Jeong Taeui stared at Ilay’s mouth, from which those strange words had emerged, with a slightly astonished expression.

“Before I met you, it was the same. There were small things that annoyed me, but I never lost my temper to the point of getting truly angry. If something bothered me even a little, I would simply eliminate the cause.”

“So, you’re saying that as long as I’m not around, you won’t get angry anymore……?”

When Jeong Taeui asked again to confirm with a doubtful expression, Ilay nodded calmly.

“Exactly. As long as you’re not around, there’s nothing to make me angry or annoyed.”

Jeong Taeui fell silent and stared at him. It seemed the conversation had taken a strange turn. Just moments ago, things had been a bit awkward and embarrassing but still good, and yet suddenly, the whole direction of the conversation had completely changed.

Jeong Taeui sighed and scratched his head.

“So what are you trying to say? You want me to leave Berlin?”

“Ah—if that were the case, I would have been angry after a long time, and I would be very angry.”

“What do you want then?”

Jeong Taeui widened his eyes at Ilay. He was trying to glare but the distance between them was so close that he couldn’t effectively glare, which made him more annoyed.

As expected, seeing Taeui trying to glare at such a close distance didn’t look intimidating at all but rather funny, and causing Ilay to suddenly giggle. Then he unexpectedly licked Jeong Taeui’s eyelid.

“Ow! You licked my eye! It hurts……”

Jeong Taeui rubbed his eyes and began to seriously think that the phrase – “As long as you’re not around, there’s nothing to get angry about” – was actually the phrase he should have said! However, as he rubbed his eyes, Ilay gently brushed his hand away and placed his lips softly on Jeong Taeui’s tear-filled eyes then lightly caressing them.

“When you’re not around, everything seems dull. I hardly feel anger or irritation anymore. Nothing brings me joy or interest.”

“……―.”

Jeong Taeui remained silent. He didn’t say a word, only feeling the gentle movement of Ilay’s lips on his eyelids.

“Everything becomes tasteless…… nothing is stimulating. My mind slows down. I don’t feel much anymore. Everything is just barely enough—barely fun, barely satisfying, barely worth getting angry about.”

Ilay’s voice dropped a little.

Jeong Taeui listened to that voice with a feeling of being drawn into something. Then suddenly, he mumbled.

“Alcohol, cigarettes, women……?”

The words he had just heard briefly flashed through his mind.

At that moment, Ilay suddenly burst out laughing. He laughed loudly, slightly tilting his head back as he pulled away a little and looked down at Jeong Taeui.

How strange. It was strange indeed. Ilay’s face today looked particularly more cheerful than usual. Or perhaps it was just because of the situation right now?

Jeong Taeui tilted his head to look at him and then sighed inwardly.

He had just realized something else. After all, as long as Ilay was happy, Jeong Taeui felt happy too. Most things, as long as Ilay was happy, were just fine for Jeong Taeui.

“But you don’t drink much, smoke much, or date women much.”

Even as Jeong Taeui mumbled about it, he realized he was saying something not very reasonable. Although it wasn’t related to the main point of the conversation, he still blurted it out because he felt a bit awkward.

Ilay lowered his head slightly and looked at Jeong Taeui with a faint smile before starting to list each thing.

“I used to drink a lot, but lately, not so much. I can drink if I want to, but unless it’s a special occasion, I don’t bother. Same with cigarettes. As for women, I used to play around quite a bit, but recently—in the last few years—I haven’t even touched them.”

“Then your life has already been boring, hasn’t it?”

“Ah…… The time when I started getting bored with those three things coincided almost exactly with when I arrived at the Asian branch of UNHRDO. There was something there that was more stimulating than all three combined.”

“……..”

Jeong Taeui wanted to ask something, but considering the answer he might receive, he decided it was better not to ask.

But somehow, in moments like these, this man often knew the questions in his mind and answered them before he could even ask. Just like now.

“In other words, Taei. You’ve taken away my alcohol, cigarettes, and women.”

“No, no, that’s not it. I’m telling you, you’ve misunderstood.”

“The one most responsible for making the small pleasures in my life dull is you, Taei.”

Ilay smiled brightly. His eyes curved and clearly showed he was in a very good mood. ……Damn it, this isn’t good—I’m starting to feel happy too.

Jeong Taeui sighed. Then he looked at Ilay intently and asked: “So then……”

“If I told you to give up all your alcohol, cigarettes, and women, what would you do?”

“I’d give them up.”

