“Taei-hyung……?”

Jeong Taeui was silently looking down at his feet, flicking away the ash from his cigarette and taking a drag when he heard Xinlu cautiously calling him from beside him. It was difficult. The night was dark but still light enough to see the face of the person opposite. And Jeong Taeui didn’t know how to respond to the gaze Xinlu had fixed on him.

“Taei-hyung.”

Xinlu called again. Jeong Taeui quietly responded: “Hhmm.”

As expected. It’s impossible.

No matter how much time passes. Jeong Taeui couldn’t be with Xinlu in the way that Xinlu wanted. And he couldn’t ask someone to wait for him in vain like that.

“Xinlu. I’m sorry.”

Jeong Taeui quietly sighed. Xinlu didn’t say a word, just stared at Jeong Taeui in a daze.

Night had fallen, and the time for the night market was drawing near. People were starting to gather little by little.

In front of the castle ruins where they were sitting, people were spreading out their usual goods in their spots, and even on the other side of the fountain in the central square, merchants had begun displaying their goods beautifully. A few customers were already milling around between the newly set up stalls for tonight’s business.

Xinlu had said he wanted to come here to see the market, but even when the time for the market had come and it was bustling with people, Xinlu didn’t glance at it even once. He only looked at Jeong Taeui.

“Hyung, you were the one who liked me first.”

Finally, Xinlu whispered in a voice low enough to blend with the noisy crowd. That quiet, serene voice was tinged with sadness.

Jeong Taeui didn’t respond. Should he apologize? No, that didn’t seem right either. So, he just looked at Xinlu silently.

Then Xinlu sighed quietly. He looked down at his feet for a moment before lifting his head again. The pitiful and miserable expression from before was gone without a trace, leaving only a calm face that could smile at any moment.

“It was too sudden, Hyung. I said that if you said something like that, I wouldn’t hold back any means to take you with me anymore.”

“……”

“I have a lot of time. I have a lot of time. So you don’t need to worry about me.”

Xinlu smiled and stood up from the rock, pretending to dust off his pants.

“So let’s go around and have a look. It seems the market has started. It would be nice if we could find something unusual and interesting. A flea market in a remote part of Africa sounds interesting, doesn’t it?”

“……Yes. It would be great if we could find something good here. Who knows, we might come across something unexpectedly cool.”

Jeong Taeui smiled. Perhaps because his heart felt so heavy, his laughter lacked energy. Xinlu decided to pretend not to notice. Jeong Taeui also decided to act as if nothing was wrong.

“You’ll go ahead and have a look, I’ll finish the cigarette and come over.”

Jeong Taeui held up the cigarette he had just taken out of the pack. He put it in his mouth and lit it.

“Hyung, smoking like that isn’t good for your health…… Alright, I’ll go check out the fountain first, so come quickly, Taei-hyung.”

Maybe Xinlu wanted to wait until Jeong Taeui finished smoking and then go with him. But after thinking for a moment, he changed his mind, smiled, and turned to walk away.

Jeong Taeui silently thanked Xinlu. Just as Xinlu guessed, he wanted to be alone at this moment. In the night breeze, his mind was both clear and chaotic.

“……”

He exhaled a long stream of smoke into the sky. Xinlu had reached the fountain. People were starting to gather, but he wasn’t too worried. After all, he wasn’t someone easily harmed, and he was confident he could find Xinlu even if the crowd doubled or tripled. And even if he couldn’t find Xinlu, Xinlu would find him first.

“Ilay…… Ilay Riegrow. It’s terrible.”

Jeong Taeui let his thoughts drift with the smoke.

He sighed, looking up at the starry sky, and remembered that familiar name.

“If I really like him, then what……”

Jeong Taeui worried.

And then, terrible memories surfaced in his mind. There were so many memories about the man named Ilay Riegrow that he couldn’t count them all on his fingers. They were all scary, unpleasant, or infuriating to recall.

Jeong Taeui simultaneously remembered his face alongside those memories.

“……Ah, right. I’m angry, outraged, and scared. If I stay by his side, I definitely won’t live long. Being with someone as terrifying as him, if I don’t die by lightning, I’ll die by his hand.”

Jeong Taeui muttered. Then he suddenly clamped his mouth shut for a moment. Going home today also worried him about Ilay discovering whom he had met. Jeong Taeui sighed, knowing it was useless to lament his situation now.

‘I can’t do anything about it.’ 

Jeong Taeui thought, flicking the ash off his cigarette. As always, he had no choice but to wait for time to solve everything. He had no other option; there was no other way. Jeong Taeui could only hold his breath and wait for everything to pass.

There had been times when he had experienced this feeling. Situations and moments where even his willpower was powerless. There were times when Jeong Taeui felt like he was struggling to the brink of death but ultimately didn’t die. When that happened, he couldn’t do anything but hold his breath. He could only hold his breath and wait not to be swallowed by what people called ‘time’.

Time passed, and afterward, only fading memories remained.

Jeong Taeui lightly tapped the cigarette filter, letting the ash fall gently. At that moment, the image of Ilay’s pale hands vividly appeared in his mind. Those beautiful white hands often tapped lightly on the table when he was deep in thought. Jeong Taeui smiled, looking at his own hands that were neither white nor smooth.

“Then just stay by his side for a while.”

But Jeong Taeui quietly swallowed those words before his will.

The cigarette was almost down to the filter, just enough for one last puff. After finishing this cigarette, Jeong Taeui thought he would head to the fountain to find Xinlu.

Jeong Taeui held the cigarette in his mouth. The square was bustling with people coming and going. Near the fountain, the sounds of people talking, laughing, and music filled the air. Somewhere in the center of the square, Xinlu was probably there. Although the crowd currently obscured his view, after finishing this cigarette and taking a few steps, he would likely find him.

