“Riyadh, that damned place, I had a bad feeling about it since the first time I went there. When they told me to change the perfectly fine evening flight to a dawn one, I did it. But within an hour, they told me to switch it back to the evening, changing their minds like boiling porridge. I had a bad feeling then. Tell me, Richard, is changing flights some sort of habit you only have in Riyadh? Why are you changing it to Wednesday morning now?!”

“I might have said I’d leave early Wednesday morning. Okay, just change it to that.” 

After curtly concluding the conversation, Richard hung up the phone without waiting for an answer. The sound of Hans tearing at his hair and swearing on the other end in Germany didn’t carry over here.

The driver glanced at the rearview mirror from the driver’s seat. Although he couldn’t understand the words, he seemed to pick up on Richard’s cold tone and hesitated uneasily. Richard habitually looked down at his wrist, only to realize it was bare, and then shifted his gaze to the dashboard. It was already close to 10 P.M.

Whenever he traveled abroad, Richard would usually make time to have a meal with relatives, however distant, who happened to be residing in the country for Tarten’s business. It was part of his unspoken duties. Although he had planned to return early after dinner tonight, the complex dynamics of the Middle East’s current situation had stretched the conversation longer than expected.

He had anticipated this sort of thing on the first day anyway. Even though he was ostensibly on vacation for personal matters, there wasn’t a single day he could truly be free from his responsibilities. Richard rubbed his wrinkled brows and let out a low sigh.

By the time the car that had undergone a simple security check at the entrance stopped at the entrance to the mansion, it was already too late to visit anyone.

Richard nodded lightly to the caretaker who had come to the door, acknowledging them before heading straight to the annex where he was staying. However, he slowed his pace midway as he lost in thought, and chose a longer route. He had already memorized the layout of this grand estate after several visits. He knew which path led to the pool reserved for employees—though not all employees, only those with considerable value who worked here.

The timing was ambiguous. If he had a watch, he could check the exact time, but lacking one, he could only guess. Perhaps the man had already gone to bed, or he might be in the pool, stretching his body in this stifling heat.

Christoph was quite capricious. He didn’t have much of a set routine – except for work – but in this sweltering land, he occasionally went for a dip in the pool before bed, though not every night. He often did so on particularly humid days, or when he felt restless from not moving around much all day.

Today seemed to meet those conditions reasonably well, but it was already quite late. Whether Christoph had been to the pool today, or whether he might still be there at this hour, was uncertain.

Even so, Richard had deliberately chosen the long way around, then he spotted a small group of two or three people huddled near a low fence as he neared the pool. They seemed to be peeking over it, trying to remain hidden. It didn’t take long for Richard to realize that the man was likely in the pool. Still, his expression, as he observed their backs, didn’t brighten in the slightest.

“Hey, he’s flipping over.”

“Look at that pale belly. It’s just like the belly of a fish.”

“…….”

“…….”

A silence hung between the men for a while. They seemed to be lost in their thoughts, staring beyond the wall, oblivious to Richard’s steps as he moved closer, his footfalls muffled by the sand.

*Gulp* A dry gulp broke the quiet. Someone muttered to himself.

“Why’s a guy like that wasting his time shooting things around here? Instead of chasing us around like rats, he should just head over to a TV station or something.”

The only one to respond was a man who had been idly fiddling with his phone, uninterested in whatever was beyond the wall.

“Because of that temper of his. Would you hire someone who’s basically a walking disaster waiting to happen?”

The man who responded with a cold laugh was the man Al Saud had appointed as his assistant when Christophe first came here—it seemed more like an accident prevention assistant, after listening closely. He was the only man who hadn’t been fooled by Christophe’s ‘looking like that’ appearance. He was also a brave man who still stubbornly talked to Christophe, despite the fact that he had often been beaten to death while working together.

“If you guys don’t want your eyes gouged out, just turn around and get to bed. Do you really think that ghost-like guy hasn’t noticed you staring at him? I guarantee you, the moment he gets out of that pool, he’ll drag you into the water.”

