Jeong Taeui’s tragedy was knowing that there was nowhere to run, even if he wanted to escape.

At such a late hour, he couldn’t flee into the forest and stay there overnight – let alone forever – and he couldn’t ask anyone for help. Doing so would only drag others into trouble and everything would end horribly.

Jeong Taeui had no choice but to return to his room, lock the door, then crawl into bed, and pull the blanket over his head.

No matter what happens tonight, he was determined not to open that door. Even if someone knocked on it a hundred times, he wouldn’t open it.

Jeong Taeui knew this was only a temporary escape, but at the moment, it was his only refuge.

“There’s no such thing as a perfect crime…… What was I thinking?”

Taeui felt like he understood the regret of criminals better today than ever before.

He buried his face in the pillow, rubbed it hard and groaned in anguish.

“………”

In reality, it wasn’t fear that nearly left him paralyzed, but rather a deep sense of shame.

As soon as he returned to his room, he locked the door, crawled into bed and stayed still. Gradually, his mind began to clear and the memories of what he had done after entering Ilay’s room became painfully vivid.

What had he said?

He couldn’t remember the minor details, but the words that he thought: ‘I’d rather die than say this in front of him’ resurfaced in his mind most clearly.

There were moments when he recalled every word he had spoken and grabbed his head in agony, then remembered another line and continued to writhe in pain.

Suddenly, he heard a sound. The sound of slow, heavy footsteps echoed steadily while  drawing closer to his room.

Startled, Jeong Taeui instinctively curled up and pulled the blanket tighter around him. He wrapped his entire body in the blanket, leaving only his eyes exposed and listened carefully.

But suddenly, the sound disappeared.

He waited a little longer, but still, there was no further sound.

“……?? I heard those footsteps so clearly.”

Jeong Taeui mumbled and tilted his head. After a while, no other sounds were heard and everything outside was incredibly quiet.

“…….Did I imagine it?”

Just as Taeui whispered to himself, puzzled:

“Taei, open the door.”

A deep, steady voice rang out from beyond the door, clear as if it were spoken right next to his ear.

He’s here!

Taeui’s face went pale as he stared at the door. The person was standing just outside.

Jeong Taeui stared at the door – his last fragile line of defense – and thought for a moment.

Wouldn’t it be better to quickly open the door, cling to him before he enters and hope for some leniency? But maybe it would be better to hide until the last moment……

Although reason suggested that the first option was better, Taeui’s chaotic emotions urged him to choose the second option, as it offered a fleeting sense of safety.

No, think more rationally. Of course, opening the door himself is the best option…… But how could he face him……

If fear had been the dominant emotion in Jeong Taeui, his firm reason would have chosen the first option. After years of living with that man, he had somewhat grown accustomed to fear in such situations—or rather, he had become numb to it.

But now, it wasn’t fear. Instead of fear, his entire body was trembling uncontrollably from the embarrassment as the words he had spoken echoed in his mind.

If his memory could fade even just a little, perhaps things would be easier, but right now, he simply couldn’t face that man. The shame might kill him on the spot.

Jeong Taeui told himself: ‘No, I need to wait until my memory and emotions fade a bit. Right now, I can’t face him.’ Then he burrowed deeper into the blanket.

At that moment, everything outside suddenly became quiet.

A soft knock on the door was heard briefly, but when Jeong Taeui held his breath and stayed still, that sound also ceased.

But just five seconds later.

Only five short seconds of silence passed before a loud bang erupted!!! ——The door was slammed with a violent *Bang!!*

Jeong Taeui jumped and quickly pulled the blanket over his face. While trying to calm himself down, a calm and gentle voice rang out, making him wonder if he had misheard.

“Open the door, Taei.”

A calm and composed voice, completely at odds with the explosive noise just moments ago. It could be the voice of a wolf luring young lambs out with the promise of not harming them.

“You’re not opening the door?……How troublesome.”

But this man was even more terrifying than a wolf devouring lambs and he immediately put his skills to use in his next actions.

*――Boom!*

The sound of destruction reverberated, terrifying and dreadful, piercing Jeong Taeui’s ears.

Jeong Taeui stared at the door with wide eyes, unable to believe what he was seeing. Even though this room had poor soundproofing, the door was still a sturdy wooden one, with two well-joined hinges.

Another loud bang was heard, followed by strange noises. When the eerie sound of *Crack Crack* echoed about four times, the door had completely lost its function.

