Prologue

Richard Tarten had never experienced any negative emotions.

It wasn’t that he didn’t understand emotions like hatred, sadness, pain, jealousy, envy, or resentment. He knew what they were and under what circumstances people felt these emotions. He simply had never experienced them.

He had no reason or need to feel them.

Everything was sufficient for him: a loving family, agreeable friends, trust, and affection from them, and enough intelligence to achieve everything he needed.

Therefore, he had never experienced any difficult, embarrassing, or awkward feelings in any situation.

Until that day when the boy with a face like a stone statue evaluated him.

*************

“Christoph is coming.”

Someone whispered.

Under the shade of a large, beautiful tree on the edge of the forest, the teenagers were casually sitting, leaning against rocks or tree trunks, all silent as if they had an appointment. They looked towards the sound of horse hooves approaching from within the forest.

A boy on a white horse, small in stature, sitting upright on the horse’s back, was approaching. He glanced at the teenagers with a slightly displeased expression but quickly looked away as if nothing had happened.

It seemed he was taking advantage of a break to ride.

“Christoph decoded faster than our youngest uncle the other day.”

“Well…… besides that, what’s so special about him?”

Listening to the envious whispers, Richard smiled inwardly.

Nothing special besides that? Completely untrue. Christoph excelled in everything and was particularly outstanding in fields no one else could match. The other teenagers had nothing else to do but make jealous remarks.

Christoph Tarten was clearly a genius. They were a rare breed who achieved better results without effort compared to others.

However, Richard had never felt envious of that. Even though he had to try harder than Christoph, Richard could still achieve similar results.

Therefore, even though friends and even adults sometimes saw them as competitors and compared them in every way, Richard did not mind.

Richard did not like Christoph, nor did he hate him as much as everyone thought. He had no interest in the boy who always isolated himself.

Richard felt happy with the friends around him, who trusted and accompanied him. They trusted Richard, and he led them steadily. That was obvious.

“Christoph!”

One of the teenagers called out to Christoph. When riding past them, Christoph looked over with an annoyed expression but did not stop. At that moment, another shout rang out, seemingly angry.

“A person who always isolates himself cannot inherit the Tarten family!”

Inheriting the Tarten family was the highest value they esteemed.

Christoph frowned slightly. It seemed he did not want to argue, but the clear challenge made him uncomfortable, so he spoke with a bit of irritation.

“Then a person who always sticks with the group like you will inherit?”

The teenager who had just spoken immediately fell silent.

He was not a candidate for inheritance, so his face turned red as he looked at Christoph with angry eyes but did nothing more.

Even if he did not like Christoph, Richard did not want to side with that ignorant boy. He just stood and watched without intervening. When the other boy started to tear up, Richard gently consoled him, telling him not to be upset.

At that moment, Richard noticed.

Christoph was looking at him with a slightly furrowed brow. The look seemed to blame him.

Christoph usually did not pay attention to Richard, like others, rarely showing different expressions towards him. Therefore, Richard felt more curious than uncomfortable at that look.

Someone else seemed to notice Christoph’s gaze. As if finding a weak point, they shouted.

“Why do you hate Richard?”

To them, hating someone could still be a source of criticism. Even Richard, a wonderful child who always treated and protected everyone fairly, “a child that everyone had to love.”

“Richard always helps us and is never arrogant like you.”

Another child chimed in.

Christoph did not respond. Not because he had nothing to say but because he did not want to talk.

Christoph turned away, as if to leave.

At that moment.

“Why do you hate me?”

Suddenly, on an impulse.

Richard spoke.

As soon as he said it, he surprised himself.

He had never asked such a question of anyone. If someone seemed to dislike him, he would ignore it; if they seemed to like him, he would smile back.

Christoph slowly turned to look at Richard, who had just asked the unexpected question without realizing it and was wondering silently. Even though he intended to leave, seeing Richard’s serious look, Christoph coldly said.

“You always stand above others and ‘bestow’ help, then smile kindly. That makes me hate you.”

Christoph said that and then turned away, this time not looking back. The sound of horse hooves gradually faded away.

As for Richard.

He was someone who until now had always led his friends, took it for granted, and earned their trust. He realized that Christoph had seen through him. Things that even Richard himself had never realized.

For the first time, Richard understood what negative feelings were.

Shame and self-reproach, anger at the person who made him realize that, jealousy towards someone superior from the start no matter how hard he tried, and resentment for exposing a truth he did not want to know. The feeling of confusion and turmoil from those unfamiliar emotions.

For the first time, he felt the discomfort of a dark seed growing from his heart, exposing its ugly, thorny spikes.

It was not a trivial matter.

The shame of being seen through to his own bad side, which no one else – including himself – had ever noticed, grew into anger and hatred.

“He’s the one looking down on everyone from above.”

“Christoph has always been like that. His temperament is always twisted.”

Listening to the grumbling of his friends, Richard – who stood there as if frozen – slowly returned to reality.

“I didn’t mean it like that…… Maybe I was arrogant without realizing it. I’m sorry if I made anyone uncomfortable.”

Richard apologized with a genuinely remorseful look, smiling awkwardly at his friends, but he still knew.

Saying that, they would immediately jump up to oppose, saying it wasn’t true, that Christoph was just making things up, and he wasn’t like that. And he would appear more upright.

Things he had done unconsciously before, within minutes before, he was now always consciously aware of.

***************

Once an emotional seed has sprouted, no matter how many times you try to cut it off, you cannot eradicate it, and it grows persistently. From then on, Richard began to pay attention to Christoph. Before, he didn’t care that much. Just another person competing with him. But from then on, the other competitors became unimportant to him.

He only paid attention to Christoph. Holding tight and suppressing the dark, negative emotions within him.

But Christoph always saw through those ugly feelings, and gradually Richard realized that hiding it from Christoph was useless.

Richard always watched Christoph. Always. Even in his dreams.

Since when did he only think about how to put Christoph below him in the most thorough way without being hindered or criticized by anyone? He craved that more than anything.

By that time, the relationship between the two had become ‘very bad’ to the point where everyone noticed, and just at that moment.

Richard’s frail younger sibling passed away, and Christoph did something terrible at his brother’s grave.

Richard laughed then.

Even though he was very sorrowful and distressed by his brother’s death, because of what Christoph did, he felt joy.

Now he could hate Christoph justifiably. No matter how ugly and twisted his hatred showed, no one could criticize him.

That was his beloved younger sibling. The younger sibling Richard loved and cherished the most. Christoph had desecrated his brother’s death.

Now, no matter what Richard did to Christoph – after enduring for a long time and standing in an absolute position – no one could blame him.

Richard had received absolution when it came to Christoph.

From his own conscience and heart……