Jeong Taeui could only click his tongue and swallow those words because of his faint heart, and then he glared at Ilay.

“Alright, say what you want to say. Why did you call me out of the blue?”

After calming down a bit, Jeong Taeui bluntly asked. But Ilay just stared at him silently, then mumbled to himself vaguely.

[“Do you really not believe that I called just to know how you are?”]

“Please, stop talking nonsense. What is it? Do you want to know about someone or something about UNHRDO?”

As Jeong Taeui asked, he thought about the people worth calling to gather news like this. Ilay tapped on the table next to the bed for a moment, then shrugged as if to say he could think whatever in resignation.

[“It’s been a while since Instructor Jeong Changin was there, huh? Too bad, I haven’t seen him for a long time, it would be great to meet him there.”]

“Your face doesn’t look regretful at all when you say that. If you’re so regretful, why don’t you come and meet him in a month? I’m sure he will be back soon.”

[“Huh……?”]

“The International Aviation Technology Forum will be held in Frankfurt next month. He said he would come back after that. Oh, right. Jaeui will also be there, so it might be a rare family reunion for me.”

As Jeong Taeui spoke, he wondered if he had managed to put on clothes yet? Anyway, he wanted to at least put on some underwear first. Well, if that guy is satisfied, then I guess I can get fully dressed now. Jeong Taeui thought and sneakily pulled his clothes together intending to put them on. But suddenly he realized. Ilay had been just silently staring at him all this time.

“…., …..What’s up?”

[“They said they will come and then leave right away……? So, will you also go to Frankfurt?”]

His voice quivered slightly at the end with a click of his tongue. Jeong Taeui stopped dressing and silently stared at him for a few seconds.

“……Yes. He also said he wouldn’t have enough time to stop by Berlin. Jaeui said the same.”

[“That’s unfortunate.”]

“What is?”

[“Let’s meet them next time.”]

Jeong Taeui fell silent again. This time, the silence lasted even longer.

Jeong Taeui threw down the clothes he was holding and sat staring straight at the screen.

“So you’re telling me not to go?”

[“Umm.”]

“Even if I’m just going to meet my family?”

[“Let’s meet them next time.”]

“…….”

“…….”

Jeong Taeui looked at Ilay, puzzled for a moment. His eyes briefly showed disapproval, then quickly turned threatening.

“I don’t like that.”

[“Don’t go out, just stay there.”]

“Hey, you’re still outside and you want me to stay home alone………!”

[“Don’t go out.”]

“I DON’T LIKE IT!!!”

Actually, he didn’t dislike it to that extent, nor was he determined enough to desperately want to meet his uncle and brother this time. But hearing those cold, commanding tones made him want to act contrary to those words even more.

When Jeong Taeui loudly interrupted him, Ilay’s eyes immediately darkened.

[“Jeong Taeui. Don’t go.”]

He spoke gravely, articulating each word clearly, those words stabbing into his ears like a knife.

Hearing that voice, the fragile and vulnerable heart of Jeong Taeui stirred again. At the same time, realizing his own timidity, he could only sigh internally. This life was his, yet he could not go where he wanted or meet whom he wanted.

“Why can’t I go?”

Jeong Taeui asked dejectedly. There was no answer. So he could only repeat the question once more.

“Why can’t I go?”

[Because I don’t like it.]

‘AAAISHHH…… this guy really…!’

Jeong Taeui’s eyes momentarily flared with anger.

[“Jeong Taeui, when people are still saying nice things, it’s best to listen to them.”]

His voice now was even deeper, seemingly devoid of any comfort, the usual laughter gone, sounding like he was issuing a command rather than having a normal conversation. Jeong Taeui tilted his head and looked at the screen. Ilay, facing him, looked straight at him, his face utterly serious.

At that moment, something inside him coiled. Suddenly, he wanted to do something impulsive without caring about the consequences. He was even surprised by his own bravery.

Jeong Taeui leaned forward, his face close to the screen, and looked straight into Ilay’s eyes, then smiled. Finally, he slowly said.

“In a month, I’ll go before you come back.”

[“Jeong Tae——”]

Just before that voice, now three times more threatening, could finish calling his name, Jeong Taeui immediately hung up the phone in fear.

As the voice was cut off along with the screen going dark in front of him. Jeong Taeui grabbed it and stared at the screen. As if afraid that it would light up again and reflect that terrifying face, Jeong Taeui hastily unplugged the phone cord. Then he sat there, staring angrily at the phone for a few more seconds.