With the final crack, a large hole appeared right above the door handle, it was big enough for a slender person to easily crawl through.

Jeong Taeui was stunned as he looked at the terrifying hole in the door, which had been horribly damaged.

Why did he forget about this guy?

This was something that should never have been forgotten—an extremely important thing.

Perhaps his mind had completely frozen, turning him into a complete fool.

Through the large hole, he could see the man’s waist. Even though it was just his waist, clothed and all, Jeong Taeui knew exactly who it was. Instead of feeling impressed with his ability to recognize people, he could only lament his own stupidity and bury his face in the bed.

A hand reached through that hole.

The hand, clad in dark green gloves, fumbled for the internal lock and opened it. Just as the door was about to be opened, the hand paused, then removed the gloves and tossed them aside, revealing a fair hand that Taeui loved dearly.

He knew very well why so many people felt fear when they saw this beautiful hand, but now, he was truly experiencing that feeling all over again.

As Jeong Taeui sat curled up in bed, wrapped tightly in the blanket with only his wide eyes peeking out, he watched as the door slowly opened.

Then, the sound of shoes stepping on the floor was heard as the man entered.

He tapped the floor with his shoe a few times to shake off any wood fragments stuck to his shoes and the man, possessing immense destructive power – Ilay Riegrow – walked straight towards Jeong Taeui. He stopped just a few steps from the bed.

“……”

Jeong Taeui could only raise his wide eyes to look at him. He looked down at Taeui with an expressionless face.

“What’s this? I thought you were either asleep or in the bathroom since you didn’t answer when I called and didn’t open the door, but it turns out you’re sitting on the bed…… completely awake.”

Ilay muttered as if talking to himself and took another step closer.

A tense atmosphere surrounded the small space within about 30 centimeters around Jeong Taeui.

Ilay looked down from above at Taeui, who was curled up and wrapped in the blanket. The silence stretched like that of an ant and finally, he spoke.

“You said you came to get money. So why didn’t you stay to collect it? Why did you leave before I had a chance to return?”

Oh…… right, now that he thought about it, he had said that—his damn tongue……

Jeong Taeui froze, surprised by the first words that came out of his mouth, spoken in a tone far gentler than expected. He had forgotten, but he had originally come here to ask Ilay for money.

“How much do you need?”

Ilay asked directly for the amount without inquiring about the reason behind it. He seemed too impatient to wait for a response, so he rummaged through his pocket, pulled out a wallet and took out a bank card. He tossed it onto the nightstand.

“There, now you’ve taken care of your business.”

Without asking any further questions, Ilay addressed Jeong Taeui’s request effortlessly, then turned around and sat on the bed. He sat close enough that a single reach could touch Jeong Taeui, then tilted his head.

“Now, I have something to deal with……”

It’s amazing how a low, quiet voice can sound so terrifying.

Ilay turned his head to look at Jeong Taeui – who was sitting curled up, wrapped in a blanket – showing only his eyes. He stared at him, then reached out.

As that hand approached, Taeui slowly backed away, causing Ilay to chuckle softly before grabbing hold of the blanket.

“Jeong Taei, I think we need to have a serious conversation. Don’t you think so?”

“A serious conversation…… sounds nice but……”

At that moment, Ilay yanked the blanket, causing Jeong Taeui to tumble on the bed. His head struck Ilay’s knee, making him groan softly in pain.

Ilay clicked his tongue. He pulled Jeong Taeui’s hand – who was holding his head, frowning – and carefully examined the spot before saying: “It’s okay”

Then he stared at Jeong Taeui as he slowly backed away and sat at the edge of the bed where there was no more room to retreat. Only then did Ilay slowly shake his head.

“A wooden door, a blanket, and a distance of less than two meters are not good hiding places.”

Then he quickly stood up, took exactly two steps and sat right next to Jeong Taeui.

“You’re not an idiot, but sometimes you do things that are bewilderingly stupid.”

Jeong Taeui glanced at Ilay, who was muttering as if he couldn’t comprehend it and thought to himself: ‘That’s because you never feel embarrassed or ashamed……’

When he thought back, Jeong Taeui couldn’t count the times he had seen Ilay express emotions like a real human being. It did happen occasionally. Though it had been years, there were moments when Jeong Taeui was astonished to see expressions he never expected to appear on Ilay Riegrow’s face, especially when it concerned Jeong Taeui.