“What can he see in this darkness anyway? If it looks like he’s getting out, we’ll just bolt. Life’s rough as it is—let’s enjoy some eye candy while we can.”

“And then spend Monday rolling around in the training field as punishment, huh?”

With a sharp click of his tongue, the man sighed as though recalling an unpleasant memory but quickly fell silent. It wasn’t until Richard was just a few steps away that he noticed his presence.

During work hours, the man who often stayed close to Christoph, was already familiar with Richard. The man slid his phone he was holding into his pocket and gave a quick bow. After receiving a kick to the shin from the man who kicked his colleague, the other men turned around and awkwardly gave a nod of acknowledgement.

Richard’s gaze shifted past their shoulders to the pool. As they had described, Christoph was cutting through the dark water, his pale body moving with an almost fish-like grace. Then, when reached the edge of the pool, Christoph seemed to decide he was done, he grabbed the ladder and climbed out.

Brushing his wet hair back, Christoph let out a long light sigh. The moonlight reflected on droplets of water as they traced down his bare body. Standing still for a moment, water dripping off him, Christoph stared up at the moon before finally turning his gaze toward them. Even though they were concealed in the dim shadows of the undergrowth, Christoph’s gaze landed on them with unsettling precision. His cold and sharp voice cut through the stillness.

“Come here.”

It was a tone that made it clear he already knew there were people, and several of them, lurking nearby. The men shrank back like turtles, while the assistant hissed a belated scolding: “I told you so!”

As they hesitated to speak, shuffling nervously without stepping forward, Christoph’s gaze grew increasingly icy. Just as he seemed about to speak again, one figure stepped out from among them without hesitation. Striding forward with steady steps, the person approached Christoph.

Christoph’s cold eyes followed the figure, and as the distance closed enough for recognition, his eyebrows briefly arched in surprise. In the clear blue of his eyes, Richard’s impassive face was reflected.

“You…….”

But before Christoph could finish, Richard grabbed a towel from a nearby beach bench as he walked. When he reached Christoph, he wrapped the towel around his shoulders like a cloak, tugging it snugly as though fastening a coat. Only after meticulously securing it did he take a step back.

Christoph stared at him blankly for a moment. Then, as if slipping back into his usual demeanor, he frowned faintly. An almost reflexive reaction whenever Richard was involved. His gaze swept from Richard’s head to his feet with blatant scrutiny.

“Did you go out looking like that?”

It seemed that Richard’s plain clothing had somehow gotten on Christoph’s nerves. Or perhaps his mood was simply sour for some reason. After all, he hadn’t made any comments about similar attire in the past. Richard glanced down at Christoph and replied coldly:

“Better than the sight of you standing half-naked in an open area.”

“Do you swim fully clothed or something?” 

Christoph retorted with a snort. And then Christoph yanked the towel draped over his shoulders and flung it roughly at Richard, hitting him on the shoulder. Then he strode away, picking up the robe he had left on a beach bench and draping it over himself. His hands tied the belt with an aggressive motion.

Though Christoph was never someone to appear cheerful, it was evident that his mood was particularly foul today. He’d been like that since before Richard left the house earlier. Especifically, it started during breakfast.

That morning, alongside a guest who had arrived late the previous night and hadn’t had the chance to properly greet them yet, Richard joined Al Saud, the current owner of this mansion, for breakfast. As a fellow member of the Tarten lineage, Christoph was also invited to the meal.

Usually low-energy in the mornings due to his naturally low blood pressure, Christoph had barely spoken a word, responding tersely only when directly addressed. The first time he actually reacted was when Richard, who had been exchanging polite conversation with Al Saud, suddenly brought up the topic: “By the way, about Christoph…….”

