PS: Vol 1 – Chapter 36

Vol 1 – Chapter 36: The Deep-Rooted Fear His uncle continued to speak. Taeui returned to silence. His uncle spoke calmly, without any signs of deception on his face. When their eyes met, his uncle smiled slightly, indicating that everything he said was the truth – though not everything had been revealed. “…….Yes, that’s right.…


Vol 1 – Chapter 36: The Deep-Rooted Fear

His uncle continued to speak. Taeui returned to silence. His uncle spoke calmly, without any signs of deception on his face. When their eyes met, his uncle smiled slightly, indicating that everything he said was the truth – though not everything had been revealed.

“…….Yes, that’s right. I don’t know why someone like him is present at the UNHRDO branch, but life is full of unpredictable events.”

Or rather, it was impossible to understand the complexities of that man’s family within the UNHRDO.

Taeui shrugged. In reality, even if his uncle had told him earlier, nothing would have changed. Perhaps it would have only added to some vague prejudices. Or worse, he might have mistakenly believed that the man named Riegrow was merely Ilay, the one he had only seen through a screen.

Jeong Taeui scratched his head.

“Alright. I’ll be leaving now. But……. I probably won’t have much time to read, so by the time I finish, the training will have long ended.”

“Yeah……. Alright. But that’s a book I haven’t read yet, so don’t hold onto it for too long.”

“You said to take my time with it.”

“I wasn’t referring to that particular book. I just said you could read it first if you wanted.”

“Seriously……. You mentioned there were plenty of other books to read.” – Taeui muttered as he walked toward the door.

He sighed internally, thinking: ‘Oh man, tomorrow is the precious weekend, and I don’t even get a break—I still have to go through the training. And they say it’s going to be grueling training……. I wonder what it’ll be like this time.’ As he opened the door to leave, his uncle suddenly called out from behind.

“Taeui.”

“Yes?”

Jeong Taeui turned back, his hand still gripping the doorknob. His uncle looked at him with a meaningful expression. It wasn’t the face of an instructor, but rather that of a genuine uncle.

“Who he is or what he does doesn’t matter. If you ever thought Ilay and Riegrow were two different people, then perhaps the misunderstanding isn’t about Riegrow—it’s about Ilay.”

Taeui silently looked at his uncle. The implication was clear. His uncle was trying to say that the image of Riegrow, whom he had met in person, was closer to the reality than the casual conversations he had had with Ilay through a screen.

Taeui remained quiet for a moment before chuckling softly and shaking his head.

“No, Uncle. I never really understood Ilay.”

‘From the moment he showed me those hands, I knew he was an unpredictable mystery.’ – Jeong Taeui thought to himself, raising both hands in front of him. His uncle smiled faintly.

“Alright, go on. Don’t let anyone catch you.”

“Yeah—but that’s probably easier said than done. This place is crawling with surveillance cameras everywhere.”

“…….Right, I forgot about that. You might end up copying another ten volumes of regulations.”

Jeong Taeui grimaced. His uncle, with a look of sympathy, added: “How could you let yourself get caught on camera? Be more careful next time.” But what was done was done.

As for Riegrow, Jeong Taeui knew almost nothing about him. Aside from the fact that he was extremely dangerous and someone to avoid, he didn’t know much about Ilay either. All he had were a handful of phone conversations – so few, in fact, that they could be counted on one hand. Although Jeong Taeui had a better-than-average ability to read people’s expressions from brief conversations, it was impossible to evaluate someone through a few phone calls or without having met in person.

Still, like many people he had only spoken to briefly, Taeui had a vague impression of Ilay – a fleeting image of a person, if you could even call it that. Someone who, when they spoke, could make you feel heavy-hearted at times but occasionally brought laughter and, other times, left you feeling cold as if doused with ice water.

Now that he thought about it, some of that had proven to be true. In reality, how much did he really know about either of them?

Jeong Taeui walked down the hallway, not caring whether the surveillance cameras caught his image. He rubbed his neck and bitterly smirked.

“Damn it. This is such a scam—a total scam. How can such beautiful hands belong to someone like him?”

Those hands were so beautiful that he couldn’t take his eyes off them. Even when he saw them bare, without gloves, by the sea, his feelings hadn’t changed. In fact, they looked even more exquisite than when he had seen them through a screen.

But Taeui knew all too well. He knew that those hands could easily form a fist and strike him without hesitation – and that they could just as easily end his life whenever they wanted.

He had realized that during their last conversation. No matter how many times they talked, even hundreds of times, that man would never see him as anything more than a stranger.

Yes, when you think about it, Ilay and Riegrow really were the same person.

“Total scam……. Even when he said those hands didn’t suit me, I still wanted to cut them off and attach them to myself. They’re too beautiful to be wasted on someone like him.”

