He thought before opening his eyes.

‘Ah, again.’

It was a feeling Jeong Taeui had experienced a few times before, the prickly sensation on his face now. Sometimes he couldn’t open his eyes immediately because of it.

Jeong Taeui wasn’t usually that sensitive; even if someone stared at him, he wouldn’t immediately sense it and look back. However, it seems that when you sleep, your senses might become more acute instinctively. He had experienced this when he was younger. When Taeui slept lightly, it felt like part of his consciousness was still awake. At those times, even without opening his eyes, he could sense what was happening around him.

Someone was watching him. That person picked up a book from beside him or was arranging clothes. Though he couldn’t hear anything, it seemed like it was happening. These were things he occasionally felt when he slept. Feeling the intense gaze of someone observing him.

Jeong Taeui didn’t take long to know who owned that gaze. Suddenly, he became flustered.

Why is this man looking at him like that?

One can never completely understand another person.

The way people act in front of their parents, siblings, friends, and others varies. And there are some things they never show anyone. There are even things they don’t fully understand about themselves.

So, it’s impossible to say that one can fully understand another person.

And this man was no exception. Understanding him was difficult. No, in reality, no one could fully understand him by just looking at the facets he displayed. Jeong Taeui never imagined that he could nonchalantly do so many things without caring about the consequences.

Like what happened recently, he tried to recall when it happened, but somehow, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t remember, though he thought it really happened.

Who in their right mind would burn down a forest?

He had witnessed him killing people before. So that side of him wasn’t surprising anymore. But his audacity to break the norms with recklessness sometimes shattered the limits of admiration and instilled fear.

…In reality, he was very sober when he burned down the forest.

Though Ilay couldn’t be considered a sane person daily, after spending a long time with him, he understood that side of him. But looking back, sometimes Ilay did incomprehensible things. He couldn’t understand why he acted that way.

One of those things was his gaze.

At night, sometimes Ilay would come to Taeui’s room. There were times he would turn back and chat about various things with him. During those times, he never came as an officer to work. Most of the time, if Taeui thought he was here to do ‘that’ late at night, he was usually right.

Initially, it felt annoying and uncomfortable. But that was all.

In the end, Taeui still did those things with him. In reality, besides being penetrated and Ilay being good at teasing him from behind, in the end, Taeui still felt very comfortable, so he couldn’t complain about anything.

Looking back, besides the time he raped him, Jeong Taeui thought that he had behaved very well given his personality. And those times made him sleep better. Taeui always guarded his desires when Ilay came, but no matter how much he restrained himself, after satisfying those desires, Taeui always felt very comfortable. So that drove him crazy for a while. Moreover, most of the time, Ilay took care of everything from foreplay to the main act. 

********************

Jeong Taeui felt a bit disappointed. If he were less reserved about sex – though he wasn’t conservative now – he still felt quite conservative when facing Ilay. It’s hard to find a man who could do those things well like him, so he liked it and thought it was a good experience.

However, Ilay didn’t see anyone as human. He lay on someone else’s body just to satisfy his own desires. At first, he thought it had nothing to do with conservatism or openness.

Thanks to his skills and being well-satisfied, Jeong Taeui, who was sleepy and in a good mood, would fall asleep immediately. So, at first, he didn’t pay much attention to it.

But then one day.

Whenever Taeui felt someone’s gaze on his face, sometimes he would lift his heavy eyelids and look at the face staring down at him and ask: “What’s wrong?”

Or if he was tired, Taeui would raise his hand and close his eyes and say: “You sleep too” and then drift back to sleep.

Then he would hear a faint laugh and everything would go quiet again. 

When Taeui couldn’t open his eyes because he was too tired and felt like cotton soaked in water; if Ilay disturbed him, he would pretend not to notice and continue to sleep even if he felt his gaze. There was no reason to react to his gaze, and nothing to be wary of since he knew it wasn’t to spark any argument. Then he would wake up in the morning, forget what happened in the middle of the night, and unconsciously think: ‘Oh, I guess he was like that.’

Ilay, during the day, was also someone who often looked directly at others, but that was mainly when he had work or something to say. But at night, when Taeui felt his gaze and asked him: “What’s wrong?”, he never got an answer. There was a time he tried to force open his heavy eyelids to hear a reply even when he was very sleepy, but Ilay would just smile and cover his eyes with his hand like he always did.

“Go back to sleep” – Ilay would softly say.

It would be a lie to say he didn’t mind his gaze, but on the other hand, he had to explain why.

