It hurt.

I couldn’t even hold on to my consciousness properly.

I must not lose consciousness. I must not let go of my awareness. Despite my own voice shouting that in a corner of my mind and echoing in my ears, my flickering awareness was too hazy to grasp my surroundings.

My head burned. The fiery pain that started from my eyes spread to my head and then throughout my entire body.

The undeniable reality that my body, parts of my body, was writhing in agony and dying.

Even as I wandered in the haze of semi-consciousness, unable to fully hold onto my senses, this realization came to me with a vivid clarity that sent shivers down my spine: ‘I am dying.’

No. No.

I had to find the source of the pain and tear it out before it completely died?? Or, worse, before its death spread to the rest of my body. Even if it was agonizing enough to make me want to die, the source would linger like poison and eventually kill my entire being.

Where does it hurt?

Everywhere.

But surely, there must be one place. The place that hurts the most. The place that is choking me.

With a sliver of consciousness, I scanned my arms, legs, and damaged internal organs, but eventually, I reached for my head. The fiery searing pain was starting there. That place. The place that was dying and screaming.

My eyes.

I grabbed my eyes. I wanted to rip them out. But someone held my hands that was stopping me from gouging them.

Who’s interfering? Who is preventing me from ending this pain?

A fierce rage flared up within the agony, but even that was short-lived. The pain was too overwhelming to continue resisting.

Eyes. Eyes. They burned unbearably, as if consumed by the flames of hell.

However……

At that moment, I realized something.

Only after identifying the place of greatest pain did I come to understand—the real agony wasn’t there.

Eyes? This sensation of being pierced with fiery skewers? I could endure that. Even if it was excruciating, it wasn’t the kind of pain that would make me lose my mind. I had never been so weak as to let that break me.

The true pain……

It was in my heart.

In my chest. In my head. In my mind. In my reason. In the pride and dignity that formed the foundation of who I was. This agony burrowed into me as if to destroy my very being and struck straight at my heart.

The pride that had stood tall, always looking forward without glancing up or down, and the dignity I had never consciously acknowledged yet had always resided firmly within me, these things that allowed me to exist as myself, were now being trampled mercilessly and mocking me.

The pitch-black flames that burned me even more fiercely than the pain?? The humiliation. That was what was killing me.

*************

The doctor said that if the wound had been any deeper, the eye might have been completely removed.

Yuri finished his conversation with the doctor, who mentioned that at least there wouldn’t be any visible scars but couldn’t give a definitive answer about Xinlu’s vision. After wrapping things up with the doctor and confirming that Ling Xinlu was sound asleep, Yuri headed straight toward James.

“I suppose he intended to gouge his eyeball out. But thankfully, we managed to save it. That eyeball.”

After hearing a few words from the doctor, James quickly grasped Riegrow’s original intent. After a moment of silence, marked by his displeased expression, he concluded: “If Dr. Bayeran said so, it’s better not to expect any chance of recovering vision.” He even concluded and arrived at this final judgment about what lies ahead.

“I guess so, as expected”

Yuri briefly agreed with a nod and then fell silent. No matter how much he ranted or pulled at his hair in frustration, James always maintained a clear and logical grasp of every situation, handling things with calm precision. His judgments were almost always right, and this time would likely be no exception. On top of that, he had a keen eye for detail.

“What’s wrong? You look so down and gloomy.”

Perhaps because of their shared experiences of life and death over a long period, the ups and downs they’ve faced together, James was quite adept at reading Yuri’s expressions, despite Yuri being someone often described as straightforward and indifferent.

“No, it’s just……” – James said as he patted Yuri’s shoulder and shook his head as if he understood. “I know, I know. How could anyone not feel down in this situation?” – James had held back tears as he called the Ling clan’s lawyer a few dozen minutes earlier before reporting the entire situation to Kyle.

This wasn’t the first time Riegrow had trampled on the ‘golden children’ of other powerful families, and it wasn’t an uncommon occurrence. But that didn’t make the situation any easier to resolve. Fortunately, and they were sincerely grateful for this, the matter could be handed over to the lawyers. James shook his head and said:

“Even that young man. He must have lived a life wanting for nothing, but unfortunately ran into a madman and ended up losing his vision permanently. Truly pitiful.”

“But…… it’s not confirmed yet that restoring his vision is impossible.”

James clicked his tongue and gave Yuri a puzzled look when he blurted that out without realizing it.

Yuri was familiar with Dr. Bayeran’s style as well. He always tried to frame things in the most hopeful light, so for him to speak that way meant the chances were almost nonexistent. Moreover, as a renowned authority in the field of ophthalmology, he wasn’t a mere quack in this case.

“……Ah, right. Come to think of it, that boy is Ling Tangyun’s younger brother after all. Let’s hope for some good progress.”

