The pair of pupils both flashed with unease, and sparkled brightly, imprinting deeply into the mind.

The moment their eyes met with that pair of jet-black pupils, Yuri realized that what Xinlu had said to his uncle about his reason still being very much awake was not wrong.

Although his emotions seemed numb and pitch-black, his eyes were coldly and calmly lucid.

However, the moment those eyes saw Yuri……

They started to waver uneasily, and became hazy like a layer of smoke. The pair of jet-black pupils, as if drowning, suddenly gleamed with a flickering black light.

‘Why are you here?’

His lips seemed to move, uttering silent words.

But in reality, no sound came out, and the eyes staring fixedly at Yuri quickly shifted their direction, hiding the wavering light within them.

“…….”

Yuri sat down at the dining table. He looked down at the cup in front of him. The cup that once radiated warmth had now cooled, sitting quietly.

Meanwhile, the sound of water in the bathroom stopped. Yuri turned his head.

The door remained silent for a moment, then opened. Xinlu stepped out from inside.

He was wearing a pure white bathrobe, and even his hair towel was pure white. It was hard to imagine who the person covered in black fatigue from head to toe just a moment ago was.

“I made tea.”

Yuri spoke. Xinlu, who was silently drying his hair at the doorway, glanced at him. He silently approached the dining table, then sat down opposite Yuri, where the cup was placed. Then he stared intently at the cup of cooled tea, just the right temperature for him to drink—he who wasn’t used to drinking hot beverages.

Yuri silently drank his tea. Sip after sip moistened his throat, though he drank slowly until the cup was empty, Xinlu still hadn’t touched his lips.

“The tea’s cold, I’ll make you another cup.”

Yuri intended to stand up, conveniently pouring himself another cup, so he held both his and Xinlu’s empty cups in his hands.

Just as Yuri was about to leave, Xinlu suddenly became restless as he saw the empty cup gradually disappearing from his sight, and then his eyes met Yuri’s.

Seeing those eyes still filled with wavering unease, Yuri unconsciously slowed his steps.

“Are you angry?”

Xinlu asked. His low voice also seemed to tremble like his eyes. Although in reality it didn’t tremble, it sounded extremely unsteady.

Yuri blinked, looking at him. Then slowly shook his head.

“I’m not angry.”

A slightly bewildered expression appeared on Yuri’s face, as if he didn’t understand why he suddenly asked that. Xinlu stared intently at every feature on Yuri’s face, then slightly furrowed his brows.

“You don’t like seeing people get hurt like that.”

Only then did Yuri understand what he was talking about.

Xinlu was asking if Yuri was angry because he had witnessed him hurting someone else.

Because he didn’t expect him to ask that – also didn’t expect him to think about that – Yuri stared blankly at him for a moment, then shook his head.

“No one enjoys seeing other people get hurt. Generally speaking. Me neither, but I don’t think I have any reason to be angry at you, Mr. Ling Xinlu.”

“—…… Aren’t you scared or disgusted?”

Xinlu asked again. Each of his questions puzzled Yuri, he looked at him questioningly and then shook his head again.

“I’ve witnessed a lot of things like that. I’m not scared or disgusted anymore.”

There was no need to recount the countless dangerous places he had been to throughout his work. Just the gruesome scenes he had witnessed while cleaning up the aftermath for Riegrow during his time at T&R were countless.

He had witnessed firsthand people being ‘beaten to death’ in the truest sense of the word several times from beginning to end.

So, now such things no longer frighten or disgust him.

However.

“I am surprised.”

Yuri quietly said to Xinlu, who was looking at him with suspicious eyes.

Just as Yuri saw the wavering unease in Xinlu’s eyes when their eyes met there, Xinlu also saw the almost shocked surprise in Yuri’s eyes.
Therefore, even though he said he wasn’t angry or scared, he still didn’t fully believe him, and continued to look at Yuri suspiciously. But when he heard him say he was surprised, the suspicion in his eyes lessened somewhat.