The answer came immediately without a moment’s hesitation. Ilay didn’t even seem to be joking or lying. He looked at Taeui as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Jeong Taeui looked at Ilay with a slightly embarrassed expression for a moment.

Although that was his intention from the beginning, he didn’t expect him to declare it so firmly. However, in any case……

“……..Alright. I’ll take responsibility. If you give up the three greatest pleasures in life, then I’ll have to bear the responsibility……”

Jeong Taeui waved his hand enthusiastically and added – “No, you don’t have to give up everything except women.” – which made Ilay burst into laughter.

He pulled Jeong Taeui closer, then gently licked his lips. Very softly, as if tasting a sweet candy, Ilay slowly savored Jeong Taeui’s lips before suddenly kissing him deeply.

For a moment, Jeong Taeui was breathless, but this wasn’t the first time, so he had gradually gotten used to the rhythm.

He slowly breathed through his nose and even sighed lazily.

Suddenly, he felt in a good mood. When he smiled gently, it seemed that the laughter transferred to their lips, causing Ilay to pull back slightly and look at him with a curious expression, as if asking why.

“No…… it’s just that I like you.”

Jeong Taeui whispered softly. Ilay raised an eyebrow with a strange look. Then he sighed as if lamenting and whispered – “Taei” – This time, his lips covered Jeong Taeui’s and seemingly unwilling to let go.

Who knows how much time passed.

After exploring Jeong Taeui’s mouth for a long time, Ilay suddenly whispered in a low voice.

“There’s a taste of beer.”

“Huh?……Ah, before coming to your room, I had one or two…… Is it still there?”

“Hmm—no worries. Because you’ve promised to become my drink. Even a tongue that tastes like alcohol is quite delicious.”

As if truly savoring it, Ilay gently slid his tongue in. Then suddenly, as if thinking of something, he asked teasingly.

“What about you?”

“Huh?”

“If you had to choose between beer and me, which would you give up?”

“Huh? What do you mean? Of course——”

Jeong Taeui chuckled foolishly and was about to answer, but instinctively, when he imagined the cool taste of beer, he hesitated for just a moment. Just a very, very brief moment!

As soon as he realized the brief and unnatural pause in his speech, Jeong Taeui quickly kissed Ilay to salvage the situation……but it was already too late.

This frighteningly sharp man wasn’t the type to easily overlook such things.

“……..”

Ilay’s silence grew more and more intimidating. Jeong Taeui tried to ignore the looming crisis by kissing Ilay softly on the lips like a cute kitten to escape the situation, but the foreboding shadow seemed to grow ever darker.

“……I understand.”

In a desperate attempt to salvage the situation, Jeong Taeui wrapped his arms around Ilay’s neck and tried to lick his lips like a kitten, but Ilay’s voice deepened. The warm and cheerful tone he had just moments ago was completely gone.

“I understand very well, Taei.”

He said calmly then gripping Jeong Taeui’s shoulders and gently pushing him away.

Jeong Taeui looked at Ilay with a confused expression, his eyes trembling with worry and tension, his gaze filled with urgency. But Ilay just quietly looked back at him and said:

“I asked too cruel a question for a beer lover like you. Fine then, leave me. I’ll help you.”

Ilay said this in a deep and heavy voice, then suddenly began unbuttoning his shirt. Not long after, in front of Jeong Taeui, who was watching him with a worried expression, Ilay had quickly stripped off all his clothes. Without saying a word, he grabbed Jeong Taeui and, in the blink of an eye, tore off his clothes as well, despite Jeong Taeui’s attempt to explain: “Wait, hold on, I was just a bit distracted earlier…….”

“Yaaaa! Wait a minute! Look at that door! If someone passes by, they’ll see everything, and not to mention the sound echoing down the hallway……! Hold on, Ilay, I made a mistake earlier, I was wrong……!!!”

“Don’t worry too much. I’ll help you. Like I said, in a way ‘so ruthless and brutal that even a hundred years of love will cool in an instant.’ ”

“No, wait, it’s not like that, hold on……!”

No more excuses escaped Jeong Taeui’s mouth. After that, only incoherent sounds followed.

Until he finally blurted out that he’d rather give up beer.

*************

/Flashback of Christoph/

When I was a child, I once had such a thought.

Why can’t I?

What is the difference between me and that guy? No one is exactly the same, but what makes him able to do it while I cannot?

I wasn’t angry. I wasn’t even sad anymore. I was just curious and bewildered as I watched the scene unfold before my eyes. And then I wondered, why can’t I?

My mother loved that guy. Anyone could see it. She doted on him, treated him with the utmost tenderness and care. And I had never seen her be like that with me.