Perhaps interpreting Yuri’s rare response as stemming from greater concern because the person in question was the younger sibling of someone close to him, James added a futile wish.

‘No, it’s not because he’s Ling Tangyun’s brother.’ – Yuri thought. He simply felt genuine pity for Ling Xinlu, not for his connections or relationships, but because Ling Xinlu was Ling Xinlu, a person who deserved compassion in his own right.

‘I should have brought him here sooner. No, better yet, I should have arranged for treatment in Dar es Salaam. Or…… when I got the call from Sana’a, I should have anticipated this and stationed a medical team in Dar es Salaam in advance.’

Yuri knew he had done everything he could, and that he had responded more quickly and appropriately than anyone else could have in the situation. Yet, he couldn’t help but dwell on belated regrets.

After leaving Seringe for Dar es Salaam, he had arranged for emergency care with a local doctor he had contacted in advance. Immediately after that, he had a private jet fly directly to Berlin. Upon landing, they transferred Ling Xinlu straight to the hospital, where a medical team, already alerted and prepared, was waiting. The entire process took only a matter of hours.

Even upon reflection, there was no better way he could have handled it. Yet, his heart was heavy. A sigh escaped him, born from the feeling of helplessness.

“Right. That crazy second of yours called me, saying your phone was off. He’s demanding that you come back immediately and find Jeong Taei.”

“Oh…… now that you mention it, that’s right. He had gone missing.”

Yuri took out his phone from his pocket, surprised that he had completely forgotten about such an important matter until now. However, the battery of his phone that had been left uncharged, was dead and wouldn’t turn on.

“What’s going on? First the older brother, and now the younger one is missing too?”

“We’ve already confirmed that he hasn’t left Seringe. There’s a chance it might be connected to Jeong Jaeui’s whereabouts as well.”

Although the possibility seemed strong, Yuri didn’t feel the need to voice it since it was still just a suspicion.

Considering Riegrow’s personality, he likely wouldn’t dawdle for too long, but there wasn’t an urgent need to rush back immediately either. Measures had already been put in place to thoroughly monitor anyone or anything leaving the island, whether by sea or air. The pathways connecting Baheb to the villa area had also been scrutinized down to the last dead end. Even the smallest activities around the Al Saud villa were being closely observed.

It would take at least a few days for the information Yuri wanted to come through. Besides, amidst the flood of crucial and trivial information that were intertwined with truths and lies, it was Yuri’s role to sift out only the essential clues, piece them together into a coherent theory, and deploy the right people accordingly. So unless it was one of those rare situations that absolutely required his presence, there was no need for him to be on-site himself.

……However, it went without saying that it was preferable to stay close to the field whenever possible. Besides, there was no reason for him to remain here any longer, and if he returned too late, Riegrow would likely try to devour him alive.

Right. The search for Jeong Jaeui had been ongoing for over a year. There was no reason to rush now. The only one who seemed eager at this point was probably Riegrow.

“It seems like Riegrow is really anxious. He knows it’ll take a few days to gather information, but he’s still calling to hurry you up.”

“Don’t even mention it. How many times has he called already? If you turn on your phone now, you’ll see an endless stream of calls from that guy.”

“……Rick seems really anxious.”

Yuri muttered in a strange tone.

It was the first time he’d seen it. He had always thought that a man like Riegrow was entirely devoid of emotions like anxiety or unease. Perhaps even Rick himself had lived until now without realizing such feelings existed within him.

It must be because of that man. The man who made Rick appear like an ordinary person.

“Even the things I thought would never change…… they do change, I guess.”

“Stop it. That just makes it sound like he’s becoming more unhinged. When I spoke to him earlier, he sounded like he was ready to take down half the people around him.”

James groaned, waving his hand dismissively. Then, he glanced at Yuri, paused in thought for a moment before finally speaking. 

“Well, come to think of it, Yuri, your contract technically ended a few days ago. Once this case is wrapped up, the contract officially expires, but since it’s still unresolved, you’ve been stuck here……Would you rather forgo the completion bonus and end the contract now?”

Even though the contract term had technically expired, Yuri was still bound to it until the work he had taken on was completed. James posed the question seriously, was Yuri willing to walk away from this case now?

In reality, at this point, Yuri had already accomplished nearly everything. The only thing left was to confirm definitively that Jeong Jaeui was in Seringe. Someone else could take over from here if necessary.

James was offering to let Yuri conclude the contract now if he wanted, to free him from having to return to Seringe. Yuri looked at James for a moment. Then, he slowly shook his head.

“It’s my responsibility, so I should see it through. There’s no rush anyway. It’s just that one decisive piece keeps slipping away, but it shouldn’t take much longer,” Yuri replied calmly as he replaced the battery in his phone.

Watching Yuri respond with such composure, James shrugged his shoulders.

“Well, if that’s what you’ve decided, then so be it. ……Are you planning to leave today?”