It was awkward to ask, and it would be ridiculous if Ilay said he wasn’t looking at him like that. So he stayed quiet and thought about why someone would stare at another person’s face.

When people dream, they remember dreaming. But when they wake up, they quickly forget what the dream was about. Later, when they sleep again, Jeong Taeui remembers the memories in his dream and wonders why he forgot them during the day.

Just as the memory of a dream and reality are completely separate, his thoughts about Ilay’s gaze felt somewhat similar.

When awake, he knew what he had thought and what had happened, but after returning to reality for a while, he couldn’t remember anything. He couldn’t even recall that he had forgotten something. Similarly, when asleep, he thought Ilay’s gaze was persistent, but when he woke up, the memory disappeared.

“…..”

At this moment, Jeong Taeui was considering whether to open his eyes or not. In a half-awake state, he thought that gaze was on his face again. He pretended to sleep, thinking that he would give up after looking at him like that for a while.

Taeui felt particularly tired and sleepy, so he tried hard but eventually gave up.

He reluctantly opened his eyes and looked at Ilay.

“Aren’t you going to sleep?”

“…..”

When Taeui angrily spoke, Ilay, who was resting his chin and looking at him, blinked and stared at him.

He was startled.

Someone who had been sleeping soundly with steady breaths suddenly opened their eyes and got angry. It was surprising that someone could get angry immediately after waking up.

Ilay looked at him with a pensive face for a moment. However, Taeui’s drowsiness was like a tidal wave; he pretended to look at him and then closed his eyes. In his daze, a thought crossed his mind.

‘Wait, why is Ilay here?’

Oh, thinking back, he was someone who often watched the person next to him while they slept. But knowing that didn’t make it feel natural. Because previously, every time Ilay stared at him, it was when he was still naked after their sessions. But now he was fully dressed – yes, in a plain T-shirt and cotton pants – Ilay was sitting properly on a chair next to the bed.

“…..”

As he was about to fall back into a deep sleep, Jeong Taeui slowly closed his eyes and suddenly remembered the current situation. He suddenly sprang up from the bed.

“THE FIRE!”

Taeui’s face quickly turned pale, and he shouted, grabbing Ilay’s collar. He seemed a bit startled. His expression showed that he was surprised, as if he had heard something nonsensical.

“What fire?”

“You set the fire, that fire! You burned the forest, the birch forest! You filled a leather bag with gasoline, poured it everywhere, and burned everything!”

Jeong Taeui’s expression was ashen, and he shouted frantically. Ilay frowned slightly, looking at him. Jeong Taeui also tilted his head and glared at Ilay as he received a look that seemed to say he was speaking nonsense.

Why did he always look at others like that?

Ilay quietly stared at Taeui with a face that clearly said: “Ridiculous”, then calmly spoke.

“Rather than talking about the fire, do you even know what your current situation is?”

Although Ilay’s face seemed indifferent, Taeui quickly realized the meaning behind his seemingly interesting question. He bit his lip and silently looked at Ilay.

“The state I’m in? What about it?”

Jeong Taeui shrugged, speaking nonchalantly. Ilay looked at him once more with a puzzled expression. Suddenly, he raised his hand and placed it on Taeui’s forehead. After a moment of resting his hand there, he sighed and muttered to himself.

“Kidnapped like an idiot and beaten up. This guy, if you only have a slight fever, it shouldn’t make you unaware of what’s happened. Just sleep more, sleep…”

Ilay clicked his tongue. Jeong Taeui was pushed back onto the bed by his hand. Inside, he felt quite delighted. Taeui guessed he would be stuck with this bed for a while. Looking back, he couldn’t quite distinguish between reality and dreams anymore. His mind was hazy and dizzy, and his body felt somewhat feverish.

Taeui slumped onto the bed, turning to one side, and noticed bandages or something similar on his forehead and temples. Only now did he realize that his elbows, knees, calves, and the places where he was severely injured were neatly bandaged. He couldn’t see his ankle, but he felt it burning hot.

Jeong Taeui closed his eyes and placed his hand on his forehead.

As Ilay had said, he seemed to have a slight fever, but his hands were so hot he couldn’t tell for sure. In reality, his entire injured body was aching and burning. Taeui was feverish, but his head wasn’t hurting, so his mind was relatively clear.

…… Taeui was a smart person, so when Ilay told him to sleep, he chose to obediently lie down and go to sleep.

