Perhaps everyone has their own body temperature.

Jeong Taeui had thought this at some point. It was a thought that flashed briefly and then disappeared, something he had forgotten for a long time. But now that thought resurfaced.

There was a hand gently caressing his cheek.

He immediately recognized whose hand it was, thanks to the warmth he felt.

Ah…… it’s Ilay.

In the hazy fog of sleep, he vaguely thought so. His body, which had been stiff for a moment, suddenly remembered that familiar warmth and relaxed again.

His temperature was unmistakable. Ilay’s temperature was always recognizable, whether it was after he soaked in hot water or brushed off snow from his car with bare hands.

It was different from normal temperatures. Sometimes his hands were cold, sometimes they were warm. But there was always something unchanging about it. That’s how Jeong Taeui could recognize him.

The feel of his hands was the same.

Whether he was pressing hard, gently massaging, or just lightly brushing by, Taeui could always tell it was his hand.

So Jeong Taeui didn’t need to open his eyes.

No, in fact, he didn’t want to open his eyes. He was incredibly tired and sleepy. He was exhausted as if his mind had completely shut down, so he didn’t want to move even a finger.

‘Taei…… are you dead?’

See, it’s definitely him.

Even without hearing the whisper, Jeong Taeui knew that only Ilay could say such a dreadful thing to someone who was sleeping.

‘—I’m not dead yet.’

Taeui grumbled irritably. Even though he was too tired to lift his eyelids, he had to respond. Otherwise, Ilay might seriously think he was dead and go ahead and bury him.

A soft laugh suddenly rang out.

Then the hand touching his cheek pulled away, replaced by another warmth. It was a pair of slightly rough lips.

The lips slowly brushed across Taeui’s cheek and moved to his lips.

A tongue gently licked at his gums, signaling for him to open his mouth.

‘—So sleepy.’

Jeong Taeui frowned and muttered. But as soon as he opened his mouth to speak, the tongue slipped in quickly.

‘—I’m tired. I want to sleep. Let’s do this later.’

Though he was so tired that he didn’t want to move even a finger, he turned his head away in the end. But he stubbornly kept his eyes tightly shut, knowing that if he opened them, he would have to get up.

‘Go back to sleep, it’s okay.’

The lips pressed against his whispered.

Jeong Taeui could only grumble in frustration, but in the end, he sighed deeply.

‘—I’m really tired…… Do you even know how exhausted I’ve been today? You have no idea what’s happened since this morning…… My whole body is worn out, and my mind is completely drained……’

‘Yeah, yeah, go back to sleep.’

Though Taeui continued to complain, the lips never stopped. On the contrary, the person seemed to find it amusing and let out a low chuckle, their breath brushing against his mouth.

‘—I’m really going to sleep, okay? If you start teasing me with lines like “I wonder if you could open your eyes” like you used to, I’ll be mad.’

The other person laughed again. ‘Yeah, sleep, rest up; you’ve had a long day.’ – They whispered gently, kissing his lips.

……Could this be someone else, not him? How could his voice be so gentle? It was a voice so gentle and sweet that Jeong Taeui rarely heard it.

But the voice was comforting. So Taeui exhaled in contentment and softly sucked on the tongue sliding into his mouth.

The moving tongue stopped abruptly.

Though he found it strange, the wave of sleepiness surged over him like a tide, and his consciousness began to drift away, just like the ebb and flow of the tide.

Like a light turning on and off in a brief instant, Jeong Taeui suddenly thought: What’s happening?

He felt something licking his stomach and waist. Judging by the coolness on his skin, his clothes must have been removed at some point. It was obvious who had done it.

‘—What is this…… Can’t I just sleep? Huh?’

He grumbled irritably. The hand stroking his thigh touched his bare skin, indicating that he wasn’t wearing any clothes. It seemed he wasn’t wearing anything at all.

‘It’s okay, go to sleep.’

The voice whispered near his stomach and gradually lowered. ‘Uh uh.’ – As Jeong Taeui furrowed his brow, wondering, something soft and wet took him into its mouth.

Uhm…… When he moaned softly, the gentle voice spoke again.

As Taeui grew more irritated, the gentle voice reassured him to relax and sleep peacefully, entrusting everything to that person. After a moment’s hesitation, Taeui decided to follow the advice.

Just as the person had said, a pleasant sensation began to spread. It wasn’t the suffocating and anxious feeling he had vaguely feared, but rather a feeling of floating in warm water. Slowly, warmly, and pleasantly.

In the dreamy haze of sleep, he floated near the surface, then sank deep below, his consciousness rising and falling like the tide.