“No, the last flight for today has already departed. I plan to take the first flight tomorrow.” – Yuri replied.

James muttered to himself: “Makes sense, it’s already late”, and picked up the phone.

“Then I’ll book you a hotel. Would you prefer one near the airport or somewhere closer to here?”

“Ah…… no, it’s fine.” – Yuri hesitated briefly before shaking his head. James gave him a puzzled look but set the receiver back down without further comment.

Yuri intended to return to the hospital for now.

After bringing Ling Xinlu to Berlin and completing his surgery, there was no longer any reason for Yuri to stay and watch over him. His job was to ‘find Jeong Jaeui’, and anything beyond that was not his responsibility. Whether Ling Xinlu needed a doctor, a lawyer, or anyone else, there were plenty of specialists here far more capable of assisting him than Yuri.

Thus, it was unlikely that Yuri would cross paths with Ling Xinlu again, except perhaps by some chance encounter. Their connection, already tenuous to begin with, would likely end here.

Yet, because of that, Yuri wanted to ensure Ling Xinlu’s safety for just a little longer. It was a feeling reminiscent of the time he had to leave the young kid he’d rescued from the sea before he had regained consciousness.

Yuri had confirmed that Ling Xinlu had woken up from anesthesia in the recovery room, but the young man quickly fell back asleep, seemingly drifting in and out of consciousness. Yuri wanted to see him fully awake and; if possible, he wanted to stay by Xinlu’s bedside until he left for the airport at dawn tomorrow.

“……”

He felt a twinge of regret for having just declined James’ offer. Perhaps he should have chosen to stay in Berlin instead of returning to Seringe. If he stayed, he could have watched over Ling Xinlu’s recovery—assuming Xinlu remained in this hospital for treatment rather than returning to China.

But Yuri quickly dismissed that regret from his mind. Their connection ended here……, what more was there for him to stay and watch? In fact, he thought it would already be fortunate if Ling Xinlu, upon waking from anesthesia tonight, didn’t outright demand that anyone associated with Riegrow get out of his sight immediately.

As soon as Yuri turned on his phone, a flurry of notifications flooded in, prompting him to tilt his head slightly in curiosity. A few calls from Riegrow, a handful from intermediaries and lower-level informants, and, in between, one call from Ling Tangyun.

Now come to think of it, Yuri hadn’t specifically informed Tangyun about Ling Xinlu’s hospitalization. Of course, given that the Ling clan had already reached out to T&R, Tangyun was likely aware of the situation. Still, he probably wanted to hear the details directly from Yuri.

Yuri decided he would call Tangyun back on his way to the hospital. Just as he began to get up from his seat, the phone rang. Almost as if someone had been watching him, the call came in mere seconds after he turned his phone on. It was the very number of the person he had just been thinking of contacting.

“I was just about to call you, Tangyun”

[“Ah, so your phone is finally on. How have you been?”]

Ling Tangyun’s voice greeted Yuri. It sounded heavy and tired, as if he hadn’t slept in days. Yuri could easily picture the haggard face that likely accompanied the voice.

“I’m doing fine. But, as you probably already know, Ling Xinlu has been seriously injured.”

[“Yes, I’ve heard. I was told you accompanied him to the hospital. Thank you for that.”]

“It’s nothing……More importantly, about Ling Xinlu’s eye.”

[“Yes, I know about that too. I contacted the hospital to check.”]

Tangyun’s voice grew even heavier. Knowing his personality, Yuri guessed he had sought out a realistic prognosis—neither optimistic nor overly pessimistic. And the result, as expected by both James and Yuri, was not encouraging.

Yuri remained silent, unsure how to respond. Ling Tangyun also stayed quiet for a moment before breaking the silence with a sigh, then resumed the conversation.

[“It’s fine. What’s done is done. I’ll deal with Riegrow separately regarding that matter, so you don’t need to worry about it.”]

That was typical of Ling Tangyun. He never indulged in futile emotional battles over events that had already occurred. Whatever conclusion was reached, it would be accompanied by an appropriate price, and that price would be negotiated between the two families. This wasn’t something Yuri had done wrong, nor was it something he should meddle in. He was an outsider after all. With a brief response of – “Understood” – Yuri closed that part of the conversation.

“How is your father holding up? He must be deeply distressed to hear that his beloved youngest son has been seriously injured.”

If it were Ling Huilong, he wouldn’t likely collapse from grief but rather explode in a fiery rage. Still, it was only polite to ask after the health of a man in his seventies. At this, Tangyun let out a deep earth-shaking sigh. A sound laced with anguish.

[“He doesn’t know yet. He’s currently away from home for the time being. Honestly, considering how everyone is avoiding the task of telling him, just like trying to put a bell on a cat, it might actually be for the best. But the problem is, you see, the only person Xinlu even pretends to listen to is Father.”]

