

[“……Ah.”]

Kyle paused for a moment as if he had just remembered, making Jeong Taeui feel drained of energy once more.

“Kyle…… I thought you were on my side……”

Jeong Taeui said sorrowfully. Kyle hurriedly explained over the phone.

[“No! No, no! I’ve known that kid since he was young, so it’s just a habit! When he was little, he really looked as beautiful as a girl. So, at that time, I mistook the name Chris for being short for Christina. You can’t blame only me for this. I always remembered the name like that, and later I found out his name was Christoph! It wasn’t just my fault! Yes, after the first meeting, even Changin said Christina suited him more than Christoph!”]

“But I can’t use that as an excuse in front of Christoph. Do you want me to say: ‘Because you’re so beautiful, I called you Christina, I’m sorry’?……”

[“…… Please find my book safely……”]

“What do you think?”

Jeong Taeui glared at the phone. But being angry was too exhausting, so he decided to let it go and sighed.

“So…… Did you get any calls from Ilay?”

Jeong Taeui had just left Berlin this morning. He didn’t think someone who rarely contacted him would call on the very day he left, but he asked just in case.

[“Oh, right. Yes, he did call.”]

“………”

If possible, he hoped that Ilay wouldn’t know he had left without informing him until he found the book and returned home. Especially right after he boldly yelled in his face that he would leave; the consequences were something he didn’t want to think about.

“What did he say…… Did you explain it well?”

Jeong Taeui clutched his thumping chest and asked urgently. Even though Kyle might have explained it well, he couldn’t stop worrying about the future, but he still wanted to survive without any harm if possible.

[“Ah…… well……”]

His heart skipped a beat at Kyle’s hesitant voice.

“Did he hang up immediately after hearing I had gone out?!”

If Ilay misunderstood and Jeong Taeui couldn’t resolve the misunderstanding, he should seriously worry about his fate. Just like before, he wouldn’t have a way to protect himself if he couldn’t explain.

[“No, no. He called, but I didn’t answer.”]

When Kyle said awkwardly, Jeong Taeui nearly dropped the phone but managed to hold on.

Alright, it’s fine. Not being able to contact him is better. After all, he still didn’t know Jeong Taeui had left the house. Jeong Taeui calmed his pounding heart and asked again.

“So, no contact yet, right?”

[“Yes, that’s right. But…… he left a voicemail for you.”]

When Kyle hesitated, Jeong Taeui had a bad feeling about what came next.

“What did he say……”

[“If you dare go out, you’re dead.”]

“……..”

“……..”

Kyle enthusiastically repeated Ilay’s words and tone. A strange sensation ran from Jeong Taeui’s ear to his nape and down his spine. It felt like Ilay was whispering right next to him.

[“……If he calls again, I’ll explain.”]

“Please take care of me.”

[“Alright, don’t worry too much. He probably never thought you’d run away from him.”]

“Please, I hope so.”

[“Don’t worry, trust me.”]

Sympathizing with Jeong Taeui’s anxious mood and complaints, Kyle assured him with a strangely confident tone. Jeong Taeui could only smile wryly. He trusted Kyle 100% in work. But somehow, he didn’t believe it this time.

Even so, looking back at recent days, Ilay had been living a very normal and quiet life. Perhaps in that time, his personality had improved a lot. Maybe he had become much more humane than before.

Jeong Taeui clung to a small hope and exchanged a few more words with Kyle, then hung up.

“…………..”

He stared at the receiver for a long time, then rolled over on the bed and covered his face with a pillow. Ah—whatever, I don’t know anymore. Jeong Taeui mumbled as he buried his head in the pillow.

He stayed like that until he felt suffocated, then suddenly sat up and took a deep breath.

“No, think positively. He still doesn’t know I’ve left the house. Yes, he said he’d be back in a month, so I just need to find the book and return before then…… Yes. I’m sorry, Kyle. Anyway, I have to return before the month ends.”

Jeong Taeui rubbed his chest and ruffled his hair.

