Perhaps he vaguely realized it.

Jeong Taeui had been aware of it even before leaving UNHRDO.

Thinking back, even when Xinlu used that beautiful face to say something harsh, while it made him angry, it neither shocked nor disgusted him. Such things didn’t affect his feelings for Xinlu. Neither better nor worse. Xinlu remained the same.

The only thing that surprised Jeong Taeui was that he had thought the cute face from back then was Xinlu’s true face. But now, the face before him was no longer the one Jeong Taeui was familiar with. The slightly gaunt face reminded him of Xinlu’s once bright and adorable smile, but now it contained unsettling and dangerous undertones. Behind that beautiful face was a masculine and rugged one.

It was a mistake, Jeong Taeui thought.

Besides that, what he couldn’t account for was Xinlu’s obsession, which was much greater than he had anticipated. He had thought Xinlu would look for or chase after him, but he hadn’t expected this kind of reaction.

“…….”

The situation was difficult, with no way to move forward or retreat. Truly a dilemma.

One option was to accept becoming the prey of a fox.

Or become the prey caught between a fierce tiger and the abyss ahead.

Tiger, fox, and abyss. How did things come to this? Jeong Taeui couldn’t choose either of the two options.

“……——ughhhhh, what the hell, what is this?”

Jeong Taeui stood under the shower, soaking in the cold water, occasionally groaning and ruffling his hair. Watching a clump of hair flow with the water, he thought that if this continued, stress-induced hair loss would come for him sooner or later.

Jeong Taeui took the bar of soap that Ilay had said was ‘newer and more fragrant’ than the one in his room, lathered up, and stared at the wall in front of him. In general, why were the people at UNHRDO all so problematic? All his complicated relationships started there. And he realized that none of those relationships seemed normal.

“I’d rather turn you into a corpse and take you away.”

Jeong Taeui knew Xinlu would do something surprising, but now he realized Xinlu wasn’t normal at all. The more he thought about it, the more it felt like a joke. No, given the situation, it clearly wasn’t a joke.

“Your personality became like this because of UNHRDO. No one goes there and keeps their sanity intact, if they do, they have to get out to regain it.”

Ultimately, because his uncle was an officer, perhaps he saw through it all. Jeong Taeui grumbled and rinsed the soap off. He turned the water to the coldest setting but didn’t feel much cold, probably because of the heat emanating from inside him. Although he had finished showering, Jeong Taeui stood there for a long time, letting his body soak under the cold water and sighing.

“If you want to go, just go. Then you’ll become a corpse in my hands, and I’ll consume everything, not leaving a single drop of blood or a strand of hair.”

As he stepped through the door, Jeong Taeui suddenly remembered what Ilay had said.

One person wanted to take him away even if he were dead.

Another would consume him entirely even if he died.

“No matter where I go, I’ll end up dead….. Isn’t that a bit too much?”

Jeong Taeui sighed and muttered. Saying he had no luck wasn’t wrong; no matter whose hands he fell into, he would end up a cold corpse.

Returning from the beach, Jeong Taeui entered the house and intentionally walked past Ilay standing at the door without acknowledging him. Immediately, Ilay grabbed his arm. Jeong Taeui stopped, clicked his tongue, and turned to meet Ilay’s cold gaze.

“Jeong Taeui. If I wanted you dead, I would have done it already. If I intended to kill you, I would have done so long ago. I let you live, but who is the bastard that wants to touch you? Saying ridiculous things like killing you? You?”

The cold breath and growling of a tiger whispered in his ear. His lips were close to his ear, and his breath tickled Jeong Taeui’s earlobe.

And then, Jeong Taeui realized.

This man was angry.

He didn’t know since when. Was it when he appeared on the beach or when they were talking then?

Since when?

Jeong Taeui quietly looked at him. When was the last time he saw Ilay’s smile and cold eyes?

It didn’t take long; he immediately remembered. It was when Xinlu sprained his wrist, and he went over to check on him. When the sniper hiding somewhere near the forest behind them aimed at him.

“I will not die. Not in his hands….. or yours.”

Jeong Taeui said quietly.

Suddenly, the breath whispering in his ear paused for a moment. His gaze fell on Jeong Taeui’s face.

“Really…..—”

“Only an hour left to send the response to headquarters.”

Gable, standing a distance away, interrupted Ilay, who seemed to be on the verge of saying something to Jeong Taeui, his expression rather strange.