Jeong Taeui took a long final drag. Until the bright red ember near the filter finally extinguished, he exhaled the smoke slowly.

Jeong Taeui climbed down from the rock and stood up.

He decided to walk around with Xinlu for a while before returning to the homestay. He hoped that Xinlu wouldn’t use every means to drag him away today. Even if he returned to the homestay, he would still face Ilay’s cold, crescent-moon-like terrifying gaze. But he had no other choice.

He had resolved to stay with him for a while, and it seemed like he would have to witness that gaze many more times in the future.

Jeong Taeui smiled. Then he slowly walked to find Xinlu.

“Where could Xinlu be……”

Maybe he had found something interesting in the market? Xinlu might be happy if he discovered something unexpected and fascinating.

Jeong Taeui walked into the crowd and slowly looked around.

There were many people here. The closer he got to the fountain, the denser the crowd became, making it difficult to move without bumping into someone.

People of all ages were there, from the elderly to children who seemed to be still in school. A man with a thick beard and wide eyes, along with a woman with her hair in a high bun, were curiously looking around. Even within Islamic culture, not everyone was the same, so their attire also had subtle differences.

Some women wore simple headscarves, while others covered their entire bodies with Abayas.

The market was bustling with locals, occasional visitors, and tourists who might only visit once and never return. Jeong Taeui leisurely walked among them.

At that moment.

Where was Xinlu? He couldn’t see him anywhere. In this dimly lit place, if he intentionally searched and directed his gaze toward the veiled Muslim women, it would make them uncomfortable.

“……., ……Ah……”

Jeong Taeui tilted his head. His steps slowed down bit by bit.

However, his steps gradually slowed until he stopped completely. Jeong Taeui didn’t know why he had stopped. He just knew he was tilting his head in amazement and frowning.

It seemed like he was troubled by something at that moment.

Jeong Taeui glanced around. The road he had been observing for a while still looked the same. People from all directions were crowding in, walking back and forth, haggling, or browsing.

“……?”

He didn’t know what was strange here, but he felt like something was grabbing his shoulder.

Jeong Taeui curiously looked around and then frowned, scratching his head.

“I didn’t think schizophrenia could worsen to this extent. It shouldn’t be like this.”

Jeong Taeui muttered to himself, groaning, and turned around once more, seeing nothing. There were many people behind him, just as there were in front of him. He tilted his head again and shrugged.

“Let’s find Xinlu quickly and get back to the homestay.”

Jeong Taeui muttered as he walked: “Even if I die, I can’t walk back to the homestay from here.” Then, his shoulder brushed against someone walking by. The man muttered something in an incomprehensible language – either an apology or something rude or something similar – and stepped on Jeong Taeui’s shoelace, causing it to come undone.

Jeong Taeui sighed and stepped out of the crowd, squatting down to tie his shoelace again. He tucked the ends of the laces into his shoes to keep them from coming undone again.

After retying both shoes, Jeong Taeui looked up while brushing the dust off his shoes and noticed a stall a little distance away. It was a stall that people walked past without stopping, selling children’s toys or something similar. It sold trivial items like toy guns and mystery gift boxes.

Jeong Taeui raised an eyebrow and even smiled slightly.

“I miss you, hyung.”

A long time ago, his house had a robot—a very simple mechanical toy robot—that was dented and had chipped paint. But he never expected to see something similar on a remote island in Africa.

Jeong Taeui stood up and walked towards it. Just as he was about to pick up the tin robot among the old toys that he wouldn’t take even if they were given away for free, a man standing next to him fiddling with a hand-sized box signaled to the vendor, indicating he wanted to buy it.

Jeong Taeui glanced at the box the man was holding. He didn’t know what it was, but it looked like a mystery box full of surprises. When the vendor started fiddling with something in the box as if to show him, the man suddenly grabbed it, the lid of the box opened, but nothing popped out. The box was empty.

Jeong Taeui thought that was unusual for a moment. When the man opened the box to see if there was a trigger inside, there was a sound similar to a wrench hitting the floor.

His brother liked things like that. If someone brought something like that for him, he would open it up and play with it all day.

Ever since they were young, he had always been that way. While Jeong Taeui played with the robot normally, Jeong Jaeui would take apart any toy he found a bit unusual. Then he would neatly put them back together, so he wouldn’t get scolded for breaking new toys.

Jeong Taeui glanced at the person playing with the toy standing half a step away from him. To his surprise, the person he had only seen from behind was a woman. She was wrapped in a head-to-toe veil, including a face cover.

The woman seemed unable to speak and gestured to the vendor to see how much the toy cost. The vendor responded, and the woman held up three fingers. Then she took money out of her chest pocket and handed it to the vendor. The vendor smiled and said, “Thank you, thank you!” in broken English. Watching the vendor’s beaming smile, Jeong Taeui thought – ‘That’s a rip-off.’

It wasn’t that she couldn’t speak; it seemed she simply didn’t understand what the vendor was saying. As she left the stall, she replied to the vendor in a low voice, “You’re welcome,” and then blended into the crowd ahead.

Jeong Taeui bent down to examine the tin robot behind the woman: ‘This one’s rusty, but the parts still work fine. But there’s something odd.’ – he thought idly, and then, in a moment, he froze.

“……uh…… uh?”

Jeong Taeui looked up. Everywhere, there were people. He quickly put the robot down and stood on tiptoe, scanning the area.

He could see the back of a gray chador* cloak dozens of steps away.

Without thinking, he rushed forward.

****************************

(*Chador is a full-body-length semicircle of fabric that is open down the front. The garment is pulled over the head, and is held closed at the front by the wearer)