“…..I…….”

Jeong Taeui took a deep breath, hesitantly set the phone down, and then groaned to himself.

“…..where did I get the courage to do this…….”

He mumbled absent-mindedly, then looked down at the phone as if soulless and hugged his head, moaning in self-reproach.

“I’m crazy, how am I going to face this now……”

Jeong Taeui’s mind was only snapped back to reality when he heard someone walking in the hallway far outside. Only then did he hurriedly check his current state – still sitting naked alone in a dark, ownerless room. Jeong Taeui quickly dressed, still continuously moaning – “I’m crazy, really crazy…” – and stepped outside.

********************

The worries that he could not come up with solutions for would soon turn into regrets and self-blame.

Why did he say that? What was he planning to do by saying that? Jeong Taeui continuously hit his chest, his poor heart weeping.

Upon reflection, it felt even more pathetic and sorrowful to be so hesitantly regretful when his mistake wasn’t that big.

Jeong Taeui stayed up all night.

His eyes wide open, he staggered outside. Now, he continually felt sad for his life and full of regret, only able to look up at the sky, not knowing what to do.

How unpredictable the weather is.

For about two months now, there hasn’t been a single rainstorm, and the sky was clear as polished glass, seemingly on the verge of shattering. Jeong Taeui even wondered if summer had truly begun.

Until the morning Jeong Taeui stepped out of the house, there were a few dark clouds in the sky, but they were just a few clouds, and the sky was still very blue.

But now.

Outside, it was raining heavily with thunder and lightning. The whole world was enveloped by a stormy downpour.

“It’s pouring rain…”

Jeong Taeui looked outside and clicked his tongue.

It wasn’t far from his home from here. Just about a 5-minute walk. But just 5 minutes under this torrential downpour would be enough to drench him completely.

Actually, getting a bit wet wouldn’t be a problem, but since he had no urgent matters that required him to rush home in such heavy rain, Jeong Taeui decided to wait for the rain to lessen or stop for over an hour.

Might as well just go. Consider it a rainwater shower.

As Jeong Taeui was about to step out the door, a bolt of lightning flashed, as if wanting to incinerate the dark world in an instant. That light made him instinctively shut his eyes tightly. Moments later, the thunder sounded majestic as if the sky was about to collapse.

“……, …..Since I’m here already, waiting a bit longer won’t hurt……”

Jeong Taeui sneakily removed his hand from the door handle and stepped back inside.

The church was quiet with not a soul in sight.

The walls were adorned with exquisitely sculpted statues, neither too large nor too small. Behind was a stained glass window.

Although this was a sacred and revered space, the atmosphere felt strange, perhaps due to the darkness settling in and the absence of anyone else here. Amid the thunder and lightning seeming to tear the sky apart outside, the feeling became even more bizarre.

Jeong Taeui calmly sat down on a bench near the door and gazed at the crucifix at the front of the church.

He didn’t follow any religion, nor did he care much about such matters, and neither did his family. When he was a cadet at the military academy, his superior Instructor was a devout Christian. So, every Sunday, he would often be dragged to confess for various misdeeds he had committed. But in any case, it didn’t leave any special impression on him.

Until now, he has remained indifferent and neither particularly fond nor averse to any religion.

However, people often cling to somewhere as a spiritual refuge when they are afraid of something.

…..That’s how he feels now……….

Jeong Taeui scratched his head. His taste turned bitter. It seemed he could still hear Kyle’s gentle voice and his forced laughter echoing in his ears.

“Where are you headed?”

This morning, after a later than usual breakfast, as Kyle hurriedly got into the back seat of the car James had ready for work, he saw Jeong Taeui walking towards the main gate. When he curiously asked him, Jeong Taeui could only respond dejectedly.

“I have to go to church for a while to atone for the karma I caused in my past life…… …..”

Kyle gave him a strange look. It seemed he couldn’t understand Jeong Taeui’s mood at that moment as he blamed himself and even mentioned a past life. Jeong Taeui immediately read that indescribable expression on Kyle’s face. It was a mix of a smile about to burst forth and extreme patience to keep it from erupting.

Earlier, while having breakfast, Kyle had asked if he had a nightmare the previous night because he seemed a bit off. Jeong Taeui, without thinking, blurted out, “Ilay called last night.”

Kyle blinked, his forkful of salad paused in mid-air.