‘—So nice…….’

Jeong Taeui muttered, and the man below him chuckled softly.

How long has it been? It didn’t seem like too long.

As his body floated and swayed in the pleasant waves, he gradually approached the light shimmering on the surface. Bit by bit, the speed of his approach increased until the light suddenly touched his eyes.

‘—Aaaah……!!’

A breath escaped him. At the same time, something surged from below, bringing a wave of pleasure. His body trembled instinctively and arched multiple times as the sensation exploded.

With that movement, the light that had been near and far suddenly became distant again. Only after that, in the peaceful silence, did Taeui suddenly think:

‘—…… Could it be…… no way……’

As he murmured each word, a low voice responded.

‘Tastes good.’

‘—Uh…… did you swallow it?’

‘Yes.’

That tone, as if it was no big deal, made him feel the person move as he stood up. Taeui frowned, thinking: ‘Why did you swallow it?’ but before he could say anything, the person kissed him again.

‘Wait a minute, you swallowed it and then kissed me again, even though it’s mine…… No, it’s precisely because it’s mine that I don’t like it.’ – Jeong Taeui frowned in displeasure. But despite that, the person continued kissing him multiple times.

‘Did you like it?’

It seemed he hadn’t heard Jeong Taeui’s protest, so he asked again. Taeui grumbled a few words in his mouth but then relaxed and responded: ‘Yes, it was comfortable.’

‘Really? Then this time, it’s my turn to enjoy it.’

‘—…… Saying that now seems a bit unreasonable, but I’m still so sleepy……’

‘Just sleep. I already told you, just go to sleep.’

Those lips kissed his eyelids lightly before pulling away.

For a moment, he intended to try and sit up, but the feeling of fatigue weighed heavily on him. As soon as his body was released, the sleepiness grew even more intense.

‘—Alright, sorry, but I’ll go back to sleep. I’ll pay you back when I wake up.’

After saying that, Jeong Taeui took a deep breath.

A hand touched him, accompanied by a soft laugh. That hand guided Taeui’s down to a sensitive area of the person’s body.

Soon, a thick and hot flesh met his hand. It was unusually warm, heavy, and limp, but as Jeong Taeui’s fingers wrapped around and squeezed it, it began to stir.

The strong pulse in the palm of his hand grew faster. The large hand covering his began to move together.

That hot shaft quickly hardened and stood erect. Moreover, it swelled to the point where it couldn’t be fully held in one hand.

No matter what, it was too large to grasp with one hand…… But perhaps he could hold it all since the person’s hands were also big. Even in his drowsy state, Jeong Taeui clearly felt the massive size in his hand.

Finally, when it had hardened to its limit and was nearing climax, the person suddenly let go of Jeong Taeui’s hand. There was a rustling sound. Even in his sleepiness, Jeong Taeui wondered what was happening, and the person gently removed Taeui’s hand. Right after, there was the sound of something being lightly torn.

Ah, a condom.

……A condom? But why use a condom for this?

As Jeong Taeui was still puzzled, the person lifted his legs and spread them wide, positioning himself between them.

‘—I…… I…… just want to sleep……’

Still half asleep, Taeui whined like he was about to cry, and the person leaned down over him and whispered.

‘It’s okay. Just relax and take it easy. I’ll be gentle.’

‘—Couldn’t you wait until next time……?’

‘No.’

‘—……’

‘Not today, Taei. Today I absolutely need to feel that you’re really here…… Today, I thought my heart had stopped beating.’

Their chests pressed together. His breath brushed past Taeui’s ear as the hot flesh pressed tightly against him below. Even in his drowsy state, he felt suffocated.

‘I never realized my heart was so weak.’

Perhaps because his body was sinking into sleep, thankfully, even though he felt a bit suffocated, it wasn’t to the point of being painful or uncomfortable enough to wake him up.

Taeui swayed slightly, breathing heavily, and gently pulled his hips back. He moved lightly so that his body could accommodate him more comfortably.

‘—Yes. Your heart is never weak. It’s very strong.’

‘That’s right. But I thought it was about to shatter. I thought I might lose consciousness because it was breaking apart to the point of passing out.’

His voice grew deeper and huskier. The hand gripping Jeong Taeui’s waist tightened, and Taeui winced, letting out a groan, causing him to loosen his grip immediately.

‘—Hmm…… but look, you’re still fine. Everything’s okay.’

As soon as he said that, Taeui regretted it a little. The man’s erection, resting inside him, began moving slowly, probing deeper into his body. Taeui realized he might not be as “fine” as he had just claimed. Perhaps he should have said, ‘If you move too forcefully, I won’t be able to handle it and might just die.’