“Because this is the first time I’ve seen you directly lay a hand on someone. Did something happen today? I thought you wouldn’t do that……”

Yuri looked at Xinlu while boiling water. Xinlu was silent for a moment, then answered curtly.

“I didn’t do that. It was just a coincidence. With my position, there’s actually no need to do it myself. So this won’t happen again.

“Just now it was just…… because of various things, my mind was a mess……”

He didn’t say the words ‘venting anger’. His eyes glanced at Yuri as his lips pressed tightly together, as if he thought that saying it would make Yuri show an unpleasant expression.

During the prolonged silence, Yuri quietly made tea, then placed the steaming cup in front of Xinlu.

The tea had to cool down a bit before it could be drunk, but anyway, from a while ago, he had only been staring at the teacup, seemingly not intending to drink it right away.

……. He had thought that he had become stronger.

A Ling Xinlu who always smiled cheerfully and brightly, whose eyes looked forward with determination, no longer uneasy to the point of being unable to control himself, Yuri had thought so.

A gradually stabilizing and firm heart had found its own peace.

Perhaps that thought wasn’t entirely wrong.

Even when he met Yuri just now, Xinlu didn’t waver emotionally. His eyes were clearly calmer and much more rational than before.

The unease within him had changed its form, manifesting in a different, distorted way than before.

“……”

It was awkward.

Although he was no longer uneasy to the point of not knowing what to do, potentially endangering himself as before, now he still seemed fragile. Even now, sitting in front of Yuri, looking down at the teacup, occasionally glancing up at him, it was the same.

——However.

Saying this might seem strange, but in the current situation, somehow Yuri felt relaxed in a certain way.

Throughout the past, when it was just the two of them at home, they barely spoke to each other. Xinlu only spoke the necessary, clipped sentences.

Yuri too, found it very difficult to start a conversation with Xinlu, someone who didn’t even want to make eye contact.

Perhaps this oppressive, death-like silence had distressed him greatly, even though he himself might not have been aware of it, only now did Yuri realize this.

At this moment, being able to talk, even slowly, in a somewhat gloomy tone, made him feel much more at ease.

So, although it felt a bit strange, Yuri unconsciously smiled. That smile only flickered at the corner of his eyes, hidden behind his expressionless face, but Xinlu, who had been observing Yuri with deep-set eyes, seemed to notice it. He raised his eyebrows slightly, as if it was strange.

“Before, right after we came to Berlin from Seringe, during the time we stayed at the same hotel……”

Yuri quietly spoke. Xinlu looked puzzled but remained silent and listening.

“At that time, your eye was injured, and every night you were in so much pain that you couldn’t sleep, you kept tossing and turning.”

Xinlu didn’t say anything, but it seemed he remembered what Yuri was talking about.

There had been such nights. Nights where he felt burning pain, his entire body drenched in cold sweat, but he still gritted his teeth and endured without making a sound. And each time, Yuri was by his side, watching him writhe in suffocating pain, he had thought……

“When I saw Mr. Ling Xinlu biting your lip to suppress his screams, gritting your teeth to endure, trying to gasp but still trying to stifle even those pained breaths, to the point where your face turned pale, yet still trying to control yourself…… I thought……”

Witnessing the sight of Xinlu’s lips constantly bleeding from being bitten raw, the wounds not having time to heal before night came and they were bitten again, the blood scabs never having a chance to heal, Yuri applied medicine to the wound on the back of his hand – where the teeth marks were imprinted from him biting himself to divert the pain elsewhere – and thought to himself.

“I thought it would be better for you to hurt others than to hurt yourself to endure unbearable pain. I know that’s a selfish thought, but no matter what anyone says, I truly wished you would do that.”

When Yuri said that, Xinlu looked at him with a strange expression. It was a bizarre expression. Like he was looking at a stranger, or like he was in a lot of pain somewhere but didn’t know where it hurt so he couldn’t cry, those expressions mixed together to create a strange look.