“I think I will return on the first flight on Wednesday, would it be okay for him to guide me around here on Monday and Tuesday?  “

As he requested permission on behalf of his employer so politely, Christoph was momentarily at a loss for words, staring with wide eyes. To the one who was concealing a holiday request under the guise of a guide, being guided here felt quite brazen for someone who visits this place several times a year, and this thought was clearly evident in Christoph’s eyes.  

However, before Christoph could speak with sharp eyes, Al Saud spoke first in a nonchalant tone.  

“A guide. Do you have special plans that day? No. I just want to.”

Richard’s response was composed while shaking his head. It wouldn’t have been surprising if it showed disbelief, but Al Saud simply nodded, saying he understood, without displaying any particular reaction.  

“Go ahead and do as you like……. Indeed, the Tartens are famous for being close-knit and harmonious within the family. You seem to have a good relationship with your brother.”  

Al Saud glanced at Christoph with a light smile, but did not mention it further. Responding naturally to the change of topic, Richard concluded the conversation as if nothing happened, while Christoph looked at him with displeasure.  

“I wonder since when you and I have been such a harmonious pair of brothers.” 

While Al Saud conversed with Jeong Jae sitting next to him, Christoph chuckled quietly. Richard glanced at him with a calm expression and responded.  

“I never said I stayed with you because we are brothers.”  

At the same time, Richard placed the fork on the empty plate and wiped his mouth. An attendant who was standing at a distance quickly approached and poured tea into his empty cup.  

“Don’t be mistaken, Christoph.”

Picking up the cup, Richard looked directly at Christoph. As he met Richard’s calm and composed eyes, Christoph furrowed his brow slightly.  

“I have never considered you my brother. I do not deduct several days from my schedule to come see you because we are close brothers.”

“Then――, ―……..”

About to retort why, Christoph stopped mid-sentence. Glaring at Richard for a few seconds with his mouth open, Christoph slowly closed his mouth again. As if not wanting to hear the answer, he turned his head. Then Christoph pushed aside his plate and stood up to leave, even though he had not yet finished his meal.  

At that time and just as before, Christoph continued to have a displeased look on his face. There wasn’t much difference from usual on the outside, but occasionally he rubbed his temples with slightly more force. 

Even now, after tying his robe belt and rubbing his temples as if having a headache, Christoph picked up a few items he had left on the bench—a small medicine bottle and a wristwatch. 

“It’s late. I’m going to bed.” 

Spitting it out as if to make a point, Christoph glanced briefly at Richard and then walked away. Richard briefly glanced at the watch Christoph wrapped back around his wrist as if it were his own, then silently watched his retreating figure until Christoph disappeared from sight.

Only after the sound of his footsteps also faded into the darkness did Richard turn his gaze. Seeing the men still lurking behind the fence, he turned his steps toward them. It was also the direction where the outbuilding he stayed in was located. 

The men, looking relieved when Christoph disappeared, quickly showed a hint of caution again as Richard approached. Richard tossed a towel into the large basket lying next to the bench and gave them his usual smile. With a smile often described as pleasant, he casually started a conversation as if speaking to a neighboring youth. 

“He’s a really picky guy to deal with, so it won’t be easy working with him……. Does he treat his subordinates well?”

Perhaps because they felt a sense of unity as fellow victims of that prickly personality, the men soon relaxed their expressions. The aide almost caught unjustly in Christoph’s storm scratched his head and hesitantly muttered. 

“Well……. his capabilities as a superior are outstanding.”

No matter what, because they had heard that he’s a cousin of that superior, it seemed they couldn’t quite bring themselves to speak ill in front of a family member, and Richard chuckled at their diplomatic wording. 

“Well, if we’re just talking about ability, there would be nothing more to ask for.”

The men who understood Richard’s subtle tone also laughed as well. As their sense of camaraderie deepened, they seemed pleased. Their faces were nodding as if saying: ‘That’s right, when it comes to capability’, are like mischievous children secretly enjoying badmouthing someone they can’t oppose in front. 

“Sometimes, no often, I think why is he such a jerk, but anyway, he hasn’t messed up any work. Maybe we’ll renew the contract with better terms at the end of the year?”

