He didn’t fall asleep, nor did he pass out, but his consciousness felt displaced. He was clearly still awake, but remembered nothing. Suffocatingly passionate kisses, the sucking and biting of his nipples until they were so red and swollen they stung even with the lightest touch, Richard’s penis thrusting in and out forcefully like punches to the stomach, ejaculating repeatedly inside him—all were just vague fragments of memory.

He didn’t know how much time had passed.

When he regained consciousness, Christoph was crying, moaning in a raw, hoarse voice. Every time Richard’s penis moved in and out inside him, making wet sounds, fluid flowed out from between them, soaking his thighs, buttocks, and even his waist.

And in the brief moment he became lucid again, Christoph saw it. The moment his scream, laced with pleasure, burst from his mouth. He was wrapping his legs tightly around Richard’s waist, swaying his hips to Richard’s rhythm, wildly as if dancing. He had ejaculated on his own without touching his penis. The sole stimulation had been Richard’s powerful thrusts inside him.

Only then did Christoph understand Richard’s words.

A body adapted to him. A body exclusively for him.

Christoph’s anus, just as Richard had said, was no longer an excretory organ, but a place for a penis. It was a penis in the sense that it contained a man’s penis, and simultaneously––––it was also a penis in the sense that merely stimulating it was enough to make him ejaculate.

“……, ……––!”

Christoph stared blankly at his own penis for a moment, then he winced. He burst into tears again.

His body could climax, receiving a man from behind without needing penile stimulation. When had he become like this?

“Don’t cry, Chris.”

Richard kissed Christoph’s crying eyelids. His voice, gentle and soft like a child-luring kidnapper’s flute, softly echoed in Christoph’s ear, on his cheek, on his eyes.

“Don’t cry. There’s nothing to cry about. Why are you crying?”

“You, ……––you, have, turned, me, into, ……––”

His sobbing made Christoph unable to articulate clearly. But Richard seemed to understand what he wanted to say. Richard chuckled softly.

“Yes. I’ve turned you into this. I am the one who trained your body to this extent.”

And then, Richard gently thrust his hips. His penis rubbed against Christoph’s intestinal walls, making him, who had just ejaculated, burst into tears again.

“You don’t like being trained to suit my body, Christoph?”

Richard slowly, then faster, thrusting his hips more and more forcefully, making Christoph continuously burst into tears. He pinched Christoph’s nipples, then kissed him with satisfaction when he saw him shiver and sway his hips.

“I’ve made your body adapt to me. That also means my body has also changed to suit you. Don’t you understand? ––––Just as I know how to make you aroused, you also know how to make me aroused.”

Richard thrust harder and harder. His penis swelled even more inside Christoph. Christoph panted from the feeling of being filled, but he still unconsciously swayed his hips to Richard’s rhythm. He didn’t realize his intestinal walls were gripping his penis tightly, until Richard said: “Even now”, then he became aware of it.

“That’s obvious. ……So don’t cry. ……Don’t cry anymore, Christoph. I really like you doing that. So I also like it when you’re happy.”

Richard licked the tears on Christoph’s cheek. He caressed him as if caressing something precious, full of love.

“You don’t like it? You don’t like me being satisfied when I have sex with you? Your body now is exactly what I desire.”

“You don’t like it?” – Richard whispered to Christoph. Christoph sobbed for a moment without uttering a word, but when Richard gently called his name once more: “Christoph”, he subtly shook his head.

It’s not like that. It couldn’t possibly be like that. Christoph wanted to see Richard happy. He had always wanted to see Richard’s radiant smile.

Christoph looked up at Richard, but tears blurred his vision. He couldn’t clearly see Richard’s face. He could only make out the contours of his face, and knew that he was smiling.
But if it was a happy smile.

If it was a sweet face, and it was truly happy, just like the voice whispering “Christoph” in his ear.

Then he didn’t hate it.

Even if his body had changed – becoming a person his former self wouldn’t have known – but if that was what Richard desired. If that made him so happy.

