PS: Vol 1 – Chapter 19

Vol 1 – Chapter 19: The third phone call Jeong Taeui closed the bathroom door and approached the desk. He glanced at the mirror and saw his reflection. It was spectacular. His entire body was flushed red, like an innocent boy going through puberty. “You need to manage yourself better, Jeong Taeui. You’ve barely been…


Vol 1 – Chapter 19: The third phone call

Jeong Taeui closed the bathroom door and approached the desk. He glanced at the mirror and saw his reflection. It was spectacular. His entire body was flushed red, like an innocent boy going through puberty.

“You need to manage yourself better, Jeong Taeui. You’ve barely been out of the military, and you’re already letting yourself go like this. This isn’t the kind of place where you can just lose your head so easily.”

Jeong Taeui muttered to himself, lightly slapping his cheeks twice. Seeing the familiar number displayed on the screen, he thought for a moment and then pressed the blinking light.

“Hello.”

“——I don’t understand why it’s always you who answers the phone these days.”

Jeong Taeui recognized the familiar number and, sure enough, the elegant and beautiful hand appeared on the screen.

Suddenly, he remembered Xinlu’s hand. Xinlu’s hand was smaller and cuter than this hand, with delicate fingers. It was completely different from this hand that seemed meticulously crafted from beeswax and glass.

How would it feel to touch this hand? It must be different from Xinlu’s warm hand.

Jeong Taeui smiled bitterly as he thought of Xinlu.

“Let’s see. I should be the one asking that. How often do you contact my uncle that every time I come here, you’re calling?”

“To be precise, you’re always there whenever I call, Taei. But I’ve only been contacting him more frequently recently. I hardly ever called before.”

“Why? Did my uncle urge you to send Laurent Gastilet’s book as soon as possible?”

Jeong Taeui pulled up a chair and sat down, smiling helplessly. But thinking about it, this man wasn’t just a used book broker. Or maybe that was his side job too.

“Haha, if it’s that book, I’ve already sent it. I sent it by sea, so it should arrive before the end of the month.”

Ilay laughed. Although his voice had been filtered through a modulator, it was still pleasant and made Jeong Taeui feel comfortable. His heated head seemed to cool down a bit. The refreshing feeling was pleasant.

He had hesitated about answering this call, but it seemed he made the right decision. This man brought a refreshing and invigorating vibe.

Jeong Taeui brushed his drooping hair and smiled vaguely. That sounded nice. If that book arrives, he would come and read it first. Jeong Taeui told himself lazily.

A moment of silence passed over the phone. Fingers tapped on the desk as if in thought.

“Taei. Did something happen?”

The deep voice spoke up. It could have been irritating, but surprisingly, it didn’t bother him. Instead, it made him want to talk more.

“Do I look like something happened?”

“Your face says it all—it’s flushed red.”

“………”

Jeong Taeui roughly rubbed his face with the back of his hand. He had just cooled down a bit, and now his face was all red again.

“Your expression looks complicated. Stuck in a simple world limited to an island. What’s there to be so troubled about?”

“….Ilay. If it were you
.”

Jeong Taeui dragged out his words. He hesitated because he felt like he was forcing someone he didn’t know well to listen to his drunken rambling. But the words had already left his lips.

“Have you ever been in a sexually immoral situation?”

Jeong Taeui asked seriously. A short silence passed over the phone. Then the man responded in a calm voice as if it were a topic he hadn’t considered.

“I don’t know what you mean by ‘sexually immoral situations’. What specific case are you referring to? If it’s immoral relationships, let’s see, do you mean incest? Or relations with someone who is married? Or sexual assault and rape, or other human taboos
.? From a conservative viewpoint, it could also be a same-sex relationship. There are so many things; I don’t know which one you’re referring to. Choose one.”

“…..Well
.. If I have to choose one of those, it’s not something that morally depraved.”

Jeong Taeui replied, listening to the words about the dark side of humanity flowing out without a hitch. Hearing those words made him feel a bit relieved. After all, he hadn’t thought of anything beyond those taboos. Although one of them was an exception.