Ilay had been embarrassed or even angry enough to show strong emotions and sometimes joy in a very human way.

……This showed that in the inhumanity of Ilay, there was still a bit of humanity left, but Jeong Taeui had never seen Ilay display qualities like shame or conscience.

Even now.

“But anyway, you’ve destroyed someone else’s door like this, what are you going to do……”

Right nearby, at the entrance just a few steps away, there was a shattered door, hanging by a thread like a rag.

Right next to the door handle, there was a huge hole, big enough for a person to crawl through, which had been punched out and the hinges had almost completely been torn off, so much so that even Jeong Taeui could remove them.

Leaving aside the issue of compensation, Ilay had been welcomed into a nice room as a guest. Yet he acted so rudely. it was beyond ungrateful.

Moreover, there was another minor issue: the room, which already had poor soundproofing, now had a large hole in it, so there was no soundproofing left. Closing the door was useless now since everything inside could be seen from the outside to the point that if he wanted to change his underwear, Jeong Taeui would have to go to the bathroom and change in embarrassment.

As Jeong Taeui muttered and looked at the door in embarrassment, Ilay only glanced at it and casually said:

“It’s fine. Richard told me to do whatever I want.”

“……”

Jeong Taeui remained silent.

After hearing those words, Jeong Taeui realized. This man had anticipated that this situation might occur. But Richard was no better. Surely, he had smiled and granted permission to break the door without any concern for Taeui’s safety. A feeling of resentment towards Richard rose within Jeong Taeui.

But what worried him more at this moment wasn’t the door. Even if hundreds of doors were destroyed, what troubled him the most was……

“…….Did you both listen to the entire recording?”

“Unfortunately, that was the only available player.” (So he had to listen with Richard)

Though he had expected it, Jeong Taeui felt even more disheartened when he saw Ilay nod immediately. He had been downcast from the start, but hearing this, he felt as if he had hit rock bottom in despair.

Having just Ilay listen was already enough to make Jeong Taeui want to dig a hole and bury his head, he couldn’t believe that another person had heard everything.

Jeong Taeui slowly reached out towards the blanket that Ilay had yanked off and thrown aside, but Ilay’s beautiful white hand grabbed his midway.

“Before you pull the blanket over yourself, Jeong Taei, you should check something important first.”

“……?……What?”

Ilay’s gaze suddenly changed.

Just a few minutes ago, he had treated Jeong Taeui calmly and casually, which was entirely inappropriate for someone who had just violently destroyed a door. But now, his long, narrow eyes squinted in a terrifying way and he stared intensely at Jeong Taeui.

Why was he looking at him so intently? Jeong Taeui shrank back and waited for him to speak.

“When did you start saying that you like me two or three times a week?”

Ilay’s question was completely unexpected.

In this situation, Jeong Taeui had thought the first question would be why he used a bugging device without permission, but Ilay’s first question was this, so Jeong Taeui set that aside for now.

Ilay’s voice was cold and sharp as he asked the question, as if accusing Jeong Taeui of lying. His long, slender eyes stared at Jeong Taeui with a reproachful look.

Although there were many vague and uncertain things about other issues, Jeong Taeui had no doubt about the truth of what he had said and he immediately opened his eyes wide and looked up. No, this was something he had the right to be angry about.

“WHEN? I’VE TOLD YOU A HUNDRED TIMES! NO, A HUNDRED TIMES IS TOO FEW—I TELL YOU 2-3 TIMES A WEEK AND EACH TIME AT LEAST TWO OR THREE TIMES. SO THAT’S A THOUSAND TIMES!”

“When did you say that? If you had said it even once, of course, I would remember.”

Ilay sneered as if that were ridiculous. Jeong Taeui gasped: “HUH?” and stared at him in disbelief.

What a shameless man.

Jeong Taeui had said countless times that he liked him, yet he didn’t remember, didn’t even feel sorry and had the audacity to insist that he hadn’t said it and even rolled his eyes as if blaming him.

Jeong Taeui breathed heavily and opened his mouth, looking at Ilay in astonishment.

“OF COURSE, I CAN’T PROVIDE ANY EVIDENCE IF YOU DEMAND IT, BUT EVEN JUST RECENTLY WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER, I TOLD YOU! HOW CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER?”

Jeong Taeui pounded his chest as if his heart were breaking, hitting himself and yelling. It was hard to believe that just a moment ago, he had been trembling and hiding under the blanket to avoid the angry gaze of this man.