Richard hugged Christoph tightly. His voice trembled slightly, filled with happiness, as he whispered in Christoph’s ear.

“I will continue to train you. So that you can never be satisfied without me.”

Richard’s voice gradually became hoarse. His hip thrusts also became more powerful. Wet sounds echoed as Richard’s penis moved in and out inside Christoph. Though swollen to the point of imminent ejaculation, even though Christoph’s inside was wet and had expanded to its limit, it was still tight.

But in that place, perfectly adapted to each other, it seemed to be bringing ultimate pleasure to both. Christoph continuously hardened while crying, Richard, drenched in sweat, thrust his hips faster and faster. Both bodies clung tightly to each other. They were frenzied as if dancing.

“Christoph. You’ve changed me. I only desire you. Only you. So,”

“It’s your turn,” – Richard, as if he could no longer bear it, bit Christoph’s lip. And at the same time, the tempestuous hip thrusts suddenly stopped.

Richard ejaculated inside Christoph, where there was no longer any empty space, causing fluids to gush out profusely. He groaned with each sound, but continued to kiss Christoph without stopping.

Christoph cried in a daze. Then he tightly embraced his man. The one who only desired him. The one who, even after ejaculating and reaching the peak of desire, still lingeringly caressed, and gently kissed him.

**************

Hearing was the first sense to return. He heard faint voices.

It was Richard’s voice. But even though it was good to know it was Richard’s voice, that voice was cold and full of anger. He must have been on the phone. The voice was mixed with a buzzing mechanical sound……, ……Ah, it was that guy. The one Christoph only wanted to shoot in the head.

This was twice as bad. He didn’t want to hear his voice, nor did he want to wake up to Richard’s angry voice.

Christoph felt a heaviness in his heart as soon as he woke up, trying to force his still hazy, not-quite-awake head to function. Meanwhile, Richard was still sitting with his back to him, at the table, continuing his call.

“…… Take that damn thing away. Don’t ever send it again.”

[“What, you don’t like it? I thought Christoph would really like it if he tried it once.”]

“If you like it, take it and use it yourself.”

Richard’s voice became sharp. From that sharp voice, the devilishly perceptive person on the other end, even without knowing the full situation, had partially guessed. At least he knew how bad the atmosphere here was. Laughter echoed from the other end of the line.

[“Oh dear, something must have happened last night. I’m sorry. Truly sorry. Originally, I only intended to give well-meaning advice, but it seems things didn’t turn out that way. Because Taei isn’t foolish like that guy, he isn’t easily swayed by just a few words. I usually give that kind of advice without any special meaning. ——Anyway, you’ve had a tough time, Richard.”]

A lingering laugh followed, implying ‘because you have to take care of an idiot like that guy’. But the next words were no longer heard. Richard had hung up.

Christoph turned away, softly and quietly looking at his back. Annoyance radiated from that back.

“……”

His heart pounded heavily. His mouth was so dry that he had to swallow hard.

He must have heard the sound, so Richard’s shoulders subtly recoiled. Then he turned back.

“Are you awake? ……You slept for so long, I was wondering if I should wake you.”

Only upon hearing that quiet voice did Christoph realize the sunlight streaming into the room was high. It must be almost noon. And at the same time, Christoph looked at the man’s expression as he quietly looked down at him, and realized he had been awake all night.

For a long time after that, the room remained silent.

Christoph lay still on the bed, his eyes darting around, his lips tightly shut. Richard silently looked at Christoph as if choosing his words. But his eyes, as he looked at Christoph, held a hint of sadness, like a child probing.

Finally,

“……I tried to restrain myself.”

Richard began with a soft sigh.

“You were…… not used to the feeling of arousal during sex, it seemed you didn’t easily accept it, so I intended to slowly let you adapt to me. No matter how long it took, slowly. But then,”

Richard lowered his head. His gaze rested on something, and Christoph unconsciously followed it. On the bedside table. There……, was an item whose very shape he now didn’t even want to see. The damned item Riegrow had sent.