“So, even though you seem uneasy now, I’m relieved that you’re not hurting yourself. Although I feel very sorry for that man.”

Yuri said calmly. While speaking, he picked up the teacup that had cooled down just enough to drink and took a sip.

Xinlu just stared at Yuri. He still didn’t seem to want to touch his teacup, he kept looking as if he didn’t want to miss a single moment.

Suddenly, Yuri looked at the calendar hanging on the wall behind Xinlu. He happened to see the date printed in large font, next to it was the tiny character ‘Luck*’.

(*Luck 吉 = 길/Gil: Good fortune, good luck)

Although it was just a character without any special meaning and it wasn’t certain to be true, his heart felt a little more at peace.

Yuri murmured while drinking his tea.

“This month has many good days. Although there aren’t many days left, it seems like it will be a good month.”

The remaining days of the month on the calendar were marked as average or good. Even if he didn’t fully believe it, he thought it wouldn’t be bad to choose to believe in good things, so Yuri stared intently at that character.

“There really are only a few days left.” – Yuri muttered unconsciously.

Time passed, and the contract deadline was also approaching.

It seemed like Xinlu also thought of the same thing almost at the same time as Yuri. The corners of his mouth seemed to stiffen.

“I don’t mean to rush you. Take your time to think about it.”

Yuri said softly with all sincerity. He could wait until the contract expired. But if it went overdue——then the contract would automatically terminate without renewal.Even so, a delay was fine. As long as he was satisfied with it. Yuri finished the last sip of his tea.

At that moment……

Xinlu, who had been silently watching Yuri until now, suddenly whispered.

“I’m thirsty.——I want to drink water.”

Hearing him speak like a sigh, Yuri looked down at the untouched teacup, then stood up.

Perhaps cold water would quench his thirst better than hot tea.

While pouring water and placing it in front of him, Yuri asked: “Do you need ice?”

Xinlu shook his head and picked up the glass of water.

It seemed like he was really thirsty. He drank the water very gently but without pausing for a second, and quickly emptied the glass. Probably because it wasn’t enough, he stared at the empty glass and whispered.

“I’m thirsty. So thirsty. My throat feels like it’s burning.”

Yuri immediately poured him another full glass of water. Xinlu quickly drained the full glass again.

But he still frowned. He looked at the empty glass and tilted his head. Then, he looked up at Yuri.

“……. No…… I’m still thirsty. Thirsty for water. Water……”

Xinlu’s voice was tinged with restlessness. He clutched his throat, pleading for relief from his thirst.

Yuri frowned slightly.

“Are you alright?”

He asked gently and leaned towards him. Ling Xinlu looked at Yuri.

His eyes seemed to want to bore into Yuri, and he kept looking at Yuri for a long time without saying a word. Restlessness began to well up in the depths of those eyes.

His hand reached out and grasped the hem of Yuri’s clothes. As his hand slowly but firmly pulled him closer, Ling Xinlu buried his face in the fabric of Yuri’s shirt.

A deep sigh escaped his lips.

Just like that, after a few sighs, he whispered in a voice as soft as the breeze:

“I’m thirsty. My throat is burning. I want to drink……”

Please.

It was that short whisper. A trembling restlessness. An unease within that earnest breath…… that stopped Yuri from pushing him away.

The first touch was light and hesitant.

Ling Xinlu gripped the hem of Yuri’s clothes tightly, and buried his face in his chest, whispering: “My throat is so dry……”, then gently placed his tongue against his skin as if licking a drop of water. Yuri looked down at him, and thought to himself that he looked just like a small kitten.

Licking, licking, and licking. Drop by drop, and drop by drop. A soft sensation, and hesitantly, as if gathering precious drops of water, repeated again and again.

Yuri felt Ling Xinlu’s gaze on him as his lips remained pressed against his chest.

In that brief moment of eye contact, Yuri hesitated slightly, then slowly reached out and stroked his shoulder. The gesture was somewhat clumsy, filled with awkwardness.