When one of the men shrugs his shoulders and asks his colleague, his colleague also nods, saying: “Maybe so.” Anyway, even if they gossip, saying: “What’s the use of good skills when the personality is terrible”, there seems to be no way to downplay the skills.  

Richard paused and raised his eyebrows. But soon, as if nothing happened, he continues to smile calmly and tilts his head.  

“Nevertheless, as long as you don’t provoke him first on this side, he’s not someone who will intentionally harm, so let it pass. After all, there’s not much time left until the end of the year.”  

“Ah, I really don’t want to see that bastard, so I shouldn’t renew my contract.” – The men grumbled while shaking their heads. Richard showed signs of leaving with the words: ‘It’s late, have a good night”, exchanged eye greetings with the men and then moved on.  

The night was dark, but the path where people walked was lit, bright enough to be serene. The streetlights, which had been sparse, increased in number as the annex Richard stayed in approached, and by the time the annex was visible from a distance, the ground was bright enough to see the grains of sand. Guards were noticeable here and there on night watch.  

Christoph probably also takes on night guard duty every few days. More precisely, instead of taking on duties, he would oversee those on guard. Every night, individuals of a certain standing would take turns patrolling for several hours.  

After exchanging light eye greetings with the guard passing in front of the annex, Richard went inside. As the door closed behind him, silence ensued. That quiet signaled the end of his day.  

“…….―.”  

Richard went straight to the bathroom, unbuttoning his shirt. The desire to drench himself in cold water was not just because of the muggy air.  

Soon, a stream of cold water hit his body. It didn’t wash away the feeling in his head completely, but it relieved the somewhat annoying mood a bit. After standing under the water for a while, only when his skin felt sore from the cold, did Richard raise the temperature slightly. A trace of warmth mixed into the cold water.  

“…….renewal of contract…….”  

His mutterings echoed in the bathroom.  

The period that Al Faisal initially proposed to Christoph for the contract wasn’t merely 1 or 2 years. Yet, somehow, so much time had already passed.  

Three to four times a year at most, and each time for only a few days at most. Richard’s visits to Riyadh were about that much. Even that was actually tight, barely making time.  

About 7 hours by plane. Even though it’s just a few hours, it was an irrefutable distance between them. Like the distance of two steps that wouldn’t shrink. 

The distance of two steps. 

It was an exceedingly subtle distance. 

A distance that couldn’t be breached out of fear, yet yearned to brush against that white skin, causing the insides to be consumed with longing. 

Eventually, during their first reunion in Riyadh, he didn’t speak with Christoph afterward. Although his flight planned for dawn was delayed till evening, and he stayed close to Christoph from the morning, even without Richard trying to talk first, Al Saud seemed to want to entertain guests from afar by saying: “You must have met your family after a long time, spend time together”, excluding Christoph from work,  they didn’t exchange a word. They didn’t avoid each other, nor did they speak harsh words, merely staying silently in the same space. Only Hans, who occasionally spoke between them, broke into a sweat. 

To Christoph, the one who didn’t open his mouth to Richard until the end, Richard said just one thing right before he left: “I’ll come again.” Even if he said he didn’t want it, it was a statement determined not to listen to such words, but no answer came. Neither a refusal nor an invitation. Christoph only looked at Richard with an indistinguishable gaze—a mix of doubt and suspicion. 

And after that, whenever he had the chance, Richard began to visit Riyadh. Even if it was only a few times a year, merely a few days, those who knew, knew how much he dedicated himself to work to make those days possible. 

Whenever Richard visited Riyadh, Christoph did not show a pleasant face. Always sullen and grim, he would grumpily utter why he had come again. However, even so, he did not avoid Richard. 

That’s right. He didn’t avoid him. 

Christoph didn’t refuse Richard’s coming. 

When was it? It was not long after Richard had started visiting Riyadh. 