However, considering his neat, clean face, those hands were a perfect match for his appearance. But the problem wasn’t with his hands or his face. The problem was his personality. HIS PERSONALITY.

Jeong Taeui abruptly slowed his pace. The events of the morning flashed through his mind. This morning, that man had died. The one with the crossbow who had aimed at Ilay the previous night.

Ilay had told him that he would deal with the man after returning to Europe. And sure enough, he had kept his word. That was, until the man attacked again.

When the march had ended, and they returned to the building in the morning, everyone, having just finished breakfast, had to immediately jump into their morning duties without a moment’s rest. They cursed and grumbled as they shouldered their gear and made their way inside.

Jeong Taeui muttered: “They really know how to drain people to the last drop!” as he picked up his luggage again. At that moment, he spotted someone and murmured: “Huh?”

In the midst of the large, rough-looking men from the European branch, a young man caught his eye—though not exactly small, he was slightly more petite compared to the average man. Something about him felt familiar……. Why was that? Jeong Taeui looked closely and suddenly realized.

It was the person he had seen the night before. Although he hadn’t seen him clearly, he remembered his face from the scuffle with Ilay. The sharp jawline looked familiar, so he looked again……. and sure enough, it was the same guy.

Jeong Taeui awkwardly cleared his throat for no reason. He hadn’t looked directly at the man nor had he witnessed the uncomfortable scene from the night before, but he still felt a bit embarrassed.

“So, that’s Ilay’s type, huh. A body smaller than average with delicate, soft features.”

Jeong Taeui’s mood sank. He recalled the way Ilay had looked at Xinlu, and a wave of uneasiness washed over him. He knew he had to be careful, but he didn’t know how. He couldn’t just fold Xinlu up and tuck him into his pocket, and if Xinlu truly decided to leave, there wouldn’t be anything he could do to stop him.

Ilay was undoubtedly a dangerous man, capable of making others feel like their lives were on the line, yet he possessed an undeniable charm that was hard to resist. Jeong Taeui had clearly felt that the night before.

Suddenly, a sharp pain stabbed at his chest, and his mood darkened further. He couldn’t help but think: ‘If Ilay really did pursue Xinlu, could I stop him?’ The very thought weighed heavily on him, making him feel anything but at ease.

While Jeong Taeui was lost in his gloomy thoughts, something unexpected happened.

Right before everyone’s eyes, the man – his head still bandaged and covered in dried blood – suddenly lunged at Ilay. The blade in his hand gleamed with a cold, blue light, aimed directly at Ilay’s side, as he charged forward with terrifying speed.

Taeui had been standing just a few steps away from Ilay, lost in thought, with his luggage slung over his shoulder. And then he saw it.

The long, sharp knife was just inches away from cutting into Ilay’s side.

Ilay turned around. He glanced briefly at the attacker, then shifted his gaze to Taeui. It lasted only a split second. A moment so brief it was hard to tell if they had truly made eye contact, but Ilay gave a faint smile.

‘See? This isn’t my fault—I had no other choice.’ That smile seemed to say it all. And in the very next moment, Ilay slashed the desperate, reckless man. Without hesitation, he used the very knife the man had been carrying to slice across his neck.

The blade cut deep, almost halfway through the man’s neck, tearing it open. Blood sprayed out like a fountain, a crimson rain. Ilay stood there, letting the blood shower over him, before casually tossing the knife to the ground like a discarded item. He wiped the blood from his eyelids with the back of his hand. The area around his eyes was the only part of his face that remained untouched by blood.

Jeong Taeui stood frozen in place, dumbfounded by the scene unfolding before him. The whole event had taken place just a few meters away. A few drops of blood had splattered onto his cheek and collar.

No one in the crowd said a word. All of them simply stared at the man slowly collapsing in a pool of his own blood, while Ilay looked down at the corpse with indifference.

Ilay lifted his head. His gaze met Jeong Taeui’s once again, and it was just a fleeting glance, almost accidental. Jeong Taeui looked down at the body of the dead man and muttered softly:

“Another case of ‘self-defense,’ huh?”

Ilay surely understood the sarcasm laced in Taeui’s words, and he most definitely heard the comment clearly, yet he only responded with a slight, dismissive smirk.

Jeong Taeui wiped the blood from his cheek with his thumb and continued walking.

As he passed Ilay and entered the building, it wasn’t long before he heard the voice of an instructor coming from behind, stern and awkward, reminding Ilay:

“According to the rules, we can’t hold you accountable for this, but if this keeps happening, we won’t be able to turn a blind eye. If it happens again, we’ll have to take action.”

It was a warning that even Jeong Taeui knew no one really paid attention to—and it was certain Ilay didn’t care either.