With this nerve, how did he find the courage to boldly tell him he would leave in the first place? If he hadn’t said it so boldly, he would feel much more at ease now.

But as usual, once it’s done, regretting early is too late.

*****************

Sometimes, even in dreams, he could realize he was dreaming.

In those times, Jeong Taeui could often open his eyes without any difficulty if he wanted to wake up from that dream. If he was having a nightmare and realized it was just a dream, it felt really reassuring.

However, if it wasn’t a nightmare, he wouldn’t bother waking up even if he realized it was just a dream. Thinking it was a dream while acting according to the dream was also interesting. It felt strange but not bad at all.

Now it was just like that.

For no particular reason, he suddenly thought, ‘Ah, I’m dreaming now.’

Yet before him was a deep blue sky, the scent of fresh morning grass, a cool breeze through the tree branches, and a completely unburdened mind.

Jeong Taeui stretched languidly and thought about why he should wake up from such a vivid and peaceful dream. Yes, this tranquil dream—why bother waking up?

In the past, there were times like this too. On a beautiful day, he would lie under the tree in the backyard, lazily rolling around and enjoying that leisurely time.

This dream was perfectly reflecting those past memories.

“Ha…… The sky is really so clear it might shatter if you threw a stone at it.”

At that time, Jeong Taeui muttered drowsily, his mood as pleasant as this dream. Yes, that’s right. What did he do next?

/Dreamming/

Jeong Taeui wasn’t someone who constantly reminisced and remembered all the significant or trivial events that had happened before. He placed mundane and trivial things in a corner of his memory and continued living, forgetting them.

So it felt strange now to suddenly see a trivial thing he had forgotten in this way.

Jeong Taeui in the dream squinted, dreamily gazing at the clear blue sky, then sighed in contentment. After that, he suddenly sat up from the soft grass.

Lying around like this was tiring and made him thirsty.

The minibar in the room had run out of beer. Taeui thought about grabbing a cold beer from the kitchen fridge and went up to the room. On a leisurely afternoon with nothing to do like now, it would be perfect to drink beer slowly while flipping through an art book by his favorite artist, feeling the gentle breeze by the window.

Jeong Taeui opened the fridge in the kitchen, thought for a moment, then took out two cans of beer and headed towards the room that had been silent since last night.

It seemed Ilay had stayed up all night handling the piled-up work. Even when Jeong Taeui woke up in the morning and lazily left the room, he was still sitting at the desk. Only after Jeong Taeui washed up and woke up a bit did he finish his work and go to sleep. Ilay was still sleeping when he went to the backyard to enjoy the sunny afternoon.

There was no movement, so it seemed he was still asleep. But if he was awake, Jeong Taeui would give him a beer. If not, he would drink both cans himself.

Jeong Taeui quietly, like a cat, moved towards the room, trying not to make any noise. If Ilay was still sleeping, he didn’t want to wake him.

Ilay’s room was at the end of the hallway on the right, and right next to it was his own room. But opening the door would bring them face-to-face, so the division wasn’t significant. But currently, it was as it was. Jeong Taeui walked to the end of the hallway and looked to the right. The door, which had been closed, was now open. ‘He’ guessed Ilay was awake.

Jeong Taeui didn’t know if a cold beer was suitable for waking someone up, but his feet turned towards the door anyway. Then he noticed.

The door to the study opposite his bedroom was also slightly ajar.

It seemed Ilay had gone to the study right after waking up.

Taeui thought he had finished his work after staying up all night and falling asleep, but there was still more work.

Jeong Taeui scratched his head and quietly approached. If someone was working and you brought beer right in front of them, it would be a bit…… but maybe it’s okay. Not drinking beer to wake up but drinking it to relax while working is good, too?

Jeong Taeui approached the slightly open door to the study, stopped, and said: “I’m coming in.”