While waiting for the boarding time at the airport, he wandered around the terminal and noticed a jacket in a men’s clothing store, which caught his eye, so he bought it. There was no particular thought. Just suddenly: ‘Come to think of it, that guy seemed to like this brand’, and he bought the jacket, which was a seasonal product.

It was the first time Richard gave something to Christoph for no reason at all, just because he thought of him, so Richard handed over the clothing box to Christoph a bit awkwardly. Christoph, who was also receiving something from Richard for the first time for no reason, unwrapped the clothing box with a puzzled and suspicious look to check its contents.  

And.  

For the first time since he started visiting Riyadh, Richard saw Christoph’s fierce eyes sharply torn upward. (Until then, he had only shown relatively static expressions, cold and either displeased or disapproving.)  

“Exchange it.”  

That was all he said. However, his expression spoke volumes. ‘Telling me to wear something like this. How do you see my taste? I wouldn’t wear it even if you gave it to me for free.’ Compared to his lukewarm coldness until then, it was a noticeably fierce reaction.  

However, he said to exchange it, not that he wouldn’t accept it. Richard brought the box back, and the next time he went to Riyadh, he carefully chose a button-down shirt.  

“It’s not easy for a reddish-brown tartan check to be this tacky, but you found it well.”  

But once again, all he received in return was a snort. Richard had to take the clothing box back on his return flight. And this happened several more times.  

“At least the last one could be used as a cat cushion; I don’t even want to leave this kind of thing lying around the room. Is this even clothing?” 

“Visible pattern silver cufflinks are the worst.”  

“Do you think it’s a bag just because it has a string attached to it?”  

Richard knew it already, but Christoph was really picky when it came to clothing. Even Richard had never heard that he had bad taste, yet Christoph’s sharp rejections continued.  

Ultimately, after going through the humiliation of calling in a shopkeeper from the store Christoph once frequented to get advice, the item seemed to meet his approval at least a little. In front of the semi-formal attire Richard presented, and Christoph quietly examined them without saying a word for the first time. Eventually, he raised his gaze and stared intently at Richard.  

“You didn’t pick this out, did you?”  

He was momentarily at a loss for words. Looking at Richard, who was speechless while staring at Christoph, Christoph slightly showed a mischievous smile. But that smile quickly disappeared as well.  

Christoph gave a brief snort and then took the clothes and went into the dressing room. After a while, the sound of fabric brushing inside could be heard quietly, and then he came out looking the same as when he went in. He then handed the clothes he was holding back to Richard.  

‘Was it not to his liking?’ – Richard clicked his tongue as he accepted it, but Christoph’s voice followed.

“The clothes here tend to be a bit bigger than regular sizes. That’s why I don’t wear ready-made clothes……. Well, whatever. My measurements should be recorded in the buyer’s register, so just have them tailored to those. Then it would be passable to wear.”

That was his answer. An acceptance of the gift.

Richard looked at Christoph silently for a moment. Perhaps because it irked him, or – unlikely considering his personality – but perhaps he was a bit embarrassed, Christoph coolly met Richard’s gaze.

“What?”

“…….Nothing.”

Richard shook his head. At the same time, he tilted his head slightly, pondering over the subtle emotion stirring at the bottom of his heart.

To give him something as a gift. And he accepted it, not just formally, but because he genuinely liked it. He was satisfied with what Richard had given him.

Despite repeatedly insisting on giving gifts with a stubbornness similar to competitiveness, he hadn’t thought of this. That he would be glad because of him.

And, he didn’t know. That with something as trivial as this, he himself would feel such delight.

At some point, Richard must have chuckled. Christoph was looking at him with a strange expression. As if trying to gauge the meaning behind Christoph’s serious and quite peculiar gaze, Richard quickly erased his smile.

No matter what kind of kindness Richard showed, it seemed like a line was drawn before his eyes, making it difficult to accept that kindness purely for what it was. Up to here, drawing a line like this. This is as far as it goes. For now, just up to here.