But thinking about it was frightening, so he also lost sleep. Even if he didn’t intend to sleep anymore, Taeui didn’t want to wake up and face a serious Ilay. So, Taeui decided to close his eyes and pretend to sleep.

Thinking back, given his understanding of him, Ilay was extremely sharp, so he might notice this little trick. But he pretended not to wake Taeui up because he had been kidnapped and returned with a torn-up body.

(Later, thinking back, Jeong Taeui felt a bit resentful because he didn’t like being pitied even if he was kidnapped and returned with scars all over his body. After all, he was a man.)

After closing his eyes and pretending to sleep again, Taeui still felt it, that gaze.

When Ilay stared at his face like that, how could he sleep with his face burning up?

He wanted to, but he didn’t think he could sleep, but perhaps his body’s instincts took over, and he fell asleep again to recover from the injuries.

Anyway, what’s wrong with this man?…

(Considering his resentment towards him, even if he had a body full of injuries and fainted in the emergency room, he should wake up and punch him)

But Jeong Taeui immediately remembered the scene of Ilay pouring gasoline and thinking that he had caused a great flood because he couldn’t find him, and that thought quickly vanished.

So he came to the most reasonable conclusion.

This is a dream.

…—See, it’s just a dream.

Otherwise, why would there be a gentle, tender hand touching his forehead and stroking his hair?

This dream is not good. In the past, he had a vivid dream that felt so real, but it could never happen in reality. But when he had such a dream, the feeling was strange and pleasant.

But dreams like that are indeed not good, because after the dream, there is a sense of disappointment not joy after having it.

Jeong Taeui slightly turned to avoid Ilay’s touch. The hand that was on his forehead for a moment was immediately withdrawn.

*************************

“All these weird dreams…”

Jeong Taeui opened his eyes and mumbled. He was still in a half-awake state, not even realizing he had mumbled aloud.

Taeui had a dream in which a devil smiled sweetly and treated him kindly. Strange, this guy was definitely a devil; look, he had a sharp tail, blood-red hands, but smiled warmly with an unusually friendly face.

Jeong Taeui lay there with strange thoughts for a while before finally opening his eyes. But when he opened his eyes, he quickly realized something. After all, Jeong Taeui knew the answer to those dreams, and he knew what the dream was trying to reveal. That is, if you get deceived by the devil’s appearance and temporary kindness, later on, when they stab you in the back, it will hurt incredibly. At that time, trying to complain is useless because the devil didn’t even bother wearing a mask from the beginning and let the world know he was a devil. So it’s the fault of those who deceived themselves from the start.

It was a dream with a very clear theme: You should not be deceived by the devil’s appearance and short-lived kindness.

Jeong Taeui stared blankly at the ceiling.

Why did he dream like that? The dream was sad. It brought back memories (only possible in dreams) that he didn’t want to remember much.

Taeui sighed softly, closed his eyes, and remembered a person he didn’t want to recall. Someone who brought a bitter, indescribable feeling.

“…wait…”

Suddenly, Jeong Taeui opened his eyes. The moment he thought of that person, the memories he didn’t want to recall flooded back. It was a memory from the recent past, very recent.

“Aha..—”

Those black eyes stood behind the rock, two steps away, looking at him. The moment their eyes met, those sharp eyes… Jeong Taeui had seen them in the very recent past.

“……!”

‘Unbelievable…’

Taeui’s face turned pale.

‘I’m dead.’

That thought invaded his mind immediately. What was he thinking, imagining himself sleeping on a soft bed like this?

‘Ilay. Ilay Riegrow.’

The image of the calm man standing in the fire appeared in his mind as if it had been imprinted on his retina.

‘This is not a dream. That bizarre man was indeed there. He had cut another man’s throat with a knife and then set the fire.’

‘God…’

Just thinking about it made his heart stop.

His heart beat wildly, then suddenly constricted and stopped. But a few seconds later, it started pounding like crazy.

Damn. He had sworn never to be caught, at least like this.

Jeong Taeui clutched his chest, his mind filled with frustration. At the same time, his brave past replayed in a panoramic view.

‘What should I do? How should I handle this situation? Stay put or escape before being caught…;’

Alright, he didn’t need any luggage anyway. Even with his battered body, he could stand on the window and jump, and his entire body would fall freely…

At that moment, as Jeong Taeui was about to stand up, something vibrated beside him.

Jeong Taeui soon realized the presence of another person in the room. He turned back, bewildered. And at that moment, his wildly beating heart suddenly stopped again.

Ilay.

How long had he been there!