At that moment……

Like someone who was only licking drops of water to stave off death from thirst, and then suddenly streams of water began to gush forth, on Ling Xinlu’s face as well, the burning thirst suddenly surged intensely.

If he had never felt the wetness touch his lips, perhaps he would have let go of the thirst and resigned himself to dying with regret. But once his lips were moistened, there was absolutely no way to let go. As if driven mad.

*Crash!* The sharp sound of shattering porcelain rang out.

Several teacups and glasses on the dining table were swept to the floor, and shattered into pieces. Yuri fell backward, his back hitting the tabletop where the cups had been.

Having been pushed onto the table by that rough and forceful hand, before Yuri could sit up, Ling Xinlu pounced on him.

A suffocating weight pressed down on his chest, stomach, then his entire body.

“I thought I had matured. Truly. I thought I would never again lose control, be ruled by my emotions like before.”

A hot breath brushed against his chest along with a growl.

“I thought I could control my emotions in any situation, I didn’t want to repeat what happened before…… —That’s right, I thought I would never again let Mr. Gable endured such awful things like when you took care of me, a madman who couldn’t control himself, in that Berlin hotel.”

The feeling of his lips brushing against his neck, chest, stomach, every inch of his skin, as if not a single spot could be missed, was both ticklish and cold.

Like a wet and  hot mollusk crawling on his skin. Yuri unconsciously shivered, reflexively wanting to sit up, but it only increased the weight pressing down on him.

“Now, Mr. Gable, even if Riegrow stood before me, I could remain calm. Just the thought of him still being alive in this world makes me uncomfortable, I don’t want to see even a single hair on his head, but if I had to be with him in a situation where I needed to stay calm, I could still do it. Even he can’t make me lose my mind. —But……”

The hand stroking his waist suddenly tightened its grip. The arm holding him tightly as if unwilling to let go, tightened even more, making it hard for Yuri to breathe.

“You are the problem. You shouldn’t be like this. Just seeing you—my mind goes blank. I don’t know what I should do, or where to begin.”

His curt voice sounded angry. Or perhaps he really was angry.

At some point, Ling Xinlu’s lower body had pressed against Yuri’s inner thigh. He pushed his hips deep between his legs, causing their lower bodies to touch.

And Yuri could clearly feel his erection through the thin layer of remaining fabric on his body.

“What should I do? What should I do? I want you by my side. I need you by my side. But it turns out, even if you are by my side, you can still leave at any time. You said you liked me, yet you can live just fine without me. —Liar.”

The last word burst out like an angry growl.

The lips that were brushing around the rim of his ear suddenly bit hard into his neck.

It seemed he really couldn’t maintain his reason—couldn’t control himself. He bit into Yuri’s neck like a wild animal.

“Wait, it hurts…… I never lied—……”

Yuri’s cry seemed to fall on deaf ears. Or perhaps even if he heard it, he deliberately ignored it, Ling Xinlu lifted his head from Yuri’s neck, covering his mouth.

His tongue pushed into Yuri’s mouth, preventing him from speaking. The hand caressing below Yuri’s waist pulled off the last remaining piece of underwear.

A chill passed as the bare skin of his intimate area came into contact with the air.

Ling Xinlu hastily removed his own clothes with one hand, then pulled out his penis. His hardened penis, protruding from his underwear, touched Yuri’s private area.

The cold air was pushed out, replaced by a burning warmth.

“You said you would contact me frequently when you returned? Call occasionally, stay in touch for a long time? For a long time, right, during that long, drawn-out time, I would wither away? Only hearing your voice while this—you’re telling me to give this up?”

Ling Xinlu whispered, then devoured Yuri’s lips.

No longer restraining himself, or rather, no longer wanting to restrain himself, he devoured Yuri’s body with his hands, with his mouth.

“I, Mr. Ling Xinlu, I never said I would…… go back……”

“You said so!”

