So distant it was terrifying, making his body recoil.

Christoph had never known that feeling.

The act of touching, hugging, and being hugged by someone else was too foreign to him.

Perhaps when he was very young, he had experienced that feeling, but at least from the time he could remember, he hadn’t.

Not with anyone. No one. Only himself.

So that feeling wasn’t for Christoph. Even if it was something everyone else took for granted, it wasn’t his.

That feeling horrified him. All his senses stood on end. Deep in his chest, his heart felt a vague fear.

He felt extremely uncomfortable. It was like having goosebumps all over.

Christoph vomited until there was nothing left in his stomach but continued to dry heave as if trying to expel everything from his body.

**************

The water cut into his flesh like a knife.

Just a few hours ago, it was a scorching day, but the river water was ice-cold, chilling to the bone.

But Christoph didn’t care about that. The other person’s arm wrapped tightly around his waist like a water demon overwhelmed all other sensations. The discomfort mixed with anger.

“…….! …….!!”

Christoph grabbed Richard’s arm. Although he didn’t want to touch it, he had to remove the arm wrapped around his waist.

In the water, all movements were slow. In the engulfing darkness, only touch was reliable. And that sensation became more distinct and uncomfortable.

When Christoph tried to twist his arm to break Richard’s shoulder, Richard tightened his grip around Christoph’s waist. Richard’s hand squeezed the wound on Christoph’s waist, causing it to split open.

Christoph flinched, the strength in his hands temporarily lost. He felt blood flowing from the wound on his waist.

If there was something like a knife now, or even just a small pen, he would stab it through Richard’s hand and waist.

Christoph’s thoughts were quickly read by the hands fumbling all over his body.

Richard squeezed Christoph’s neck. Finally, Christoph expelled the last bit of air from his lungs.

And then Christoph realized something.

The lack of sharpness wasn’t because he was underwater. It was because blood was continuously flowing from the wound on his waist. His fingertips were already cold. The discomfort from the wound on his waist was the only thing that reminded him he was still alive.

In the pitch-black darkness, they began to float.

No matter what, they needed to get out of the water.

Light shone down on the water’s surface like silver reflecting on Christoph’s head. His body turned pale under the dim light from the water, and thin blood trails swayed along their journey to the surface.

When Richard pulled Christoph to the surface, Christoph swayed with the water like a corpse. Before his head emerged from the water, he grabbed Richard’s injured arm. Richard’s hand had been broken, and the joints of his fingers were already damaged from before, so the arm was weak and not functioning normally.

Instead of the arm tightening around Christoph’s waist, he grabbed the twisted, feeble arm pushing water upward. Christoph slowly pulled, feeling every joint twisting even in the water.

Richard frowned and gritted his teeth. He let go of Christoph’s waist and gripped Chris’s neck. The large hand squeezed hard, trying to choke him, causing Christoph to exhale a few bubbles.

Upon reaching the surface, Chris hadn’t even caught his breath before being pulled underwater again. He grabbed Richard’s head and slammed it into the bridge column nearby. Richard’s head hit the column hard, and blood flowed down, spreading on the water’s surface.

Only the sounds of water, heavy breathing, short curses, and the water mixed together.

They continued fighting underwater like beasts.

Although they moved slowly in the water and couldn’t move normally, they still bit and tore each other’s flesh, causing blood to flow into the river, creating turbulent waves.

The underwater battle was much harder than on land, and the result quickly became clear.

From the beginning, this battle was not in Christoph’s favor.

The remaining strength, the wounds on his body, and his aversion to contact. Nothing was on his side.

“Christoph” – He heard as if someone was calling his name, but in a blurry state underwater, he convinced himself it was just the sound of the water.

It felt like the water had replaced the blood in his body. His strength was gone, his body could no longer move.

If so, let him sink.

To a place where no one could touch him, sinking deep to the riverbed, never to return. Buried in the river mud where no one could reach.

“…….No way. Do you think I’ll let you be?”

The words seemed to pierce his ears.

Even though Richard was equally exhausted, he still clung to Christoph’s neck, determined to kill him with his hands rather than let him drown.

“Don’t……. touch……. me…….”

Christoph reflexively shouted as he felt the warm temperature of Richard’s hand on his neck. But the words were swallowed by the water as soon as he opened his mouth.

Richard dragged Christoph towards the shore. He stirred the water with one hand that no longer functioned properly and legs that weren’t much better. He still tried to push the water and pull Christoph along.

It felt incredibly horrible. Even though he was suffocating from the water entering his mouth, even though it felt like his life was slipping away due to blood loss, the most uncomfortable thing for Christoph was the hand on his neck.

And Richard knew that. His strong hand didn’t let go of Christoph, as if determined to drag him to hell.

