Looking back, Jeong Taeui had never dated anyone, not even once.

He had experienced feelings of excitement when facing someone, but before he realized his emotions, that person had disappeared. He had many experiences in bed, but it was hard to call it love.

There was a young man who was his bed partner for a while – the same one involved in that knife fight – but their relationship wasn’t romantic, so Jeong Taeui couldn’t understand the young man’s actions afterward. He realized he could only have such relationships without progressing any further.

After that, he never met anyone he wanted to protect for life, and besides, he had no time because military life was already enough trouble.

So, this current feeling was strange. But not bad at all. Even unrequited feelings felt good. Seeing someone that made him feel comfortable was a pleasant experience.

“Sorry…..”

Jeong Taeui said as he entered a room with four men inside. Three were in charge of logistics, and one was the deputy minister.

When Jeong Taeui saw the Vice Director he had met on his first day, he straightened his clothes and stood at attention by the door. Perhaps the man had just finished his work, he nodded slightly and walked past Jeong Taeui out of the room.

Rudolph Gentil. He was his uncle’s direct superior.

Jeong Taeui didn’t know much about him, having only exchanged brief greetings once. But from what he had heard, he was a gentle yet formidable character.

He guessed that Gentil might be someone cheerful on the outside but difficult to read on the inside. But all those assumptions were very vague.

In any case, it didn’t concern him much. He only needed to focus on staying alive for the next six months, so whoever had a dark heart didn’t matter.

“Taei-hyung? What brings you here?….. and what happened to your shirt?”

Jeong Taeui had been staring at the deputy minister’s back but turned around when he heard a familiar voice.

Xinlu, sitting near the window, seemed slightly surprised to see his appearance.

“Huh? Oh, my shirt got torn during training. I came to get a new one, is that alright?”

Jeong Taeui smiled awkwardly and touched his torn shirt.

“Of course, it’s alright.”

Xinlu responded and went into the room inside the office, returning with a new set of clothes.

“Thanks. What should I do with this one? Should I take it off and give it to you, or just throw it away?”

“Hmm….. It’s pretty badly torn, so it’s hard to fix. You can just throw it away….. Are you hurt anywhere?”

“Getting hurt is a daily occurrence. It’s nothing. Thanks for worrying.”

Jeong Taeui smiled awkwardly. Xinlu also smiled lightly and whispered.

“Please be careful.”

Xinlu, the youngest here, had been extremely shocked to see him in the bathroom that day. But after meeting and talking a few times, he seemed to have lowered his guard, often calling Jeong Taeui as ‘Hyung’ and being friendly.

“…..”

From his position, Jeong Taeui could see the top of Xinlu’s head. He was touching the torn part of Jeong Taeui’s shirt, checking if it could be repaired. The faint scent of soap made him want to touch it.

Jeong Taeui’s fingers trembled as he debated whether to touch that hair. But he quickly dropped his hand when Xinlu looked up. If his uncle saw him like this, he would surely click his tongue and call him unmanly.

“You’ve worked hard today. I hope you get used to this place soon.”

Xinlu said with a smile. Only then did Jeong Taeui realize the sun was setting. When he turned his head outside, orange-red clouds drifted across the vast sky. Being underground all the time, he had no sense of time unless he checked a clock.

“The sky is beautiful.”

Jeong Taeui mumbled in awe. It wasn’t just because he hadn’t seen the sky for a long time, but also because the blend of red and blue was truly beautiful.

“There are often snakes out there, right?”

“Pardon? Yes. The evenings are beautiful. But it’s a bit dangerous in the forest, though it’s fine by the beach.”

“Hmm….. Do you want to go for a walk?”

“…..Now?”

Xinlu asked, looking confused. Jeong Taeui smiled and nodded. Internally, he marveled.

Turns out he had the courage to ask someone out normally if he put his mind to it. It meant he wasn’t just a blushing turtle. After all, he was famous in many gay bars….. no, that wasn’t something to be proud of, so forget it.

Jeong Taeui was only proud of his bravery, but his face was already bright red.

Xinlu stared at him with a strange look, seemingly holding back laughter. Seeing that expression, Jeong Taeui felt a bit uneasy, but thankfully, Xinlu didn’t look annoyed.

“…..uh….. don’t you like it?”

“Rather than disliking it….. I’m not done with my work yet. You can go alone, the breeze feels nice.”

Xinlu smiled and shook his head. Jeong Taeui felt a bit disappointed but tried not to show it. He mumbled – “That’s fine too.”

He intended to go for a walk alone but lost the will due to his disappointment. Asking for something, hoping, then feeling let down—people were such capricious creatures.

“Alright, work hard then. See you later. Good luck.”

“Yes, Taei-hyung….. ah, wait!”

Xinlu seemed hesitant for a moment before calling out again. Jeong Taeui stopped at the door, about to leave, and turned back, puzzled – “What is it?”

Xinlu smiled awkwardly at him.

“Tomorrow or the day after, let’s go together. I know a beautiful place where people rarely go.”

“Huh?….. really?”

“Yes. If you’re okay with it…..”

“Of course, that’s great….. yeah, let’s do that. Anytime. After training, I don’t have anything to do.”

Jeong Taeui nodded, feeling both surprised and pleased by this sudden event. He touched the useless pager provided by the branch subconsciously and added, ‘You can contact me anytime.’

“Yes.”

Xinlu replied with a bright smile and returned to his desk. Alone in the hallway, Jeong Taeui stared blankly where Xinlu had stood, then clenched his fist in silence.

See, it was worth trying. If not today or tomorrow, then the day after would be a chance to be alone together.