I didn’t expect my mother to treat me like that. I wasn’t jealous of him. I was truly just curious.

Why can’t I?

Then suddenly, I remembered something my mother once said.

“You’re lacking.”

Lacking what? Lacking where? How do I make up for it?

But my mother didn’t specify. The only thing she let me know was that I was lacking.

Since then, I’ve always wondered, with a voice echoing in my head.

Why can’t I?

And even now……

I still don’t know.

Why can’t I?

Just like before, why could he, but I couldn’t?

The glass shattered.

The sound *Crash!*―― The delicate glass shattered into pieces, creating a crisp sound. Hearing that sound, I swung my arm, striking the object next to me. Another shattering sound echoed.

Am I angry?

I asked myself these questions as I pounded the broken shards on the table with my fist, grinding them into even smaller pieces.

Am I angry? ―― No.

Am I offended? ―― Also no.

Even though my hand was torn and soaked in blood, I continued to crush the shards with my knuckles until they could be broken no further.

Soon, the table had become a chaotic mess of blood and shattered pieces that no longer resembled their original shape, now covered in dark red blood.

At this moment, I finally stopped and quietly looked at the shattered pieces, just as I now looked at my hands, stained with red and black to the point where their original color was unrecognizable.

And I thought.

Maybe I’m depressed.

/End flashback of Christoph/

********************

Christoph quietly looked at the box on the table.

It was a large box with an elegant logo printed on it, likely containing a large antique doll inside.

There were blood stains on the box. Fortunately, the top of the box remained relatively clean, with its dark green color barely tainted, but the sides and bottom were stained with blood.

Although the dark green of the box made the blood stains less noticeable, they were still clearly visible upon closer inspection.

Even though the inside of the box might still be spotless, in this condition, it could no longer be used as a gift.

“……It’s okay. I’ll just throw it away.”

Christoph suddenly whispered.

The words whispered from his own mouth echoed clearly in his ears.

――It’s okay. I’ll just throw it away.

Christoph suddenly thought about the last time he personally bought a gift for someone.

But there was no need to recall that memory. Because this was the first time for him.

Before this, he had given gifts to an elderly person on that person’s birthday, but that was before he left Dresden, and those gifts were actually chosen by his mother and sent by her. So this was the first time Christoph had chosen a gift for someone by himself.

This wasn’t easy.

When he spent some time in the afternoon going to a fashion store and stepping into the ready-made clothing section, his mood immediately became uncomfortable.

Ready-made clothes? Even custom-made clothes from unprofessional places often turn out poorly, let alone ready-made clothes.

Although he had entered a well-known store, from the moment he set foot inside, his mood had already become unpleasant. The thought of having to give such a terrible thing as a gift really bothered him, and he muttered his dissatisfaction. After much deliberation, he finally chose a set of clothes that seemed decent and acceptable to wear.

It seemed fine in its own way. For something hastily bought to be worn for a day, it wasn’t too bad.

Unfortunately, the store only had the display item and none available for purchase, so he had to order it from another store and request it to be delivered directly to the house. When he returned home late in the afternoon, the carefully wrapped box was already there.

His mood wasn’t bad.

Except for the fact that it was ready-made clothing, he felt quite satisfied when he saw the carefully selected item elegantly packaged.

It should suit him.

On the outside, he appeared slender, but in reality, he had a well-built physique with skin slightly tanned more than typical Asians – resembling a South American mix – so this outfit would likely suit him well. It would certainly look much better than the old shirt and cotton pants he usually wore around the house.

Right now, he should go and have him take off that terrible outfit and change into this one. If it didn’t fit, he would throw it away and buy a new one tomorrow. It might be fun to choose again.

When Christoph returned to the mansion, it was already past dinner time, but he ate lightly and then went to take a bath. After bathing, he hugged the box to his chest and headed toward Jeong Taeui’s room.

His heart was pounding strangely. He felt a bit excited, similar to when he was angry or thrilled, but it wasn’t a bad feeling. If this kind of excitement felt this good, it was great.

This was a moment when he felt like he should smile.

Christoph forced a smile on his face, which rarely smiled easily, and approached Jeong Taeui’s room.

And then he saw.

It was clear that everything had been normal when he returned to his room earlier, but while he was eating and bathing, something had happened that caused Jeong Taeui’s room door to be completely destroyed.

The door creaked as if it could fall off its hinges at any moment, and right next to the doorknob was a large hole. Through this hole, he could see wood fibers sticking out, as if someone had used a hammer to smash it.