There were small voices in the room. Perhaps Ilay was talking to someone on the phone. Jeong Taeui pushed the door open. The door, which was open a hand’s width, was now pushed open three hand’s widths. Ilay was sitting at the desk and talking on the phone, turning as if sensing his presence.

He motioned for Jeong Taeui to come in and continued his call. Jeong Taeui entered the room and sat on the floor right next to his desk. He placed the beer cans beside him and leaned against the bookshelf, grabbing a book within reach. It was a photo book.

Jeong Taeui slowly turned the pages of the black-and-white and color photos with one hand, while holding the beer can in the other, enjoying the sweet sound of the fizz. 

While Jeong Taeui was drinking beer and flipping through the photo book, Ilay continued his phone call.

“……Well, not bad. The conditions are quite good…… Oh, really? Compared to the work, the pay isn’t bad. So, what’s the time frame?”

Jeong Taeui could feel his gaze on the top of his head but didn’t care.

Listening to the conversation, he guessed the person on the other end was commissioning Ilay for some work. Ilay occasionally took on such tasks from somewhere. Sometimes he knew what the work was, but other times he didn’t. If it was work that could be handled at home, he could see it when passing by his room, so he could roughly know what Ilay was doing. But if it was work requiring going out, he couldn’t know. Jeong Taeui didn’t necessarily have to ask what he was doing. He felt that the more he knew, the darker the world seemed.

But it seemed the current commission Ilay was discussing required going out.

How long would he be away this time?

Previous jobs usually lasted a few days or, at most, a few weeks. But he rarely stayed out for several weeks. Ilay typically returned within a week.

A wanted terrorist roaming the streets without a care…… what are the police even doing……

Setting aside his own situation, Jeong Taeui was thinking about that when he suddenly heard his voice.

“I won’t take it.”

The brief reply caught Jeong Taeuis’ attention. He looked up from the photo book.

Perhaps he had just gotten out of bed; a few strands of hair were still hanging over his forehead. His frowning face in that state looked funny, like he was grumbling because he was still sleepy.

But hadn’t he just seemed quite pleased with the job’s conditions? What did the other side say that made him suddenly refuse?

Jeong Taeui took a sip of beer and looked at Ilay.

“Yes, it’s a pity. Without that requirement, the pay is good.”

Ilay said, his face showing no regret at all.

The person on the other end seemed to be persuading him. Jeong Taeui could faintly hear the person saying that such good conditions were rare.

However, without even considering listening to those words, Ilay clicked his tongue and interrupted.

“Too long. I have no intention of staying out for a whole month. The conditions are good, but not good enough for me to be out that long.”

Ah. That’s right. Actually, Ilay had just returned home a few days ago after being away for about three to four weeks. He probably wanted to rest.

Jeong Taeui lowered his head and gnawed on the edge of the beer can alone.

Just then.

[“WHAT HONEY POT DID YOU BURY AT HOME! WHY REJECT SUCH A GOOD JOB!”]

The person on the phone shouted so loudly it seemed like he was about to cry. The angry voice was clear enough for Jeong Taeui to hear where he was sitting. From the way he spoke, it seemed he was a dubious old colleague who occasionally called Ilay. Jeong Taeui had never met him but guessed he was one of those lunatics from the same den……

Hearing that piercing voice, Jeong Taeui instinctively looked up and met Ilay’s eyes. Ilay was also glancing at him.

However, he soon turned his head and replied coldly.

“Don’t make me repeat myself. Not doing it.”

And he hung up.

“………”

Jeong Taeui bit the beer can and sat on the floor, staring at him in a daze. Ilay clicked his tongue and picked up the beer can next to him, as if he had known it was his share from the start.

“The conditions were good, so why didn’t you take it?”

“Didn’t want to.”

“Well…… It’s true you’ve just come back recently, so taking a break is good. You’ve been working hard lately, going out often.”

Jeong Taeui nodded to himself, mumbling, then looked back at the book.

Henri Cartier Bresson, 1952. He liked this photo.

While Jeong Taeui was caressing the black-and-white photo and staring at it, he heard his voice closer to his ear.