Ling Tangyun muttered: [“Not that he listens to me anyway, but in any case, I’m tied up with something I absolutely can’t step away from right now, so I can’t head over there either.”]

[“This is a real dilemma. After what happened to him, with his personality, he’ll probably go crazy as soon as he comes to his senses…… and there’s no one to keep an eye on him to stop him from doing something reckless.”]

“……”

Ah. Something clicked in Yuri’s mind in that moment.

He awkwardly scratched his temple. He was about to say something, but stopped and glanced at James. At that moment, James was reading a sheet of fresh paper that just came in from the fax machine, but seemed to sense Yuri’s gaze, so looked up to meet his eyes.

[“So, Yuri. Could you keep an eye on him? Just for a little while. I’m asking as a favor. It won’t be long…….at most, a month? After that, if necessary, I’ll come myself.”]

“Uh…… is there really no one else you can ask besides me?”

[“There’s no one as reliable as you. Anyone capable enough to handle this is already stuck with tasks they absolutely can’t step away from. Over here, it’s complete chaos, like someone kicked a hornet’s nest.”]

Yuri glanced at James again. After switching his gaze back and forth between the fax and Yuri, James finally turned his entire body toward him, as if saying: ‘If you’ve got something to say, just say it!’

“You know, I’m already handling other work right now.” – Yuri replied cautiously.

[“Of course, I know. That’s why I’m only asking for a short time, right?. Yuri ah~, I’m genuinely worried. Given Father’s personality, he’s probably already raging, ready to sink that entire island over this situation. But imagine if Xinlu gets hurt even more in the meantime. No, I don’t think that’s likely, but still—there’s no guarantee someone won’t try to harm him during this window. Whether it’s an abduction or kidnapping.”]

Harm. The mention of harm made Yuri’s heart sink.

No, rationally speaking, that was unlikely to happen. Even now, James had stationed plenty of security personnel around the hospital room, and Ling Xinlu wasn’t the kind of person who could be easily harmed by some amateur criminal.

Even though he knew all that perfectly well, the image of Ling Xinlu’s pale face under anesthesia flashed through his mind, making his heart race with unease.

When he glanced at James again, James had apparently finished reading the fax, now standing with his arms crossed, and watching Yuri with an amused expression. Being a quick-witted person, he likely had a rough idea of what the conversation was about, even if he didn’t know the details.

One month. Considering the years Yuri had already spent on this job, one more month wouldn’t change much. There was no need to rush – rushing wouldn’t resolve anything anyway – and one month wasn’t such a significant period of time. And yet……

[“Also, this is something the family has been keeping under wraps, but……”]

Suddenly, Ling Tangyun’s voice dropped. The dark tone that mixed with a sigh, hinted at something secretive, and Yuri instinctively pressed the phone closer to his ear.

[“Xinlu…… when he’s unstable, he can be a bit dangerous.”]

“Dangerous……?”

[“Yes. It’s like he loses control over himself. When he reaches an extreme, he doesn’t just harm others……he’s completely indifferent to harming himself too. To be honest, it’s not so much the people who might try to hurt him that are dangerous..it’s Xinlu himself who’s the real threat.”]

Ling Tangyun let out a long sigh, mentioning that in the past, during his most sensitive periods, Xinlu had even resorted to self-harm. Hearing this, Yuri couldn’t find any words to respond. Suddenly, what came to mind was the scene he had witnessed earlier that day.

Despite sustaining injuries severe enough to potentially lose his eyesight, he bit down on his lips until they bled and tore, refusing to utter even a single scream in front of Riegrow. That pale face suppressed pain with sheer willpower. Those swaying eyes were filled with determination, as he knowingly risked harm to himself to point the gun at the man.

It wasn’t about trading flesh for bone. It was about complete disregard for his own body.

“…….”

Yuri scratched his temple.

Ling Tangyun’s words likely contained a touch of exaggeration to draw Yuri in. However, they weren’t outright lies either. Yuri glanced at James again, this time holding his gaze a bit longer. James gestured with his eyes as if to say: ‘Go ahead, say it.’

“James, would it be alright if I stayed here a little longer? Maybe for as long as a month if it comes to that.”

When Yuri asked, James shrugged casually without a second thought, as if to say he didn’t mind. It seemed James had anticipated it.

“Rick will find a way to handle things on this side, so if something urgent comes up, do what you need to do.”

James readily agreed, then shook the fax paper he held between his fingers as he added: “This, right?” The fax he handed over contained a brief statement from the Ling clan: [‘We regret that things have come to this. Further details will be discussed among relatives, and formal communication will follow.’] A postscript requested protection for Ling Xinlu.

“Yes, that’s correct.” – Yuri said with a nod, then gently removing her hand from the receiver. Then, he turned to Ling Tangyun, who had been patiently waiting for his response, and conveyed his agreement.