And through that large hole, part of the room inside was visible.

It was a hole big enough for a child to crawl through. Even without seeing the entire room, the hole was enough for Christoph to recognize what was happening in one corner of it.

No, he didn’t even need to look to know. The suppressed sounds seeping through the crack of the door and through the large hole were more than enough.

So when Christoph, who had slowed his steps out of surprise at the broken door, heard those sounds before looking inside, then the smile disappeared from his face.

The first thing he saw was a back. A smooth and silky back adorned with well-defined muscles. The reason it glistened under the light was that it was drenched in sweat.

The curve from the back down to the waist was distinct. Beads of sweat trickled down along that curve.

The head only revealed the nape, right ear, and part of the right cheek of the face, which looked very similar to the person Christoph was searching for, but it might not be. Without seeing the full face, it was impossible to be sure.

Christoph stood frozen in place, staring at that person.

From the shoulders to the neck, ear, and part of the exposed cheek, all were flushed red. He was swaying his body, seemingly trying to suppress moans, but occasionally a sound resembling a groan escaped, as if he couldn’t hold it in.

The area below the waist was obscured and not clearly visible. However, occasionally, when he twisted his waist and shook roughly, even the upper part of his butt crack was exposed.

The man was probably naked, sitting on someone’s hips with his back turned.

And the person he was sitting on was facing diagonally toward Christoph, so that person’s face was clearly visible.

Rick. Ilay Riegrow.

He was the colleague they had worked with before. Someone who, until recently, they still occasionally worked with when the opportunity arose.

Now, he was in that room.

Although Rick’s lower half was hidden, at least the upper half still had some clothing. The shirt with its buttons open all the way to the chest clung faintly to his body, damp with sweat. And right below, the guy sitting on his hips obscured Rick’s crotch.

Christoph watched them with a blank expression.

Even though the lower half was hidden, from the bare waist and the exposed skin every time the body shook, along with the bare knees of the guy sitting on Rick, it all clearly indicated the situation they were in.

That was when.

Rick suddenly looked in this direction. His eyes met Christoph’s.

Rick raised an eyebrow slightly. Even though he was caught in the act, he didn’t show a hint of embarrassment. Instead, he looked slightly surprised and stared.

But then Rick smiled. He looked at Christoph with a smile full of implication—or perhaps triumph.

Rick wrapped his arms around the back of the man sitting on his hips. He pulled the man closer and slowly licked the tip of his ear. It was as if he was deliberately showing that Rick’s tongue clearly slid from the earlobe down to the cheek and then the man’s neck.

When Rick gently bit the lower part of the man’s ear and the upper part of his nape, the man let out a high-pitched moan. His shoulders twitched, and the nape of his neck turned even redder.

Rick laughed loudly. He looked at the man with happiness. Very tenderly.

For Christoph, it was the first time seeing that expression – and perhaps it was for most people as well – that soft and gentle expression on Rick’s face as he gazed at that man, kissed him, and caressed him.

Then, at an unexpected moment, as the man’s body trembled continuously, shaking more and more violently, Rick whispered into his ear. His voice was high enough for Christoph to hear.

“—Taei. Cry.”

And as soon as Rick said that, he lifted his hips and thrust himself upward.

At the same time, the man who had his back turned toward them actually cried out as Rick had commanded.

The sound that escaped, unable to be suppressed, was more like a sob than a moan. A choked cry of ecstasy.

“Ilay. —……Ilay. ……F-feels so good…….G-good…… Feels so good. —……Ilay.”

While panting, the man called Rick’s name – the name not everyone was allowed to call. Then he wrapped his arms around Rick’s neck and rested his head on Rick’s shoulder.

As the brief yet intense climax subsided, leaving only their labored breathing, Christoph, who stood there as if turned to stone, once again locked eyes with Rick.

Rick looked at Christoph and squinted as he smiled. Christoph clearly understood the meaning behind that happy and proud smile.

Christoph turned away.

He didn’t know how he made his way back to his room.

When he came to his senses, he found himself standing in the middle of the room. He wasn’t even sure how long he had been standing like that.

He shivered and suddenly pulled his hands back. He looked down and realized he was holding a large box. The pretty ribbon tied around it had come loose on one side, ruining its appearance.

At that moment, as he looked at the box—

“―……!!”

Suddenly, he felt something unbearable.

Not just something moving within his mind.

Christoph threw the box onto the floor. Then, right before his eyes, he grabbed a glass object that had come into his line of sight and smashed it against the table. And then he even shattered the next thing he saw.