When they finally reached the shore, Richard was equally exhausted. His body was covered in wounds.

When they finally touched the riverbank, Richard dragged Christoph – who occasionally convulsed violently along the way. Reaching the shore, Richard looked like a demon. It was hard to find any part of his body still intact.

Beside Christoph, lying motionless and pale as a corpse, Richard gasped heavily, his chest heaving violently. He pressed his fingers into Christoph’s eyelids. His eyes blinked heavily three or four times, glinting sharply. Water flowed from his nose to his chin, but he didn’t wipe it. He didn’t move for a while, lying there, it wouldn’t be surprising if he collapsed on the spot.

How …….had it been?

After a while, Richard slowly looked down at Christoph.

Christoph lay motionless on the dirty ground, his body soaked in red blood oozing from the wound on his waist. Richard stared coldly at the bloody figure.

“If you didn’t bear the Tarten name, you would have been dead under this bridge.”

There was no response. Christoph might have been unconscious. In fact, he should have been unconscious a long time ago.

Richard looked down at his blood-stained clothes and then grabbed Christoph’s collar. At that moment,

As soon as Richard’s hand touched Christoph’s shirt, he flinched. Christoph opened his eyes and looked at Richard with hatred.

“Don’t……. touch……. me…….”

But those words were weak and barely audible.

Richard stared at Christoph’s weakly moving fingers, tugging at the wet shirt clinging to his body.

“You hate being touched, don’t you? But I don’t like touching you either, Christoph ‘Tarten’.”

Richard was saying that if it weren’t for that surname, he would have abandoned Christoph long ago.

When Richard’s hand touched the flesh under the shirt, Christoph, who had been barely able to move like a corpse, suddenly recoiled and screamed in disgust. He struck Richard’s face with his elbow.

Richard, caught off guard, turned his head sharply due to the strong blow. It was a nearly effortless strike. Christoph struggled to lift himself up, intending to break Richard’s neck, but could only lift his upper body.

His soaking clothes had absorbed more than half of his blood. Looking at the saturation, it was not surprising if he fell into shock due to blood loss.

The arm supporting his body trembled uncontrollably. His heavy breathing was labored, with short, thin breaths escaping from his lips.

Beside him, Richard, after turning his head and being silent for a moment, unexpectedly lunged at Christoph. At the same time, he punched Christoph hard in the chin.

Richard’s punch had also lost its usual strength, but it was enough to knock down Christoph, who was struggling to stand.

“Crazy…….!!”

Richard mumbled, wiping his punched face with the back of his hand.

He stood up, approached Christoph, and punched him in the face again. Christoph spat a mouthful of blood onto the ground, his neck being held tightly by Richard, while his stomach was pressed down hard by Richard’s knee. Richard’s other knee pinned Christoph’s hand to the dirty ground, crushing his hand against the filthy earth.

Finally, Richard released Christoph’s neck and grabbed his other free arm. He twisted Christoph’s wrist backward.

“…………..!!”

Christoph couldn’t utter a sound. His eyes just widened slightly.

“Christoph, do you think I hate you?”

Richard sat on Christoph, pressing his knee against him and started speaking.

Christoph tried to open his eyes to look at Richard, but his vision was losing focus.

Richard’s face showed no emotion. The usual smile was gone, replaced by cold eyes staring down at Christoph.

“Yes, I hate you. I really do. You helped me understand what it feels like to hate someone. I even find it amusing because it’s the first time someone has made me hate them this much.”

Richard grabbed Christoph’s neck again. His hand encompassed Christoph’s slender neck and started to tighten.

“I don’t care what you do to me. Even if you almost kill those around me or curse me, or even throw a dog’s corpse on Olivia’s grave, it doesn’t matter. You can do whatever you want. Because it will make the value I achieve after many years of waiting even greater! But Christoph, you ruined everything.”

Richard’s calm voice gradually lowered.

Richard’s hand gripped Christoph’s pale neck so tightly that it seemed like he wanted to tear it apart. Suddenly, Richard leaned down. Their faces were so close that their noses almost touched, and he looked down at Christoph – who appeared to be struggling to breathe.

“You shouldn’t have given up the competition for succession.”

Richard’s lips curled into a sneer as he whispered. His eyes, shiny like glass, looked down at Christoph from above.

“You should have stayed until the end. Waited until the final moment to choose the successor, then yielded to me and spent your life writhing under my feet.”

“―…….”

Even as he opened his mouth, Christoph still couldn’t breathe. He bit his lip, forcing himself to open his eyes and look at Richard.

What do you expect, Richard? Do you want to win the competition for succession? Do you want the clear feeling of victory when looking at the loser?

If so, you have already won.