“Morally depraved?”

Ilay seemed to be laughing. Then he added,

“Because I clearly distinguish between needs and emotions, there have probably been many times when things went against sexual morals as you want to say. So I’m very curious to know what kind of sexual immorality you’re referring to today.”

“……..”

“What’s the matter? Did someone attack you and then leave?”

“……..,……..”

Why did this man think so extremely? Not only extremely, but he also said strange things in a strange way that Jeong Taeui had never thought of.

Jeong Taeui sighed deeply.

“I don’t think there’s anyone blind enough to do that to me. No, it’s nothing big
. How should I put it, it sounds ridiculous, but when the boy I like touched me, I got excited like an immature teenager and got an erection
.”

Not knowing what to say next, Jeong Taeui hesitated for a moment. The other end of the line fell silent. The tapping fingers stopped and then continued tapping rhythmically on the desk.

“Why did that happen
” Ilay muttered, then as if understanding something, the man said “Aha”.

“So you harassed that person? You must regret it?”

Again, Ilay uttered strange things with strange thoughts.

Jeong Taeui looked at the screen with a bewildered face and sighed.

“No, it’s not like that. It wasn’t like we were on the bed or in a romantic atmosphere. We were just drinking tea and talking normally, and I got excited by someone who doesn’t have feelings for me.”

“Hmm
.?”

The fingers tapped lightly on the desk. Jeong Taeui watched the movement of those fingers intently. Perhaps he understood roughly what Jeong Taeui meant. He responded,

“I’m not sure. I can’t understand what you’re thinking
 It’s confusing because I’ve never experienced such shame. Anyway, that kind of feeling doesn’t help life. If it were me, I’d rather just do it at that moment. Instead of being dissatisfied with my needs and whining with a flushed face.”

Jeong Taeui frowned. He touched his cheek to see if it was still hot. Indeed, drinking beer was pointless.

“Do it at that moment
 What about the other person’s feelings?”

Ilay didn’t respond as if he were thinking about something. Jeong Taeui realized this man had his own answer but deliberately didn’t say it. After a while, the man spoke.

“If I want to, I’ll sleep with that person first. Emotions are temporary, so I think it’s not worth worrying about so much. Or I should say, I don’t think temporary needs are inferior to long-term emotions—if there really is such a thing.”

“Are you a hedonist?”

“You could say that.”

He replied cheerfully. Jeong Taeui also nodded. Although he couldn’t agree with the man’s thinking, he could understand what he was saying. Jeong Taeui wasn’t one to ignore satisfying temporary desires. But even so, this man’s way of thinking was different in some way.

Jeong Taeui smiled and rubbed his nape.

Besides having different thoughts, conversations flowing without any obstacles like this weren’t bad. Talking to this man always made him feel comfortable and interesting that way.

Suddenly Ilay laughed as if he thought of something interesting.

“Every time I talk to you, I think about this. You really are very different from Jeong Jaei.”

“He’s completely different from me. Are you still talking to me and looking for my brother’s image in me?”

“It’s not like that, but I still think about you being Jeong Jaei’s brother.”

Jeong Taeui sighed and laughed. Could it be that this man approached him only because of his genius brother? No, but it was hard to say he had approached him. Fairly speaking, he was more interested in Jeong Taeui because he was Jeong Jaei’s brother.

He was past the age of worrying about that. And anyway, it had become part of his life, so now there was nothing worth worrying about anymore.

“You seem very interested in my brother.”

When Jeong Taeui responded meaningfully, the man laughed casually and replied calmly,

“Who isn’t interested in the genius Jeong Jaei? At least no one around me is.”

“Haha, right. So how do you compare those differences?”

“Hmm? Compare
? I’ve never compared, but let me think
 It’s clear without thinking much.”

“Haha, so how are we different?”

“Jeong Jaei is more ‘human’ in many ways.”

Jeong Taeui was speechless. Most of what he said was in a direction Jeong Taeui didn’t expect, and this time it surprised him. Those were words he had never heard before—and had never thought of.

In many ways, Jeong Jaei was more human than him.


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