But it was too late to regret it now, and more importantly, this time the man was moving much more slowly and carefully than usual, so Taeui decided to stay silent.

Before long, the inside of his body became wet. He could feel the moisture seeping out, allowing the hard flesh inside him to move more easily.

His body was now truly accustomed to this man. A sigh escaped him, but he didn’t feel any discomfort.

Hearing the man continuously call his name in a deep, warm voice – ‘Taei, Taei’ – Jeong Taeui clung tightly to him.

Even the rhythm of his body, trembling in sync with the man as he climaxed inside him, now felt as comfortable as a gently swaying cradle or the soft lapping of waves.

And when those vibrations ceased, Jeong Taeui couldn’t resist following the powerful rhythm within himself one more time, letting the surge of emotions flood and overwhelm him.

****************

As soon as he opened his eyes, the wall clock came into view. It was just past five in the morning. Outside the window, it was still dimly dark.

This was the room where he had lived for many years, so familiar yet feeling strangely alien after being away for just a few weeks.

Perhaps after another day, he would be accustomed again and forget these thoughts, but he had to admit that human feelings are indeed difficult to understand and full of intrigue.

Jeong Taeui looked around the room while still groggy from sleep, clearly feeling that he was indeed back in his own room in Berlin.

“…………Oh dear…………”

Jeong Taeui grimaced. Just as he opened his eyes and began to regain consciousness, the headache he thought he had forgotten suddenly surged.

His head throbbed painfully. The situation was still bearable, but the sensation of oil flowing in his head instead of blood was extremely uncomfortable.

He knew that sleeping pills available on the market also caused nausea and headaches, let alone injecting drugs directly into the body. He just hoped that they would be the type without side effects.

While gently patting his head, Jeong Taeui had to sigh once more: “Ouch……” once again.

Not just his head, but his lower back also throbbed painfully. Perhaps due to sleeping in the wrong position, he felt stiff.

“Um……?…… I had such a hard time in Dresden. Maybe when people relax, that’s when illnesses really strike……”

Jeong Taeui mumbled as he got out of bed. Just as he stepped out, his back throbbed again, but he did not find it too difficult to walk normally.

“What’s this…… at this age, still having such strange dreams…… how embarrassing, it seems even the body follows the dreams……”

Jeong Taeui scratched his head while scanning the empty bedroom and accidentally touched his groin area. Nothing unusual. He wondered if he was experiencing nocturnal emissions at his age, but it seemed not.

He didn’t remember clearly, just vaguely remembered, but had a dream too embarrassing to recount. Perhaps it was because he had slept in this bed many times or because he had thought of Ilay before falling asleep.

“Come on, Jeong Taeui…… don’t let your mind wander, focus.”

Jeong Taeui shook his head vigorously and opened the door.

Although he had only slept for a few hours, he still felt quite alert. Although his head buzzed from the headache due to just waking up and it seemed like his lower back was also a bit painful, he still felt he could endure it.

Having just returned after a long absence, Taeui thought he should spend some time observing the house, and he stepped into the living room. Just as he opened the door, he paused.

He thought Kyle was sleeping, but Kyle was sitting there.

“Oh……” – Jeong Taeui hesitated as Kyle looked up from the newspaper on the sofa.

“Up early, huh? Go back to sleep. You must have only slept a few hours, right?”

Kyle said while looking at the clock with a surprisingly alert face even though he was the one Jeong Taeui had disturbed in the middle of the previous night.

Oh dear, Kyle actually doesn’t sleep much. He usually gets up early to exercise and arrange his work for the new day before starting the day.

“I just woke up from a nap so I feel refreshed. Any interesting news?”

Jeong Taeui asked instead of greeting and looked at the newspaper being flipped in the other person’s hand and sat down in front of him. Kyle flipped the last page of the newspaper and shook his head.

“Fortunately, there’s no significant news yet. It seems nothing has happened yet – or he hasn’t been reported—.”

“…………”

Kyle’s answer wasn’t what Jeong Taeui expected. But through that, he could see the complex hardships in Kyle’s stormy life as a brother to Ilay.

Jeong Taeui scratched his head and mumbled: “Right……”

Thinking back, just at yesterday’s scene alone, there were a few dead. If those with broken necks didn’t come back to life, then there would be at least four people according to Jeong Taeui’s vague memory. What happened after that, no one knows.

“There must have been some intervention before the news was released…… or not, depending on the opponent.”

Jeong Taeui pondered, recalling the time he was introduced in the media as a terrorist, and mumbled sadly.