However, it wasn’t all bad.

In the afternoon, Christoph seemed to be pondering something. He handed over a large box as if it were a return gift. Upon opening the rather heavy box, it contained various fashion magazines, related mooks, and photo albums of fashion show seasons.

“If you plan to bring clothes again next time, look through these first.”

At his words, Richard looked into the box with a dumbfounded expression but soon burst into laughter. It was unexpectedly delightful. Along with the delight came, amusingly enough, a sense of relief.

Next time too. 

Yes, next time too.

He was not rejecting Richard coming to this place. 

It felt peculiar. He couldn’t even discern what kind of feeling it was.

What he had felt for him so far was an intense and suffocating sensation that couldn’t be defined. Whether it was hatred, desire, obsession, or something else, that thirst could perhaps be something very moist, hot, and soft. It was very unfamiliar but never unpleasant. 

What could it be. 

“…….”

Richard left the shower room. The air conditioner breeze touched his wet body coldly. 

Whatever it was, for now, he was hoping for one thing. That he would accept whatever Richard offered him without hesitation. Not to look at it anxiously, wondering why this man was giving it to him or what intention was hidden behind it. When that day comes, the distance of two steps might shorten to about one and a half. 

At that moment, the screen of the laptop left open on the table changed. It flickered, indicating that a new email had arrived. With a few taps on the keys, the email from Hans was displayed. The content was brief. 

[“Flight change completed to Wednesday morning at 6:45. I temporarily entrusted the store to Owen, and it seems fine to leave it to him permanently. (By the way, it seems Erich was dumped by that woman of fate as soon as he landed at Charles de Gaulle Airport.) No other issues at present. See you tomorrow.”] 

Even while Richard was on vacation, Hans still contacted him twice daily, morning and evening, and seemed upset about the flight change. His tone was more succinct than usual. 

However, Richard withdrew his gaze from the laptop without any sign of concern. “Poor Erich”, he muttered to himself. 

That man who could be swayed by people despite being full of doubts but somehow seemed bound to end up this way whenever he talked about fate. 

“The future, arranged in advance regardless of whether one wishes it or not…….” 

He didn’t believe in such things. Even if they existed, he thought they would be insignificant. Throughout his life, whenever he desired something, he gained it through effort. Although he was naturally at an advantageous position compared to others, for him, who grew up competing with siblings in equal positions, effort was everything. 

But at some point recently, he suddenly thought that perhaps such things might indeed exist. That there might be something unavoidable, regardless of one’s efforts. 

Richard clicked his tongue. 

Regardless of effort, regardless of reason, regardless of will, things that cannot be washed away from one’s mind. Even if you wash your body with cold water, you can’t rinse your mind. Even at this moment, what comes to mind is. 

“…….”

Richard glanced at the clock.

He intended to lightly wash up and go straight to bed, but somehow he couldn’t fall asleep.

‘Should I take back the pill I gave to him and take it? Yeah. That seemed like a good idea.’

It seemed the time that Christoph would already be in bed by now. However, despite that brief thought flashing through his mind, Richard was already leaving the annex. He briefly considered that taking the pill wasn’t necessary, but he dismissed that thought as well. Whether it was an excuse or something else, it didn’t matter. He wanted to see him.

The door was still unlocked. Inside the quietly and readily opened door, Christoph was sleeping on a dimly lit bed with only a small lamp on.

Despite flaring up whenever someone entered his room, he still doesn’t lock his doors before sleeping. Given that several people got badly hurt after carelessly coming in and out without knowing during his early days here, no one approaches his room without reason.

Richard approached the bed. Then, just like he did in the morning, he stopped and leaned against the post. He looked down at him contemplatively.

Christoph, dressed neatly in pajamas and covering himself up to the chest with a blanket, was also wearing an eye mask, perhaps unable to sleep well tonight. Upon closer inspection, small earplugs were slightly visible. A small medicine bottle Richard threw to him in the morning was placed beside the water pitcher on the nightstand. At a glance, a few pills seemed to be missing.