Christoph had lost.

Ten years ago, when Christoph gave up his second chance. When he abandoned the competition, choosing a massive debt instead of promised glory and wealth, he fled from the competition with Richard.

No need to wait ten years. Therefore, Christoph fled. He lost.

“You have no idea how disappointed and angry I was when I heard you withdrew from the succession struggle. I decided to conquer Tarten just to crush you under my feet, but you ran away?……. At that moment, I really wanted to kill you. If I couldn’t, I’d rather smash my own head because I hated you that much.”

Richard squeezed Christoph’s neck so hard it seemed like the bones might break. The anger from his hatred seeped out like blood on his hands.

Christoph closed his eyes as his vision gradually blurred. His head spun, his consciousness gradually slipping away due to suffocation.

But just before he fell into the distant darkness, Richard’s hand suddenly released his neck.

Christoph tried to open his eyes and saw Richard’s face moving away.

Sitting on top of Christoph, Richard’s icy and furious gaze vanished as if it had never existed.

“Yet you still use the name Tarten.”

A dry laugh, muttering as if talking to himself.

As air filled his clogged lungs, Christoph coughed violently.

He curled up, coughing so hard it felt like his lungs might tear. Richard looked down at Christoph, then slowly stood up from him.

But only for a moment.

Richard immediately flipped Christoph over, using his knees to pin Christoph’s arms and thighs.

Christoph tried to struggle, but Richard used his body weight to hold him down.

Richard silently tore open the seam of Christoph’s shirt, ripping the shirt at the back. Christoph’s back and waist were exposed, with dry blood clinging to unhealed wounds still oozing continuously.

In the darkness, Richard couldn’t see clearly. He clicked his tongue.

He placed his hand on the wound and gently pulled. Christoph flinched. Seeing his shoulders tremble, Richard nodded as if he understood.

It wasn’t because of the pain. It was the creepy feeling of someone else touching his flesh.

“Don’t…….! Ri…….”

Christoph whimpered like a wounded animal but then fell silent when Richard pressed on the wound. His fingers moved slowly along the wound, digging deep as if dissecting the fresh red flesh. Richard watched Christoph’s shoulders stop trembling as if he had calmed down, and Richard smiled faintly – “Ha.”

“That’s right. You can endure the pain. Then bear it.”

Richard shifted his position, twisting Christoph’s arm and sitting up. The distant streetlight shone on the wound, enough for Richard to see.

“Don’t touch…….! I’d rather be stabbed…….!”

Christoph’s voice was so weak it was barely audible, though still full of anger. His body lay flat, occasionally twitching.

Richard slowly ran his finger along the wound, opening it up to its full depth, even to the clotted parts. Richard looked down at Christoph’s face, now pale for reasons other than pain. He checked for any foreign objects before withdrawing his hand. Throughout the process, his eyes never left Christoph’s trembling face.

“Why……. Do you want to vomit?”

Richard whispered.

He slowly wiped the blood on his fingers on Christoph’s bare back. Christoph’s shoulders twitched.

Richard stopped.

On Christoph’s smooth white back, only the bloodstains remained, and Richard’s hand rested on it.

“It seems you’ve gotten a lot better. Now you can endure someone else touching you. That’s right, your ‘friend’.”

“You…….”

“I told you I don’t like it.”

Despite saying this, Richard slowly slid his hand down Christoph’s back. Christoph’s face turned even paler.

“Stop……. I will……. vomit…….”

“Ha, that’s worth seeing. Your beautiful sculpted face covered in vomit would be interesting.”

Richard’s voice was full of sarcasm.

His large hand moved from Christoph’s back to his waist, avoiding the wounds and touching the smooth skin like caressing.

“Richard, stop……. kill me…….”

“You are so precious that just touching you feels disgusting, truly a valuable body. Homosexuals would go crazy for you.”

Richard abruptly fell silent. His hand stopped on Christoph’s waist.

Richard’s sarcastic gaze slowly looked at Christoph. From his tightly clenched lips, as if suppressing a rising nausea, to his pale cheeks, neck, shoulders, and back. Then down to his waist.

“I heard Riegrow said that doing this would make you react terribly. Although I’m not interested in this…….—”

Richard’s low voice trailed off.

His hand, moving on Christoph’s waist, stopped, then slowly slid down to Christoph’s stomach – the one lying pressed down on the ground.

Christoph’s body convulsed violently.

But Richard still held Christoph’s back firmly, pushing his hand deeper into Christoph’s stomach. Richard’s face was expressionless, but a small wrinkle formed at the edge of his eyebrows, as if he was grimacing, seemingly fascinated.

He pressed lightly on the area below Christoph’s navel.

It was surprisingly soft.