“My job is done, you will have to finish the part you left behind.”

Gable spoke curtly, then looked at his wristwatch. Ilay clicked his tongue.

Thinking back, Ilay had mentioned he had a lot of work today. At the end of the month, the workload at the company nearly doubles. That’s why Jeong Taeui hadn’t seen Ilay all morning, even though he usually went out around that time.

Ilay took a step back. His hand remained on Jeong Taeui’s cheek until he slowly took another step back, then it gradually lowered.

The sensation of his fingertips brushing past his lips before falling away was still very vivid.

Returning to reality, Jeong Taeui unconsciously touched his lips with the back of his hand, then startled, looked up.

Why was he thinking about such crazy things again?! Jeong Taeui felt a strange tingling sensation on his skin. And then he suddenly came to his senses. “Oh.” he muttered, and by the time he fully regained awareness, his skin had turned pale. The skin that had been under the cold shower for a long time had taken on a bluish hue.

It wasn’t until he saw his condition that Jeong Taeui felt the cold and quickly left the bathroom. His legs were so numb that he couldn’t move normally. He nearly slipped on the slick tiles due to the plaster on his casted leg.

Jeong Taeui couldn’t stand properly, so he leaned against the wall and dragged himself out of the bathroom, his body freezing and his joints protesting with cracking noises.

“You need to stay clear-headed and survive, Jeong Taeui. Don’t torment your body. They say if you’re clear-headed, you can survive even in a tiger’s den.”

Jeong Taeui clicked his tongue and muttered.

Even after leaving the bathroom, drying himself with a towel, and putting his clothes back on, his body didn’t stop shivering. It was as if the cold water had soaked into his bones.

“Ugh, so cold…..—Have you really lost your mind? Who in their right mind would soak in cold water until they’re like this?”

Jeong Taeui struggled to step out of the bathroom. He hesitated before stepping his wet feet onto the carpet on the floor.

There was something on the bed that he hadn’t noticed until he stepped out of the bathroom. Jeong Taeui stared at the person who had somehow entered his room and was now lying on his side with the blanket draped over his back, taking up the whole bed.

Ilay Riegrow.

He was lying there with his eyes closed.

Jeong Taeui rubbed the towel over his wet hair and approached him. He got close to the edge of the bed, but Ilay still didn’t open his eyes.

Ilay was so sharp that he could wake up immediately even if he was dozing off, if Jeong Taeui called his name. But Jeong Taeui didn’t bother to call Ilay. Anyway, he hadn’t come here for anything important. Because if it were necessary, he would have opened his eyes the moment Jeong Taeui came out of the bathroom.

Between the cliff and the tiger’s mouth.

He hated both. It seemed like that cliff wasn’t a place he could fall from and survive, and that tiger wasn’t something he could defeat in a fight or even escape from. No matter which he chose, it would be the end of his life.

But if he had to choose.

“……”

Jeong Taeui sat on the bed, silently ruffling his hair and deep in thought.

Which way was the better choice for him? Or, which way would be better for others?

The first choice, a face flashed in his mind, but he immediately erased it because he really had no reason or basis to choose it.

The second choice. Again, he couldn’t find a clear reason or basis. But he could reach a conclusion easily.

One who was once a very kind boy, but after Jeong Taeui met him, the inhumanity hidden within that person now became apparent.

And one who had shown his inhuman nature from the beginning and still remained so, but had become increasingly sophisticated.

Better for the benefit of the world than for the benefit of someone who increasingly lost his humanity when Jeong Taeui was with him.

Jeong Taeui put the towel on his head and quietly turned to look down at the man lying beside him with his eyes closed. In the quiet room, only the sound of his steady breathing remained.

“……Ilay.”

Jeong Taeui whispered his name softly.

Ilay remained silent, not even opening his eyes. As if even the smallest movement had stopped, the entire room was enveloped in stillness.

Jeong Taeui turned back, sitting on the bed. He sat on the edge and reached out to touch Ilay’s hair. The bedsheet beside his head was indented; he wasn’t even using a pillow.

Jeong Taeui’s gaze settled on the face directly in his line of sight. His eyes were closed, and Jeong Taeui scrutinized the still face from different angles, as if trying to catch the slightest flaw.

At that moment, a moment Jeong Taeui didn’t even realize.

“…..Hmmm.”

Jeong Taeui suddenly murmured.