Jeong Taeui rubbed his arms, his skin prickling with goosebumps. Even though the building’s air conditioning system was top-notch, recalling the scene from the morning made his stomach churn and sent a chill down his spine.

That was Ilay, and that was Riegrow. A man who didn’t even blink and remained unchanged in such a situation. And that was precisely what bothered Jeong Taeui the most.

“That bastard……. did he come here just because he can kill people without consequence?”

Taeui muttered in irritation. He didn’t want to think that way, but what if Ilay really did have some twisted hobby……. like enjoying killing people…….

“Who’s that, Taei-hyung?”

Jeong Taeui, who had been leaning against the wall, looking down at his feet, suddenly raised his head at the unexpected voice. Just a few steps away, Xinlu stood quietly, watching him. The moment their eyes met, Xinlu smiled sweetly, like cotton candy.

“Oh, Xinlu. How long have you been standing there?”

“I’ve been here since you said, ‘Those hands are too beautiful for him’……. Who has such beautiful hands, hyung?”

Xinlu tilted his head curiously as he asked. Jeong Taeui quickly waved his hands in denial.

“No, no. It’s not important. Not someone you need to be concerned about.”

“Hmm…….”

Xinlu looked at him intently for a moment before smiling brightly and nodding.

“Okay. Whatever it is, don’t worry too much about it. Lately, you haven’t seemed well……. Did you just come back from seeing Instructor Jeong? Getting caught wouldn’t be good.”

Xinlu’s tone was concerning. After all, the floor they were standing on was a place where Jeong Taeui shouldn’t be. But Jeong Taeui had already resigned himself to the fact that he might end up copying ten more volumes of regulations, so he wasn’t afraid anymore. He even thought: ‘If I’ve already been caught on camera once, what’s the harm in being caught a few more times?’

Taeui quietly looked at Xinlu. Just seeing him made him smile.

Xinlu was always beautiful and adorable. Just looking at his pure, innocent face made Taeui’s heart feel lighter. And especially that sweet smile, like melting caramel.

“Xinlu.”

“Yes?”

“…….It’s nothing.”

Jeong Taeui called his name and smiled gently. Xinlu tilted his head in confusion but immediately smiled again, his adorable grin returning. Seeing that smile made Taeui’s heart tighten. Perhaps this was what people meant by the happiness of being in love.

Although he wasn’t sure if he was truly in love, he knew that he liked Xinlu, and Xinlu, in turn, understood his feelings and responded with warmth. Thinking about how they had even shared a kiss—albeit only on the cheek—Jeong Taeui smiled to himself with quiet joy.

“Where are you off to?”

“Oh, I’m just heading back to my room. I’ve just finished work. It took a little longer today because there was so much to do.”

“Is that so……. Well, go get some rest. Take care, and I’ll see you later.”

Taeui patted Xinlu lightly on the shoulder, hiding the regret he felt inside. Xinlu also seemed a bit reluctant, standing in silence for a moment before saying:

“Yes. You take care of yourself too. Don’t forget, we’re going out together once your training ends.”

The way Xinlu half-jokingly, half-seriously said that, with a playful tone, made Taeui’s heart tighten once again. It really did feel like love.

“Yeah. I’ll see you later…….”

Taeui mumbled as he rubbed the corner of his mouth, as if trying to hide the shy smile that was creeping up uncontrollably. But just then, he stopped. The smile completely vanished from his face.

Standing right in front of Jeong Taeui was a man, appearing at the top of the stairs.

Ilay Riegrow.

Taeui felt his face tense up. Xinlu must have noticed as well, because he turned around, looking confused. Ilay, who had just come down the stairs and seen them, paused and directed his gaze at Taeui before shifting his eyes to Xinlu.

“…………..”

“…………..”

A strange silence fell between them. Ilay looked at Xinlu, and Xinlu, in turn, looked at Ilay. Jeong Taeui anxiously glanced back and forth between the two, his gaze darting from one to the other.

Whenever Jeong Taeui thought of Xinlu standing in front of that man, a vague fear would rise within him. It was a fear rooted in instinct—the fear of losing something precious. Just like now.

“…….Taei-hyung, I’m going. Take care.”

Xinlu broke the heavy silence with his gentle voice. He turned his back to Taeui, so Taeui couldn’t see his expression, but there was a hint of subtle caution in his tone. Taeui felt a little relieved by that wariness. At least for now, Xinlu had no interest or curiosity in the man. He was being cautious.

No matter how cautious Xinlu was, though, Taeui knew that Ilay was someone who wouldn’t hesitate to use force to get what he wanted, always acting on his whims. But Xinlu’s vigilance gave him some comfort. Because deep down, Jeong Taeui had always feared that Xinlu might be drawn to Ilay’s strange allure.

“Yeah. See you later.”


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