“It’s not that you don’t like that sensation, but that you don’t like me?”

His low voice was mixed with a sigh. Christoph frowned slightly as he looked at him. He looked at Christoph again.

“You keep trembling, feeling pleasure but avoiding it, is it because the person who gives you that sensation is me? Is it because you don’t like me?”

As soon as he heard that sad voice, as if all strength had left it, Christoph was speechless. Suddenly, he felt a burning heat inside him. That surging feeling was both painful and confused, but above all, it was anger.

Therefore, even though his muscles were tired and just moving a finger made his whole body ache, Christoph still tried to stretch out his trembling arm, reaching for anything within reach. ……Ironically, it was that damned vibrator.

“Don’t talk nonsense……!”

Christoph yelled through clenched teeth. Then he threw the item he was holding. The item flew at high speed and hit Richard’s head hard, who remained still even though he saw it coming, and then bounced off.

“If I didn’t like it, why would I do it! How many times have you and I done it! Who would do that with someone they don’t like hundreds of thousands of times!”

His throat was dry and sore every time he spoke, but he still couldn’t control his anger and yelled. Christoph struggled to sit up from the bed, where he thought he would lie motionless for life. He had great difficulty sitting up, leaning against the headboard, and glared fiercely at Richard.

“You yourself said that it was difficult because it was tight.”

Christoph hesitated for a moment then blurted out. Richard slightly raised an eyebrow as if he didn’t understand what he was saying. Christoph grew even more angry, his gaze at him appearing fiercer.

“You yourself said that every time we had sex, you had to endure it. Because I’m tight inside, it sometimes hurts, so I…… wanted you to be more comfortable and at ease, which is why I intentionally used that to widen——”

As he said this, his face flushed scarlet, but the anger that had flared up was not easily appeased. So Christoph continued to raise his voice at Richard, who was looking at him with a confused, slightly bewildered expression.

“What’s more, after sleeping with me, you even went into the bathroom to take care of yourself. You yourself didn’t find any pleasure in it, did you? So why are you getting angry at me! Is my desire the first priority, and yours second?! Don’t talk nonsense, for me it’s the opposite! That’s why I didn’t want to see you masturbate, I wanted you to be more satisfied, which is why I did that——”

It wasn’t because his anger had subsided that he stopped, but because his dry throat made him choke. Christoph clutched his sore, burning throat, unable to produce any sound but a hoarse breath, then fell silent. But he still didn’t take his eyes off Richard, his gaze still full of aggression.

Richard had a strange expression. His face, which had already shown remorse towards Christoph, now had something indescribable about it. Then he slightly frowned at Christoph’s aggressive gaze. He opened his mouth as if trying to explain.

“After sleeping with you, it’s true I masturbated…… but not because the quality wasn’t enough, rather, it was about the quantity……”

But Richard stopped mid-sentence, then fell silent. Then he looked at Christoph again with that strange expression. As if he were seeing an unbelievable reality. Or as if he were in a dream he didn’t want to wake from, so he felt uneasy.

“What about quantity, then? Just do as you please.”

Christoph clutched his hoarse throat, trying to speak aggressively. After all, it was only like a hoarse breath, but he thought Richard would understand. Whatever the voice, as long as it was his, Richard would understand.

Richard silently looked at Christoph. Then he slowly opened his mouth.

“As I please, huh?…… For example, last night, I found it just enough.”

“……”

Christoph immediately fell silent.

Last night. ……No, if it was that much, he couldn’t bear it.

Nothing was more shameful than taking back words immediately after speaking them, so he couldn’t just say ‘I was just joking’ right away, but his face paled slightly, not knowing what to do about his slip of the tongue.

Richard continuously watched Christoph intently, never taking his eyes off him, not even once. He observed every small expression on Christoph’s face, with a serious expression as if he wouldn’t miss any hidden sign within it. He watched, hoping that Christoph’s words truly held the meaning he was understanding. He also hoped that the fleeting expressions on Christoph’s face all held the exact meaning he was expecting.