“What did he call for?”

Jeong Taeui responded, his mind seemingly in the clouds.

“He said he wanted to call to check on my health.”

Kyle had a very puzzled look full of question marks. But seeing Jeong Taeui’s expression as if there were dark clouds over his head, fortunately, he didn’t ask anything further.

Later, perhaps Kyle had guessed the reason for Jeong Taeui’s gloominess since morning when he spoke about ‘the karma of his past life.’

Kyle often looked at Jeong Taeui with a sense of regret, wondering how he could have made such a wrong choice. This time, he was very tactful, trying hard to suppress his laughter and then cleared his throat.

“If going to church to repent for the sins of your past life and finding some peace of mind is good, but Taei, if I point out a few pronunciation errors in those words you used, would that be okay……….?”

“If you could do that later, I would be very grateful……”

Jeong Taeui responded with a mournful tone, and Kyle immediately nodded and shut his mouth.

He declined Kyle’s offer to give him a ride to the church, choosing instead to walk there alone in a few minutes with a heavy heart.

And now.

He didn’t know if it was because the church was completely empty, or because the place was too quiet, or because he had been restless and sleepless the night before, or because of regretting a sin that he wasn’t even sure he had committed, but he felt very tired and sleepy. By the time Jeong Taeui regained his alertness, several hours had passed.

Jeong Taeui looked at the clock and was startled to think about heading home when it started to pour heavily.

“……..”

He clicked his tongue and scratched his head. Nothing went smoothly today. The weather was bad, and so was his mood.

Sitting inside the church, looking up at the statues above, Jeong Taeui sighed again.

Thinking back, he realized he had dozed off earlier and hadn’t actually managed to repent for the sins of his past life. Maybe now was the time to try something he had only heard about before? It seems that even non-Catholics who have never been to church do that.

Jeong Taeui then thought about the sins of his past life.

“In my past life, I must have committed a grave sin, because I became a wanted criminal alongside a terrorist. The shameful acts that the terrorist committed, I couldn’t even speak of them. Just last night, let’s see…..”

Realizing he was about to recount such stories, Jeong Taeui vigorously shook his head, dismissing those repentant thoughts.

Jeong Taeui bowed his head, releasing a weary sigh.

In the church, surrounded by no one, only the absolute silence enveloped everything, making the sound of the rain seem even louder.

The moment Jeong Taeui looked up, he noticed that someone had opened the door and was entering. Through the slightly open door, he could see the heavy rain still pouring down. With this situation, it seemed like the rain wouldn’t stop anytime soon. Could it be that a devout follower braved the storm to come to the church?

The person wore a raincoat that covered them from head to toe, they stepped inside then paused upon seeing Jeong Taeui. It was as if they hadn’t expected anyone to be there.

They mouthed something, then continued inside and removed their hood. Raindrops fell along the hem of their coats.

In the next moment, Jeong Taeui was speechless.

In this dimly lit church, the young man, clicking his tongue as he wiped a few raindrops from his platinum blond hair under the soft light of the partially open door, seemed to shimmer ethereally against the somber background behind him.

Beautiful as a painting.

He looked like a sculpted statue. Just standing there was enough to make the place sparkle.

It seemed all the beauty words in the world could be used to describe this young man.

Jeong Taeui was stunned for a moment by this surreal beauty and finally regained his senses when he realized the young man’s gaze was on him. Although he knew it was impolite to stare at someone, he couldn’t help but look a little longer.

“Are you here alone?”

However, seemingly accustomed to that gaze, the young man bluntly asked Jeong Taeui. His voice poured into Jeong Taeui’s ears as smooth as fine pottery, prompting a big question mark to appear on Jeong Taeui’s forehead, and he stuttered a response like a fool, 

“Um, no, ah…, yes, that’s right….”

Calm down. There’s no need to rush just because you’ve seen beauty beyond imagination.

Jeong Taeui patted his chest a few times and then started thumping it until he regained his composure. 

The young man suddenly looked at Jeong Taeui with a skeptical eye when he saw him spontaneously hitting his chest like that. He glanced around, then looked back at Jeong Taeui.

“So then.”

“…….?”

“Are you here by chance or have you been waiting here for me?”

“…I don’t even know who you are……”

Jeong Taeui replied, thinking that the question from the beautiful young man was somewhat unusual.

“Is that so? Well, never mind then.”

The young man replied nonchalantly.