Yes, since then, he had been confined within the fences of this house…… he thought somewhat exaggeratedly and looked out the living room window, suddenly startled.

In the dim dawn, a man was standing outside in the garden.

It was Christoph. He was sitting under a banyan tree that Peter had lovingly cared for last night, looking this way in a dazed manner.

He was completely dazed, paying no attention to anything, and suddenly, when his gaze met another’s, Taeui was startled and involuntarily swallowed, causing Kyle to look back in surprise. After seeing Christoph, Kyle turned his head this way and said – “Ah.”

“The boy woke up earlier than me. When I stepped out, he was already sitting alone on the sofa in the dark. I was also startled to see something moving in the dark……”

“It seems like he didn’t sleep much……” – Kyle added while Taeui and Christoph looked at each other as if in a staring contest.

Christoph wasn’t exactly looking at Taeui but seemed to be just directing his gaze this way. Christoph tilted his head in confusion. Jeong Taeui smiled lightly and waved gently.

“He must be tired…… Since he started helping Richard, he has been busy every day. Perhaps he can’t sleep when he changes his sleeping place.”

“Haizz still sensitive as ever.” – Kyle muttered and picked up a newspaper from another news outlet. One might think that having to read up to seven newspapers every morning would be difficult, but Kyle seemed to not take much time and still read smoothly.

Jeong Taeui suddenly turned his head to look at Kyle. Although his face was normal, the expression of dissatisfaction with a slight frown as he glanced at Christoph and then back at the newspaper. Taeui smiled lightly.

“But you still like Christoph.”

“What me?!”

Kyle’s eyes widened, and he shouted. But then seeing Taeui’s wide grin to the point of curving his eyes, Kyle sighed.

“Beautiful.”

“………” – Taeui fell silent.

“Why?”

“Just a bit surprised.”

Jeong Taeui shook his head. Ah, such a surprising reason. Throughout the years living with Kyle, he had never expressed likes or dislikes about others’ appearances. He could say someone is beautiful, but he had never said he liked them because they were beautiful.

“Really? Actually, no one knows, right? If you look closely, Christoph is also beautiful.”

Not sure if just a glance would tell that he is beautiful, but Kyle still added, seemingly trying to defend Christoph in front of a perplexed Taeui.

“He doesn’t know how to speak indirectly and sometimes is blunt with everyone, so at times he might make others uncomfortable, but if you just look, his simple mind indeed makes him look beautiful. It’s really easy to read his thoughts.”

Only after hearing this did Jeong Taeui finally find it reasonable. He wondered if he was weak in German, but it seemed like the man was just using language unusually.

“Is it like a younger brother much younger than me?”

“Exactly!” – Kyle nodded. Then it seemed like he suddenly thought of something and sighed.

“Such younger brothers eventually only give you a headache, whether it’s a blood brother or Christoph……”

Jeong Taeui laughed loudly.

“But it seems you still love Christoph more than the aloof Richard—a person who doesn’t give you a headache.”

“Oh no. Richard is also beautiful. I like him too. But he doesn’t make me worry. I don’t even feel restless. As a result, I probably worry about Christina more…… Although my busy life almost doesn’t allow me to notice. But isn’t that too obvious?”

Kyle took off his glasses and asked Jeong Taeui discreetly. He hoped it wasn’t too obvious. Jeong Taeui shook his head.

“Not really obvious. But I just feel it.”

Although not entirely clear, sometimes he still felt it from the empathetic gaze or the subtle tone. Kyle seemed like a big brother worriedly watching his younger brother walk on a shaky path.

“Is that so…… But I also like Taei. He’s beautiful too.”

Jeong Taeui was instantly surprised by the praise he had never heard before and suddenly felt like he was eating honey. But then he smiled shyly and said: “I like you too.”

Kyle truly loved everyone. He not only liked people in the literal sense but also had a sincere affection for each person around him discreetly. He wasn’t too friendly with kind people but was always ready to help those who needed his help.

A person who always lived a happy life. That’s why Jeong Taeui liked him. Although it felt completely different from Jeong Jaeui, now he was like a big brother to Jeong Taeui.

It seemed unknown that the confessions were overflowing as Christoph stood up from behind the glass looking at Taeui and Kyle chatting happily.

“Having fun?”

Christoph stepped in and plopped down next to Jeong Taeui with an unhappy face. He then picked a grape from the small fruit basket on the table and put it in his mouth.

“Um. Kyle said he likes me and said I’m beautiful.”

Jeong Taeui chuckled and pointed to himself. Christoph chewed the grape in his mouth and then glanced at them both strangely.