Finally.

‘What now, it seems I misspoke, can I just take back one word,’

Richard stared at Christoph, who was agonizing over his thoughts with an expressionless face, then suddenly burst out laughing. He laughed soundlessly.

It was a smile like a blossoming flower bud. Therefore, Christoph momentarily forgot everything he was thinking, captivated by the corners of Richard’s eyes and lips. It was the smile Christoph had desperately yearned to see――the smile he had always wished he could gaze upon forever.

“Alright. Slowly is fine. After all, I intended to go slowly from the start. If you don’t want to, I won’t do it…….Just promise me one thing.”

Richard said casually then stopped. Although the smile had faded, its lingering warmth seemed to remain in the corners of his eyes and lips, making Christoph unable to look away. Richard continued to speak to Christoph.

“Only me. The one you will keep in your heart or this body, must only be me. Just promise me that. Then no matter what, I can bear it.”

Richard looked seriously at Christoph. After a long moment of looking at him, as if he would wait until Christoph opened his mouth to answer, Christoph then winced.

“……Don’t bear it. Don’t endure it, just tell me. We said we’d adapt together, didn’t we?”

Richard subtly raised an eyebrow. He nodded, but then impatiently asked: “So, what about the answer?” Christoph remained silent for a moment.

The promise about the one he could contain within his body or heart.

……It was a foolish promise. Because there was no need to promise anything. Because that had already become an obvious truth.

Christoph quietly looked at Richard then whispered: “Come here.” This time too, it was a hard-to-hear whisper, but he knew Richard would understand. The man stood up from the chair, then sat down on the edge of the bed, right next to Christoph.

And as soon as he sat within reach, Christoph pulled him closer. Richard’s eyes widened slightly, but he obediently allowed Christoph to pull him closer, then Christoph kissed him.

This was the answer. The answer to something that didn’t need a promise. And Richard, who stiffened as he received that answer, suddenly let out a soft breath. Then he cupped Christoph’s cheeks, and kissed him more deeply.

“……–.”

The kiss didn’t last long. Christoph was pressed down by Richard’s weight, and unable to bear his aching and exhausted body, he let out a moan. Hearing that groan, Richard quickly let him go.

But that short kiss was long and deep enough. Enough to soothe his heart.

“––––Sometimes I find myself truly dangerous. Whether working, or going anywhere, my mind is always only on you.”

Richard whispered softly. Christoph silently looked at Richard. He intended to say the thought that popped into his head ‘Coincidentally. Me too’, but then decided against it. Instead, he let out a soft sigh.

“We are slowly adapting to each other, so it’s alright. Living over thirty years incompatible, yet in just a few years we’ve become this compatible, sometimes I’m surprised. ……Sometimes, truly very surprised. There are times I find us strangely compatible.”

Christoph looked up into the air and gradually reminisced.

He really thought so.

Memories of the years before, when they lived as if they didn’t exist in each other’s eyes, had faded. Back then, they looked at each other with such clear negative emotions.

But in just a few years, a short period of time, a fraction of the time they were apart, they had been able to walk together like this. Now, it had become so familiar and natural that sometimes Christoph himself was surprised.

“And yet we will become even more compatible later, ……how wonderful that will be.”

Christoph ended with a whisper.

Richard looked at Christoph, who had lowered his head.

Later. More than now. Forever after.

“……Yes.”

Richard said softly. “Yes,” – He whispered once more then slowly leaned his head towards Christoph. Slowly but without hesitation.

Just before their lips touched, Christoph saw Richard smile. Then lips touched lips, he could no longer see his face, but it was the face Christoph loved so dearly.

He wanted to see it again.

But at this moment, the warmth from their touching lips was even more wonderful, so he thought he would look at that face later. Perhaps, before long, he would get to see it often.

[The End of Suite : Side of Diaphonic Symphonia]