Something touched his lips. The warm, dry, and slightly rough familiar feeling on his lips felt strange. Ilay’s face was very close, and because he was so close, Jeong Taeui couldn’t see clearly.

Jeong Taeui jolted up in surprise. Hmm……….? He groaned inwardly and stared blankly down at the face just inches below him.

That face had now opened its eyes. He looked up at Jeong Taeui, his eyes wide open, not blinking even once. Facing this man, Jeong Taeui couldn’t help but unconsciously murmur “Hmmm” for the third time.

Ilay stared at Jeong Taeui’s face for a moment, then finally spoke. He opened his mouth to say something but then fell silent. And then after a moment, he spoke again.

“Do you casually kiss someone who’s sleeping like that, huh?”

But his usual flat and steady voice was strangely deeper. After speaking, Ilay looked at Jeong Taeui again. His head tilted slightly.

“Is that so……?”

“Huh?”

“I just kissed you, huh?”

Jeong Taeui asked like someone who had lost his mind. Ilay frowned slightly. He didn’t respond but just looked at Jeong Taeui.

Jeong Taeui stood up. Then he sat back down on the bed, staring blankly at Ilay.

“Why would I do that?”

“What?”

Another wrinkle appeared between Ilay’s eyebrows. Jeong Taeui became even more confused.

His memory seemed to have been interrupted for a very brief moment when he looked down at Ilay’s sleeping face. Perhaps it was because he had glanced at Ilay’s lips right then. When he came to his senses, he found his lips were on Ilay’s lips without realizing it.

“…..It seems I’ve finally gone mad.”

Jeong Taeui said seriously. His face hardened in confusion. Ilay raised an eyebrow, observing Taeui’s every move, and his gaze seemed to convey – “This guy must really be crazy.”

“Hey, Jeong Taei. You…..—”

Ilay clicked his tongue and patted the back of Jeong Taeui’s hand, then suddenly raised his eyebrow again.

“Why is your body so cold….. what did you do?”

“Huh? Oh. I took a shower. I showered with cold water.”

Jeong Taeui was still so bewildered that he forgot about the cold. It wasn’t until Ilay mentioned it that he remembered the cold enveloping his entire body. He rubbed his arms. But even then, he felt a sense of loss.

He heard Ilay click his tongue. Ilay sat up, touched his arm, waist, and leg with the back of his hand, then snorted and muttered.

“Your mind is somewhere else, and you ask me if you don’t know what you’re doing. You’ve let your mind drift away with the water, haven’t you? Snap out of it, Jeong Taei.”

The back of his hand had moved to Jeong Taeui’s thigh, then up to gently touch his cheek. Jeong Taeui looked at Ilay with a dazed expression.

Yes. Suddenly his mood dropped, not knowing why he acted like that. Maybe this was the early stage of schizophrenia.

Jeong Taeui couldn’t help but feel depressed thinking about what would happen in the future if this condition worsened.

Feeling the back of the hand on his cheek, Jeong Taeui looked at Ilay. Ilay didn’t take his eyes off him for even a second. It was a gaze as if he was looking at something strange and rare.

“…..Why are you sleeping here?”

Jeong Taeui asked dejectedly. Ilay slowly removed his hand from Jeong Taeui’s cheek and grabbed Taeui’s hand, pulling it to his lips and gently biting the cold, tingling fingertips.

“I just closed my eyes for a moment.”

“I heard from Gable that you have a mountain of work.”

“Um….. I only did what needed to be done and sent the rest back. Someone on sick leave shouldn’t overwork.”

“Sick leave…..”

Jeong Taeui mumbled as he stared at Ilay’s broad shoulders, his tongue brushing from his fingertips to his wrist, the muscles under his thin shirt clearly visible. 

“I’ve been curious for a long time, but who signed off on your sick leave?”

“An officer’s leave requires approval from both the Deputy Minister and the Governor. And Jeong Changin was quite pleased to get the Governor’s endorsement.”

That’s right, looking at it that way, it seemed like there was no one clean left at UNHRDO.

Taeui was stunned and shook his head, then suddenly Ilay pushed his shoulders down onto the bed and lay on top of him. His breath became heavy as Ilay’s large body pressed down on his chest. He had been about to say – “That’s disappointing.” – but closed his mouth instead. Although it was a bit stifling, his frozen body was immediately warmed by Ilay’s presence.

Seeing Jeong Taeui open his mouth as if to complain but then stop, Ilay smiled and placed his lips on Jeong Taeui’s hand. Jeong Taeui thought he could faintly hear him mumble – “Sometimes I have to bathe in cold water myself.”