“But the pay wasn’t much. Maybe because of the economic downturn, the pay was very low.”

He was sitting in the chair, leaning over to look at the photo Jeong Taeui was viewing.

“……….”

“……….”

Jeong Taeui wondered if he should tell this sly guy that he had been awakened by thirst in the middle of the night, but his water bottle was empty, so he went out to get water. On his way back, passing by Ilay’s lightly open study door, he had overheard the multimillion-euro payment he had mentioned? 

However, after looking at the photo, Jeong Taeui casually glanced at Ilay’s shameless mouth and decided to keep quiet.

“Alright, I’ll work hard and take care of you.”

Jeong Taeui sighed in response, thinking that he must receive payment for helping Kyle’s work. Then Jeong Taeui fixed his eyes on the photos in the book again.

A faint, gentle breeze seemed to pass over his head. It seemed Ilay was smiling.

Keep smiling, you wicked extortionist.

“Alright. I’ll work hard whenever I can to cover the family expenses.”

“To do that, take that job. They said the pay was very good.”

“……I just came back. Don’t you think a month is too long?”

He asked seriously.

“Yes, yes.”

Jeong Taeui replied indifferently and turned another page.

Then he suddenly reached out as if he had seen something. Jeong Taeui flinched, tilting his head away from the touch that brushed his ear and the hands that stroked his hair.

“Did you lie in the yard? Where’s the grass from?…… Your back has grass on it; you should change clothes.”

“Really? I just showered and changed clothes after lunch.”

Jeong Taeui clicked his tongue. Then he pulled his shirt and tilted his head to look at his back. As he said, there were green marks on the back of his shirt.

“Well, I’m sweating anyway. I’ll take a shower and change clothes.”

“Alright, let’s go together.”

Jeong Taeui was preparing to take off his shirt stained with grass when he paused at the extremely natural reply and hesitated for a moment before asking.

“……Go where?”

“To the bathroom. I just woke up, so I plan to shower too.”

“……Wash your face first. Besides, your room has its own bathroom.”

“Since I’ve been busy with work, we haven’t had time to talk. Now that we’re free, let’s talk about recent events while showering.”

After speaking, Ilay got up without waiting for Jeong Taeui reply. He casually slid his hand under his armpit and gently lifted Jeong Taeui with ease. Jeong Taeui looked at him in surprise.

At that moment, Jeong Taeui (in reality) suddenly realized.

The dream was replaying exactly the memories of the past he had experienced, slowly turning into a nightmare.

He had to wake up quickly from this dream before seeing that rough monster. Fortunately, he was aware it was just a dream. Otherwise, the dream would become a mess until he woke up. Jeong Taeui tried to open his eyes.

This is just a dream. I have to wake up. Jeong Taeui wake up! Quickly.

Jeong Taeui felt as if he had shouted and squirmed while sleeping in reality. Luckily, he managed to open his eyes just as Ilay’s large figure lifted him from the study.

/End Dreamming/

“……..”

Jeong Taeui blinked. He found himself lying alone in a dark room. Above him was a high ceiling.

He slowly relaxed his clenched fists and exhaled.

He didn’t expect past memories to attack him in this way.

Jeong Taeui got up and massaged his stiff neck. In the dark, he groped for the water bottle. The ice had melted, but the water was still cool. Only when the cold water flowed down his throat did he feel fully awake from the dream.

Yes, he remembered.

Back then, Ilay had refused the job requiring him to be away for a month because he thought it was too long. For several months after that, he only worked at home. He only went out for about a week, then told him not to leave the neighborhood.

“If you dare go out, you’re dead.”

Ilay’s voicemail suddenly echoed in his ear.

Oh…….

Jeong Taeui groaned and placed the water bottle and cup on the bedside table.

“Who’s really been away for two months……”

Jeong Taeui shirked responsibility and worry, then lay back down on the bed and slept. But within a second, he banged his head against the wall and groaned pitifully.