“Christoph.”

Richard looked down at him contemplatively, leaning his head against the post, and quietly opened his mouth. He wasn’t calling Christoph, who even had earplugs on. He just tried saying his name. “Christoph.” – He called once more.

A thirst crept up. It wasn’t the intense thirst that choked his throat like that moment a few years ago when he first reunited with him in Riyadh. However, a quiet thirst that burned black in his chest lingered stubbornly for years without subsiding.

Just a little. Just a little bit. Even just one drop would be enough.

Richard looked at the two steps between him and himself. Eventually, he began to walk slowly. He stopped at a distance where he could reach out and touch him if he took one more step.

He quietly extended his hand. The hand that stopped above Christoph’s face lingered a few centimeters above for a while. However, that hand eventually withdrew.

Richard looked down at his timid hand and bitterly smiled.

The anxiety never ceased, just as much as the thirst. What he was thinking. Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to confirm it.

Richard glanced at the medicine bottle. It was a sedative with good effects, almost no side effects, and no addiction. Even if he chewed it like candy, as he usually did, it would not be particularly dangerous. Maybe his consciousness would sink deeper than usual. 

“Christoph.”

Richard muttered again. This time, he was calling out, but no answer came. Richard didn’t call out again and kept his mouth shut. 

He leaned his body on the wall by the head of the bed. He stops at a distance so close that it was barely there, just an inch or two away. Right in front, at the moment when it became difficult to clearly discern the features, a quiet thirst surged violently from below. The thirst was so intense that it was surprising it had been quiet until now. The force of it drove him forward.

Their lips touched quietly.

As if startled for a moment, Richard’s lips flinched but then remained silent for a while before moving down a little more slowly. The soft and supple sensation became more distinct. 

It was breathtakingly sweet. Even though it was a cowardly, stolen kiss while the other was unconscious after months, he couldn’t help but taste it. Wishing the person wouldn’t wake. …….Or maybe he wished they would. If he saw their eyes at this moment, it might make him wet below. 

‘Wishing he wouldn’t wake up. Wishing he would wake up.’ 

Amidst the conflicting desires, Richard was licking those soft lips. Very slowly and gently. Carefully tapping the closed lips with his tongue. 

“…….―.”  

No. Not any further. This was as far as his limits allowed. 

Richard held his breath. Suppressing the rising desire with barely contained breaths, he slowly lifted his head. 

No further. If he did anything more from here, the thirst would undoubtedly consume him. The intense thirst was surging up to his jaw, threatening to engulf him at any moment. Even now, his heart was clamoring to bow his head again, to taste those lips just once more. But if he bowed his head now, he wouldn’t be able to stop the urge after that. 

To avoid losing these seconds of hellish sweetness that came once every few months, he had to leave immediately. 

As though shaking something off, or escaping, Richard turned and walked away. As he returned to his annex, like someone being pursued, he still couldn’t wash away the sweetness that seemed to clung to his lips. Damn it. He felt like he was aroused below.

As soon as he returned to the room and entered the bathroom, Richard realized that he had forgotten the medicine he had gone to get only after coming out. He clicked his tongue belatedly, but it was already too late. Even though he knew this would happen, he could only blame his own foolishness for not taking the medicine first as soon as he arrived. 

He couldn’t go to get it again. No, even if he brought it, it wouldn’t be of any use. No matter if he gulped down the whole bottle now, he would never fall asleep. 

However, trying to force himself to get some sleep, Richard turned off all the lights in the room except for one stand light. As he returned to bed, he also closed the laptop with the email window from Hans still open. 

Lying quietly on the dark and silent bed, he suddenly recalled Erich’s words. 

“Richard, whom everyone in the world envies. He who will live his life without ever envying or fretting over anyone.”

“……Absolutely not.” 

A laughter similar to self-mockery quietly echoed in the dark space. His already blackened insides were mixed in with his sighs.