Jeong Taeui lay on the bed, relaxing and staring at the ceiling. He remembered his embarrassment from a moment ago.

“…..”

His eyes dropped as he felt Ilay’s lips brushing his wrist, and he watched those lips kissing his wrist gently.

His lips were beautiful. Not particularly remarkable, not too thin but not too thick either. But Jeong Taeui had never paid much attention to them. Until this moment.

Suddenly, a frightening thought flashed through his mind. It was terrifying, surely one of the early symptoms when schizophrenia gets worse.

No. No no. It shouldn’t be like this. He needed to control it quickly before it ruined his life.

Jeong Taeui thought darkly and clicked his tongue, whispering to himself – “I definitely have to control it.”

“Ah. I didn’t hear clearly. What?”

Ilay’s lips paused at Jeong Taeui’s elbow and he glanced at him. His sharp eyes briefly scanned Jeong Taeui’s expression before lowering again.

“You said you wanted to meet him, it must have been quite a joy. Did you feel eager to see him after such a long time?”

Hearing those seemingly unrelated words and pondering them for a few seconds, Jeong Taeui finally realized what he was talking about. He felt slightly dizzy and pained as if the initial symptoms of schizophrenia were manifesting.

“Ah….. yes….. right, we met.”

Jeong Taeui nodded, recalling the young man named Xinlu. He was still the same, or perhaps he had completely changed. Jeong Taeui thought for a moment, then smiled bitterly and sighed.

“I didn’t know he would prepare a sniper to kill me.”

“Ahaha, so you pushed me into the sniper’s line of sight?”

A laugh that was both comfortable and mocking rang in his voice. Jeong Taeui remained silent and glanced at Ilay.

Yes, he had done that. When Jeong Taeui looked at Xinlu’s wrist, he simultaneously pulled Ilay, placing him directly in the sniper’s line of sight. Remembering that moment, Jeong Taeui felt a brief calm, but what he worried about now was even more terrifying.

“I had to do that.”

Jeong Taeui muttered a clumsy excuse mixed with a sigh, shrugging. He hadn’t exactly predicted that Xinlu was aiming for his life. Perhaps it was just an instinctive action to avoid potential danger.

“Why? Did you think I wouldn’t die even if I got shot?”

Ilay asked, kissing Jeong Taeui’s body. After thinking for a while, Jeong Taeui responded.

“That, at that time, I acted unconsciously. But thinking about it now, you…..”

Stopping mid-sentence, Jeong Taeui suddenly closed his mouth. Bringing up this topic reminded him of an event from quite a while ago, which wasn’t exactly a pleasant memory. He wasn’t sure if it was an insignificant memory in this situation.

“You slept with Xinlu, so I thought he wouldn’t kill you.”

At that moment, the lips kissing the inside of his arm, moving towards his armpit, suddenly stopped. The smile vanished from Ilay’s face. Jeong Taeui mumbled, as if lost in gloomy thoughts.

Thinking about it. Yes. To put it mildly, Ilay might have a deeper relationship with Xinlu than Jeong Taeui. After all, they had slept together. Besides, wasn’t it natural for them to be at odds? If you interpreted it a bit, it was like Jeong Taeui was accidentally getting in the middle of a fight between these two men.

Jeong Taeui seriously considered whether it was okay for the two of them to continue being entangled because of him and fall into a romantic feud. Then he couldn’t help but exclaim.

“OUCHHH!!!”

Under his armpit, the soft flesh inside his arm was bitten mercilessly.

Tears welled up in his eyes. Reflexively, Jeong Taeui hugged his arm, rubbing his thumb over the bite mark to check, feeling Ilay’s teeth marks clearly, and even a bit of blood.

“Only that one time.”

His deep, husky voice resonated, sliding from Jeong Taeui’s shoulder to his nape. Jeong Taeui, still rubbing his arm, realized that the large body warming his cold frame was pressing down on him even more.

And beneath that, the bulge in his pants had become uncomfortably prominent.

“Just one time.”

“I know, I know. I saw it too.”

“I haven’t touched him since the time you saw….. —No, I haven’t touched anyone else.”

His harsh voice filled Jeong Taeui’s ear. His thick, warm tongue licked up from his chin to his cheek. As if in anger, his fingers dug into Jeong Taeui’s waist and thigh.