Ilay – who was about to retort – suddenly stopped as if he had just remembered something. He froze in place, his mouth still slightly open as if in thought, then looked down at Jeong Taeui and slowly closed his mouth.

A brief silence fell over both of them.

In the silence, Jeong Taeui panted alone in anger and glaring fiercely at Ilay. The fierce glare in Ilay’s eyes gradually lost its intensity. Soon, his gaze became doubtful or perhaps confused, as he stared back at Jeong Taeui.

“……Taei, I want to ask you something.”

“What? When did I say that? What hour, what minute, what second?”

Jeong Taeui, as if reverting to a primary school student, he frowned and asked back. Ilay was silent for a moment before speaking.

“Are you sure that what you called telling me you liked me a thousand times…… is……”

“What?”

“Is it when we were intimate and you whispered – ‘love it, love it’ – as you felt pleasure and ejaculated? Is that what you’re referring to?”

“YOU KNOW IT BUT YOU SAY YOU NEVER HEARD IT!”

“……”

Jeong Taeui’s face turned crimson in an instant and he tried to shout to cover up his embarrassment. Ilay remained silent, only looking at Taeui with a blank and confused expression.

Suddenly, as if all the strength had left his body, Ilay sighed softly and covered his face with his hand. Then he gently massaged his temples with his thumb as if feeling tired.

“You say I lack common sense…… But sometimes I think you’re the one who needs to learn more about some basic common sense.”

Hearing Ilay whisper such words made Jeong Taeui feel choked up and unable to respond. Common sense…… it was something he could hear from someone else, but he didn’t want to hear it from this man.

Seeing Taeui’s bewildered expression, Ilay frowned slightly and clicked his tongue.

“When you say ‘like’ in moments like that, it’s clearly a reaction to pleasure. Who would think it was a confession of love?”

Hearing Ilay scold him as if he were teaching a foolish child, Jeong Taeui stared at him blankly then closed his eyes. He lifted his head and let out a long sigh.

“Ilay…… Ilay, think carefully. Remember. Since when did I start shouting ‘like, really like’ when we were having sex?”

As far as Jeong Taeui could recall, aside from the initial stages when he was utterly terrified and genuinely thought he would split in two and die that night, he had told this man that he liked it after he gradually began to endure it. From the time when Jeong Taeui didn’t feel anything from penetration but only achieved orgasm and ejaculation from frontal stimulation, he had certainly told this man that he liked it.

“Lately, it’s been fine, but at the beginning, did you really think I enjoyed it so much that I had to scream that I liked it when I did it with you?! Remember that thing you see every day in the bathroom!”

As he recalled and remembered the first time he was forced by this man, tears welled up in his eyes again. Back then, he really thought he was going to die, but because human life is so resilient so he still survived.

After crying for a while because of the painful memories, he saw Ilay looking at him with a strange expression.

“What?”

Jeong Taeui mumbled irritably as he remembered the terrifying past that made him break out in a cold sweat just thinking about it. Ilay raised an eyebrow slightly and responded vaguely: “It’s nothing……”

The situation had completely reversed from before and Jeong Taeui glared at Ilay, who was silent and kept his mouth shut.

Then suddenly, Taeui was a bit surprised to see this man – a person who never knew insecurity – stay quiet and not respond. So, he gently softened the tension in his gaze.

Ilay had been silent for a while before responding, as if waiting for the moment when Taeui started to relax and calm down.

“So, when you say you like me in those moments, does it means you’re talking about me and not about the sex, right?”

“Yes.”

Jeong Taeui quickly nodded and responded instantly. Then he suddenly stopped: ‘Huh, what’s happening?’

It seemed that he had just blurted out something that under normal circumstances he would be too embarrassed to face and say out loud when his mind was clear.

Jeong Taeui thought: ‘Huh? Huh?’ then slowly sneaked a glance at Ilay. And immediately, he was startled.

Ilay was smiling. He was looking down at Jeong Taeui with a very intense smile on his lips.

Seeing that smile, Jeong Taeui thought to himself: ‘Ah, I was right.’

So it turns out he was correct. Because he had said what needed to be said. Even though his face was now blushing with embarrassment and seeing Ilay smile so happily was truly rare.

“Taei.”

Ilay suddenly whispered. Jeong Taeui responded hesitantly and Ilay called his name again.

“Taei……”

“What?”