Jeong Taeui couldn’t stop grinning. His mood lifted quickly. He wanted to go outside with this good mood but decided to wait for the time to go out with Xinlu.

Jeong Taeui hummed and moved to the elevator, shaking his head while waiting for it to come up from the 5th floor.

It was still training time, so he had to return to the training room. But he didn’t feel like going back there with his good mood.

“…..At times like this, it’s best to roll around in a room full of food and books to read…..”

Jeong Taeui mumbled and turned back before the elevator arrived, heading down the stairs.

His destination was his uncle’s room = a place with lots of food + books to read.

Jeong Taeui twirled the key hanging from his finger and walked cheerfully.

His uncle’s room was on the first basement floor. As usual, he didn’t encounter anyone; it was extremely quiet. If a murder happened here, it would take a long time for someone to discover it….. well, maybe not. Surveillance cameras were installed everywhere.

Jeong Taeui looked at the cameras mounted on the corners, pointing toward his uncle’s room. Before entering, he looked up at the camera and politely knocked on the door.

It was more a formality, not really necessary. If his uncle was inside, the door would be unlocked; if not, it would be locked. Moreover, his uncle probably noticed someone approaching the moment he turned the corner.

Jeong Taeui knocked a few times and tried the handle. Finding it locked, he raised an eyebrow and took out a key from his pocket. It was the key he had just received with his uncle’s consent. His uncle had happily told him to come and read books whenever he wanted.

The room was as tidy as ever. Although it had everything necessary, it didn’t feel inhabited at all.

“Even Uncle has a side like this…..”

The room was spotlessly clean. Whenever his uncle wasn’t here, it felt like a model room, uninhabited. It felt like a hidden corner of his uncle’s personality. Jeong Taeui sighed.

He casually opened the fridge, grabbed a can of beer, chugged it, and threw himself on the perfectly smooth bed. After rolling around on the bed that had no human scent, he lay down and reached for a book within arm’s length on the shelf.

He came here daily out of habit when he had nothing to do, lying down and reading books. Every day, reading a few dozen pages leisurely.

Looking at the bookshelf filled with rare books, Jeong Taeui thought his brother Jaeui would love it. But maybe Jaeui had already read this much.

His lucky brother had no reason for him to worry, but Jeong Taeui still wondered what he was doing now and where he was. Had he returned home, or was he locked in a library or a research institute somewhere, continuously reading or working without rest?

Yesterday, Jeong Taeui tried calling home to check, but no one answered. Even though it was midnight, if Jaeui didn’t pick up, he was likely somewhere else.

Suddenly, the image of Jaeui using his finger to cut a red thread flashed in his memory.

Although he didn’t think Jaeui hated him enough to want to sever all ties, how should he put it? At that moment, his feelings were strange.

Jeong Jaeui was very lucky, so he could get anything he wanted easily. Even if he pretended to sever their relationship, it might actually be severed.

“I don’t like that….. I don’t feel anything.”

Jeong Taeui lay face down on the bed, spread his arms, and looked at his pinky finger, searching for a trace of an invisible red thread he had mentioned was tied there. But could Jaeui really cut it?

Jeong Taeui wiggled his pinky a few times as if checking whether the other end of the invisible thread moved.

Suddenly, a mechanical sound echoed in the quiet room. It was a familiar sound he had heard before. When he turned his head, the phone was flashing red.

“…..”

Jeong Taeui stared at the phone, which continued to blink and emit a mechanical sound, pondering whether it was okay to answer someone else’s call. In reality, it didn’t matter if he didn’t answer, but the phone kept ringing insistently, making him feel he had to do something.

Jeong Taeui got out of bed, looked at the number displayed on the phone screen. If it was for his uncle, he had no idea whose number it was, but he still looked at the unfamiliar number.

It was an international call. If the number started with 49….. wasn’t that Germany’s country code? He wasn’t sure.

While he was still thinking, the call ended. Jeong Taeui returned to the bed, picked up the book, and used it to cover his face, thinking about his brother again. When Jaeui slept, he often did this. Jeong Taeui once asked if it wasn’t heavy, but Jaeui replied that a book of a few hundred pages couldn’t be that heavy. Jeong Taeui had been amazed that Jaeui’s face was still intact despite often falling asleep with something like that on it.

In retrospect, Jeong Taeui wasn’t much like his brother. Even though they were twins, they didn’t seem to have anything in common. From appearance to personality, even luck.

“…..Even so, my face is still more handsome. Even if other things can’t compare.”

In fact, their appearances were so different that it couldn’t be said who was more handsome or less.

Jeong Taeui pulled the book down a bit and turned around. Although he couldn’t see it lying down, there was a large mirror next to the table. Jeong Taeui got up, approached the mirror, and peered closely at his reflection. A young man with a calm face was reflected in the mirror. Even though he hadn’t lived half his life, he looked very tired.

Jeong Taeui stroked his face while looking in the mirror. It felt like touching winter snow. From his eyes to his nose and mouth. Almost at the same time, another mechanical sound rang out. It was still the same number as before.

Not letting the other side wait too long, he quickly answered. If he ignored a persistent call like that, they would call back soon enough.

“Yes, hello.”

When he pressed the flashing red button, the liquid crystal screen above lit up. There was nothing reflected there except a white shirt. He only caught a glimpse of a photo frame corner at the edge of the screen. But he couldn’t tell what was in it because the screen was too small.

[“Haha. It’s the nephew answering again.”]

It seemed like he had heard this voice somewhere before. Then a pair of hands appeared in front of the screen. If it was those hands, he remembered them clearly. They were so beautiful they were unforgettable.