“…….Really?……. Does Rick know?”

Christoph’s blunt tone carried a bit of vague worry as if he had just discovered a big secret that shouldn’t be known. He lowered his head and stared at the grapes seriously.

……Aha, so this is what’s called ‘beautiful.’

Jeong Taeui laughed loudly. “I’m not sure.” – He whispered, and Christoph cautiously asked again.

“Do you like that?”

“Um——maybe I also like Kyle. Yes.”

Jeong Taeui said with a smile in his eyes, and Christoph was still silent. But then he suddenly mumbled.

“But why not me?”

“……Huh?”

“Even if it’s not Rick, if it’s okay to like, then why not me? Why Kyle?”

Christoph’s gaze became sharp and fierce; suddenly, he stared at Kyle. Kyle’s eyes also widened.

“Look at that why am I— or rather, you—.”

This time Kyle looked at both with a very skeptical gaze.

Strange. How did it start as a joke and not end with a joke?

Jeong Taeui licked his lips and waved his hands.

“No, no. I like you too. Just like I like Kyle. It’s completely different from liking Ilay. Oh?”

As Jeong Taeui spoke, Christoph watched him intently for a while, then finally seemed to understand – but still not very happy – he mumbled “Um” and nodded.

Kyle rested his chin on his hand and frowned as he looked closely at Christoph and Taeui from every nook and cranny on their faces, then shrugged.

“Um, okay. Anyway, this isn’t a good topic to discuss for a long time. This joke, if dragged on, will become either awkward or boring. One of the two.”

Taeui shrugged and nodded. As he tried to change the topic as usual, a short silence passed.

“Do people usually say such words when they are close to each other?”

Christoph asked with a puzzled face, and Kyle looked at him with slightly furrowed eyebrows as if trying to remember.

“No, actually, if they are close, they seldom say that. For example, in a family, people usually don’t say such words. Right?”

“It’s roughly like that, I guess. I also seldom say such words to my brother.”

Jeong Taeui also recalled memories while speaking. He couldn’t remember much about the long times living with those considered family. But even when thinking about friends and colleagues from school days, saying ‘I like you.’ wasn’t a common thing.

“Yeah, that’s why it’s easy to cause misunderstandings.”

Jeong Taeui smiled and shrugged. The words just now were just a joke, not because of the subject but because the way of conveying the meaning of the sentence could easily be misunderstood, leading to chaotic situations he had witnessed a few times. It was one of the most easily miscommunicated sentences.

Suddenly Christoph’s gaze met Taeui’s.

It was unclear what Christoph was thinking; his blue eyes didn’t blink as he looked at Taeui. It seemed like something flashed in those eyes.

Finally, he seemed to want to join the conversation and whispered: “Right, I’ve never said those words to my family.”

It seemed obvious. The carefree words blurted out.

The smile on Taeui’s face faded momentarily.

He wanted to say that it wasn’t like that, not like that, but he couldn’t utter it.

It wasn’t that those words were never to be said. People don’t say them because they assume they are understood without being heard. If they can’t be felt without saying, then those are the words that need to be said.

When Jeong Taeui suddenly fell silent, Christoph looked at him in surprise. Jeong Taeui awkwardly replied vaguely: “Well, uh……”

“By the way, a few days ago, when talking on the phone with Chang-in, the conversation about your brother was mentioned. They asked for your phone number.”

At that moment, Kyle naturally changed the topic of the conversation.

“Ah…… yes. There was a phone call.”

Jeong Taeui followed the new thread of the topic. However, a corner of his heart still ached. Perhaps because Christoph seemed too normal, the emotions became even more complex.

“Alright. They said they are coming to Germany soon. Do you plan to meet?”

“Ah. No. I’ll just stay in Berlin. With a situation like this, it seems difficult to meet……”

Jeong Taeui hesitated after pausing, and at the same time, Kyle looked at him while his mouth stiffened for a few seconds.

“……might not meet. Because he wants to meet. As you know, things related to my brother always happen contrary to my wishes.”

Jeong Taeui smiled bitterly.

Perhaps by now, his brother had forgotten the desire to meet Taeui. Or had given up on that intention and decided to meet next time. If so, they might not meet this time but next time.

But in reality, whether to meet his brother or not doesn’t matter. The current situation is already like this.

“There’s a forum in Frankfurt at this time…… The omens seem unusual; I wonder if your brother is okay.”

To be precise, it’s not that the forum is happening at a dangerous time, but danger has appeared precisely when the forum is happening, but Taeui slowly shook his head.