When things get this embarrassing and awkward, people almost give up on feeling shy. Jeong Taeui sighed and slightly lifted his gaze towards Ilay.

Before he realized it, Ilay was already in front of Taeui. His arm circled behind Taeui as if to embrace him and his hand gently stroked Taeui’s cheek.

“Do you really like me?”

Their foreheads touched. Ilay whispered softly, as if sharing a secret. For some reason, this made Jeong Taeui feel a surge of shame in his heart, so he instinctively tried to pull back, but the arm holding his shoulders, even though seemingly gentle that held him tightly and prevented him from retreating.

“……Yes, I like you.”

Jeong Taeui answered honestly. His cheeks were burning hotter, but at such close range, perhaps Ilay couldn’t see it when their foreheads were touching. However, the hand stroking his cheek could certainly feel the rising temperature.

“If you like me, then you won’t leave Berlin, will you?”

“……Yes, as long as you’re still there.”

“Even if you’re no longer wanted and can move freely?”

“Yes, as long as you’re still there.”

And if Ilay moved somewhere else, Jeong Taeui would follow him. At least, as long as Ilay wanted him to.

Jeong Taeui repeated the same answer. Although embarrassed, his response was neither hesitant nor ambiguous. Hearing this, Ilay smiled gently.

“What’s with us now? We’ve been together for years, so why do you act like this now……”

When Jeong Taeui muttered with a bit of discontent in his tone, Ilay giggled.

“Hearing you say that makes me very happy. You almost never say things like that.”

Jeong Taeui vaguely recalled – ‘Is that true?’– and suddenly tilted his head in thought. And even with their foreheads still touching, his eyes suddenly widened.

“Now that I think about it, you say those things even less!”

“Ah…… Really?”

Ilay responded as if he didn’t know.

Thinking back on it, that was true. Until now, Jeong Taeui had always been so flustered by the awkward words coming out of his own mouth that he had never thought about it carefully. But in hindsight, Ilay was actually the one who almost never said those things.

“Now that I think about it, that’s true.”

Hearing Ilay’s calm whisper, Jeong Taeui felt a little annoyance rising within him.

He didn’t say it himself but dared to blame others.

Jeong Taeui slightly turned his head away from him and clicked his tongue. He looked at him with a dissatisfied expression. But soon, that sharp gaze softened as well.

Actually, it was better not to hear those words.

If he could hear them, of course, he would be happy—so happy that his face would turn red. But not hearing those words didn’t make him feel lonely or anxious.

Because he knew.

Ilay treated Taeui in a ‘special’ way.

Sometimes, because of that special treatment, Jeong Taeui had to endure the pitying gazes of others – and there were times when Taeui himself lamented that he didn’t like being special in this way – but perhaps Taeui was the only one who knew the gentle side of the man named Ilay Riegrow.

If the gentleness that was like the tip of an iceberg could be revealed even for a brief and  unnoticeable moment, then the massive block of ice hidden beneath it must be so large that he couldn’t even imagine it.

“You’re being deceived, oh poor Taei” – Kyle would sometimes cling to Jeong Taeui and feel sorry for him when he was a little tipsy. But they didn’t understand anything.

“Without you, Taei. Everything feels meaningless.”

Ilay suddenly blurted out.

Jeong Taeui, who was lost in thought, looked up and asked: “Huh?”

He had heard what Ilay said, but he didn’t immediately grasp its meaning.

However, before Jeong Taeui could ask again: ‘What did you say?’ Ilay had already looked at him carefully from head to toe with a gaze as if he were looking at something strange and unusual. Those eyes at first glance, they seemed cold, as if they were silently saying: ‘How odd.’

“I’ve tried thinking about it. Before I met you, how were things? It seemed like there wasn’t much difference or anything unusual. So, what changed? I kept thinking about it, but I couldn’t figure it out.”

“……”

Jeong Taeui looked at Ilay, who was muttering with a slightly weary expression, and smirked bitterly.

Although the door was broken to that extent, it seemed that he was still very grateful for being spared…… Although he didn’t expect to hear the words: ‘My life changed because of you.’ but also didn’t need to say: ‘Before or after meeting you, it’s all the same.’

Jeong Taeui scratched his head. In his mind, he thought: ‘My life has been completely turned upside down after meeting this guy.’

“But when I came here and stayed here for two months before you arrived, I realized something: Without you, I can’t get angry.”

The story was getting stranger and stranger.