Ling Xinlu interrupted Yuri and asserted firmly. He gritted his teeth, seemingly angry at his own words.

“You said so. In the end, it’s just like that. Even if we renew the contract every year, adding one year after another, what difference does it make? Your heart can still leave at any time. —If so, then why did you come to me?”

The resentful accusation pierced Yuri’s ears like a drill.

And at the same time, Ling Xinlu lifted Yuri’s knee. He pressed his knee against his chest, then placed his ankle on his shoulder.

Yuri gasped, struggling to breathe in the uncomfortable position, his mouth muttering: “I…… didn’t……”, but then fell silent.

Xinlu’s hand stroked down from his lower abdomen, suddenly brushing over his intimate area.

His hand paused for a moment on Yuri’s soft clitoris, then began to rub it as if in anger.

Yuri felt his breath hitch under the rough but not painful caresses.

The sensitive feeling from being licked all over his body was intensified by the direct stimulation of his intimate area.

With just a few strokes from Ling Xinlu, Yuri’s penis quickly hardened. At this, the rough hand gently caressed him as if satisfied.

“I’ll do it well for you.”

A surprisingly gentle, low voice whispered in his ear. A sweet and affectionate voice, as if coaxing him, completely different from the previous angry, resentful tone, nibbling his earlobe like a spoiled kitten.

“I’ll do whatever you want. I’ll give myself to you, be as greedy as you like. I’ll satisfy you.”

The fingers caressing his intimate area were as gentle as his voice.

“As you wish, according to your desires.”

Ling Xinlu was speaking like that. Gently, as if soothing a child. In the rising pleasure that was being held back by the slow caresses, Yuri looked at him with hazy eyes.

He couldn’t see his face clearly.

His head was hot and spinning in a daze.

“You’ll do it for me……?”

“Yes. Anything you want. Anything.”

“……, ……I don’t want to ‘be serviced’.”

While panting, Yuri murmured the thought that had just surfaced in his mind. More like talking to himself than to him.

Yuri didn’t hate this. No, he liked it.

To the point where he had to seriously question his sexual orientation, Yuri liked having sex with Xinlu. And in the end, he was always the one exhausted, but if he wanted to, he would never refuse.

But he liked being intertwined together. He didn’t like being ‘serviced’.

“……Why? You don’t want to do it with me?”

The voice, silent for a while, suddenly rang out again. Still the low voice beside his ear, but no longer gentle and sweet.

Then, beneath the hand stroking and rubbing Yuri’s penis, Xinlu pushed his hips in deeper.

“Ah……——!”

A suppressed moan escaped his lips. Yuri’s eyes widened. In a breathless moment, he opened his mouth, but it was immediately captured by Xinlu’s lips.

His penis invaded his body without warning. Deeper and deeper. The strong relentless thrusts continued, quickly reaching the deepest part of Yuri.

He thrust hard, pressing his testicles against the entrance that had been stretched to its limit.

Yuri gasped. He tried to turn his head, struggling to catch his breath.

After escaping Xinlu’s kiss, he took a few deep breaths, but the intense pressure below made it impossible to breathe smoothly.

Xinlu persistently pursued Yuri, who was turning his face away. His lips greedily kissed his lips, his cheek, as his chest heaved with each breath.

Xinlu was also panting with excitement.

“——Then, you do it to me. I don’t care how you do it. I want to do everything for you, but if you don’t want to receive, then service me. Give this body to me. Spread your legs whenever I want, move your hips until I’m satisfied. Do that for me.”

He whispered intensely in Yuri’s ear, biting his cheek as he spoke. Then he started moving his hips. As if wanting to push his penis, already buried deep inside, even deeper, deeper, and deeper, he thrust harder and harder, without pausing for a second.

Caught up in his movements, Yuri instinctively wrapped his legs around his waist, feeling like he was about to fall into an abyss. His body flushed and trembled uncontrollably. He didn’t know what to do, only able to act on instinct.