The smooth feeling, like a baby’s skin, pressed against his palm.

Christoph groaned, making unclear sounds as he squirmed. But Richard still held him tightly, moving his hand slightly as if soothing a baby with a stomach ache.

The rough feel of body hair brushed against his little finger, which he gently rubbed with his water-soaked little finger. Richard’s hand moved further down.

At some point, Richard stopped speaking.

Christoph, too, after a few screams and curses, now only gritted his teeth, his face deathly pale. Occasionally, choking sounds as if wanting to vomit rose from Christoph’s throat.

Richard’s hand stopped at the thick hair on Christoph’s lower abdomen, then moved further down.

For the first time, someone else’s hand touched Christoph’s forbidden area. As soon as he touched it, Christoph flinched. The hand paused for a moment, then continued to move down to the forbidden area.

First the fingers, then the palm touched the warm skin.

Christoph jerked violently. Though unintentionally, Richard’s hand still enveloped the soft, delicate flesh. He held it firmly enough not to cause pain.

The strange feeling of flesh touching flesh.

And at that moment.

“E-ugh…….eugh…….!”

Christoph’s body convulsed, and he began to vomit.

Though there was only gastric juice because he hadn’t eaten, he still convulsed and vomited repeatedly.

Richard withdrew his hand in surprise as he watched Christoph convulse like a fish out of water.

Richard clumsily withdrew his hand, looking at Christoph with a bewildered expression, then frowned and clicked his tongue. He muttered a curse at someone indistinctly.

“Damn…….”

Richard stood up from Christoph.

He looked at Christoph, who was trying to get up, coughing continuously, with angry eyes. Richard intended to extend his hand to help but then retracted it.

As if Christoph’s disgust had spread to him, Richard’s hand paused in mid-air as it neared Christoph’s shoulder and arm.

Christoph finally stopped vomiting, only heavy breathing remained, looking no different from a corpse. Reflex tears streamed down his cheeks as he closed his eyes.

Richard looked at Christoph with an annoyed expression, realizing that Christoph had lost consciousness.

Perhaps it was better that way. If Christoph had the strength to resist, Richard wouldn’t have had the energy to handle it now.

Tsk, Richard sighed heavily, wiping the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand, then looked back at his hand.

“…….”

Richard clenched his fist tightly in tension, cursing under his breath.

Christoph lay motionless like a corpse. Liquid from his body formed a faint blood puddle on the ground.

Richard rubbed his forehead, then lifted Christoph’s arm over his shoulder and stood up. Christoph’s entire weight leaned on Richard.

Richard stood up more easily than he thought, then looked at Christoph slumped on his shoulder. He began to walk.

Christoph’s weight pressed on his back. His body was cold and damp, but Richard’s warmth was still there.

“Hmph, when you were awake, you didn’t seem human…….”

Richard muttered.

From the bridge above, a shout rang out.

“CHRIS! CHRISTOPH!! ARE YOU THERE?”

A voice called out from the darkness, searching for Christoph. It was the voice of the young man who had been with Christoph.

Richard stopped walking. He glanced at the unconscious Christoph. If he had heard that voice, the man beneath the cold exterior would probably have lit up with a bright smile. But now, that voice couldn’t reach him.

Richard continued to walk. Footsteps echoed as he trod on the dirt and climbed up the riverbank. The young man’s voice grew closer.

“IS THAT YOU OVER THERE? …….HEY CHRISTOPH?!”

Following the young man’s voice was a familiar one.

“Don’t forget your promise.”

“…….”

Richard recognized the deep, leisurely voice behind the young man, causing the young man to suddenly fall silent.

…….Aha.

Finally, Richard remembered what he had forgotten.

Yes. Before jumping into the river, Richard had heard it.

He chuckled softly. His steps became lighter.

As Richard emerged from the darkness, the people on the bridge saw them.

“CHRISTOPH! …….Richard.”

The young man called Christoph’s name first, then Richard’s. Richard looked up at him. Their eyes met.

Seeing Christoph, his entire body injured, his clothes covered in blood and hanging limply like a dead body, the young man grimaced. Richard turned his gaze to the man standing behind him. When Richard’s eyes met the man right behind – Riegrow – he raised his eyebrows slightly.

“You look well.”

Hearing Riegrow’s words, Richard smiled as usual.

“Ah, thanks to you.”

Richard then shifted his gaze to the young man, who was quickly approaching them. Richard carefully observed the young man from head to toe as if meeting him for the first time.

When the young man reached out his hand, seemingly to support Christoph. Richard subtly shifted, causing the young man’s hand to hang awkwardly in the air. Richard smiled calmly.

“If I’m not mistaken…….you are Jeong Taeui, right?”