“Yes, that’s right, good. So tight……——Damn, you crave it this much? So tight it makes me cry out? How have you been living until now? After this, right, when you go back, how will you live without me? With this greedy body, can you live without me? Or——”

The words that were pouring out suddenly stopped.

As if he had just thought of something, he stopped the caresses, the tight embrace around his waist, and the thrusting of his hips.

A cold look, as if the temperature had suddenly dropped below zero, and immediately after, a rage erupted like fire.

“I will never let it go……! If anyone, whether male or female, dares to touch this body even with a fingertip, I will kill them! I will tear them apart, cut every piece of their flesh right in front of you. Anyone…… ——I WILL DESTROY THEM, I WILL NEVER LET IT GO……!!”

Ling Xinlu roared like a ferocious tiger, as if he would tear apart every corner inside his body, and pushed Yuri to the limit. Just a fleeting thought that crossed his mind made his eyes widen, turning a greenish hue. His heart pounded wildly. As if it was about to explode.

Yuri could feel his heartbeat even through the layer of skin. ‘Why is it like this?’ He thought blankly, then suddenly realized: It was his own heartbeat. Two hearts beating strongly, close together.

Someone else? He had never thought about that.

Yes, maybe there will be someone. Maybe someday there would be someone who would make him want to have sex with them.

But not now. And not after this. At least not as long as this man still craved him.

“……—”

‘……No…… there won’t be……’ – He meant to say that, but the words couldn’t escape his lips. The extreme pleasure spreading throughout his body made him unable to speak.

He couldn’t think anymore. The feeling of the hand gripping his waist tightly, the teeth biting hard on his lips, the tightening embrace with each thrust, all became a jumbled mass of sensation.

As if his entire body was nothing but sensation, a pure state of feeling.

“Gasp…… gasp…… gasp……” – Some sound, unclear whether it was his or his own panting, filled Yuri’s ears. The sound seemed mixed with sobbing, making Yuri think that perhaps he was crying. Now he noticed, his cheeks were wet. His eyes too. Perhaps he had been crying, and screaming unconsciously.

But was this man crying?

Yuri tried to open his eyes wide, looking at Xinlu through his blurred tears.

But Xinlu, whom he had briefly thought was crying, wasn’t crying at all. Only beads of sweat rolled down his gaunt cheeks.

So why did he look like a child sobbing uncontrollably? Yuri tried to look at Xinlu, trying not to take his eyes off him despite his dizziness.

Xinlu also stared intently at Yuri without looking away, his gaze as if wanting to devour him.

The feeling of fullness and tension below seemed to increase. The feeling of being invaded, of being stretched, made him breathless.

His breathing was ragged. His head spun. His body had reached its peak long ago. It was so sensitive that it no longer felt like his own.

He suddenly thought: ‘Maybe I’ll really die.’

” ——,……Dying…… going to—”

Fragmented words escaped Yuri’s lips. Like a breath of wind passing by and disappearing, but Xinlu seemed to understand.

Then, in a hoarse voice thick with arousal, almost unintelligible, Xinlu whispered:

“Are you dying? ——I’m only now starting to feel alive. For so long, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat or drink anything, my mind was just a mess. Do you know how long I’ve been like this? Do you know how long it’s been? I don’t even remember clearly anymore. These past few days, I really thought I was going to die…… ——But only now do I feel alive.”

The arms tightly wrapped around his waist tightened even more. As if wanting to embrace him to the point of crushing him, squeezing him so tightly that there wasn’t a single gap left.

“I was so tired I could die, but holding you in my arms, I feel all the fatigue melt away. Only now do I feel alive. I’ve been feeling so thirsty for so long, I couldn’t stand it anymore——”

Xinlu whispered into Yuri’s ear, kissing his ear as he spoke.

“I will never let go. No matter what happens, no matter what, I will never let go. Whatever it takes, I will keep you by my side.”

Those whispered words dissolved into Yuri’s hazy mind.