“Today’s training session is over. Everyone, you’ve worked hard.”

As soon as the instructor finished speaking, soft and heavy sighs echoed from all directions. Naturally, Taeui was no exception. He let out a long breath and slumped to the ground where he stood.

“Oh, my God…….. I’m dying.”

He wiped the sweat from his forehead with his arm, which was soaked. However, he didn’t forget to check the time. Exactly 5 PM.

Now, the instructors would return to their offices to report the day’s events and have brief discussions. Afterward, they’d wrap up their work for the day, usually around 5:30 PM. That left about 30 minutes of free time.

The afternoon schedule included the assistant instructor, so in the morning, Taeui had closely escorted and protected Instructor Horgan, while in the afternoon, he participated in the training. Now that training had ended, he needed to return to be assistant instructor again.

More importantly, during the afternoon training, the assistant instructor worked in teams, so Taeui didn’t have to keep a close watch on the instructor. But in 30 minutes, it would be the commander’s personal time, meaning Taeui would have to carry out the duty his uncle assigned him – protecting the instructor.

“First, I’ll fill my stomach, then take a shower… Though that might not happen.”

If he hurried, he could still make it, but he didn’t want to rush through eating and showering in a time crunch.

Now resigned to feeling uncomfortable, he decided to eat his fill first and shower afterward.

After coming to this quick conclusion, Taeui lazily stood up from his sitting position. Just then, Qing walked by and grabbed him by the collar, pulling him to his feet.

“Come on, get up.”

“Cough…… Thanks for the help, but I can’t breathe.”

His collar had tightened around his neck, causing him to cough. Taeui rubbed his neck as he walked alongside Qing.

“Training here is always tough. You’ve held up well.”

“If you’re already saying that on the first day, it’s not a good sign. You know the difficulty level increases gradually. Today was just a warm-up.”

Even though Qing said that, fatigue was clearly showing on his face. It seemed like he wanted to rest more than food, as he muttered: “I’m going back to my room to rest for a bit.”

Just as Taeui stepped into the hallway, he saw another group finishing their training and pouring out from the room across. In the crowd, he spotted a familiar face – Alta – so he raised his hand in greeting. Alta enthusiastically raised his arm in return, his body drenched in sweat, but still full of energy as he approached.

“Hey, tough first day of training, huh? You and Qing are in the same squad?”

“Yeah, how about you?”

“As you can see.”

Suddenly, from the door Alta had just come through, Taeui noticed Carlo also stepping out. Carlo spotted him and waved as well.

“Looks like Qing’s heading back to rest. Carlo and I are planning to shower first and then hit the mess hall. You want to join us, Tay?”

“No, I’ll eat first. Gotta eat quickly, then go meet Instructor Horgan.”

Taeui tapped lightly on his wristwatch, prompting Alta to nod in understanding, an “Ah” escaping his lips.

“You’re having it rough, huh? Not much time to rest. Being a security officer isn’t easy, is it? If you’re lucky, you get assigned to a laid-back instructor, but if you’re stuck with a workaholic like Instructor Talban, you’re basically dead.”

Alta shuddered dramatically, as if terrified, and continued: “My roommate is an officer for Talban, and he’s always being worked to death—has to sleep past midnight and wake up before dawn.”

Next to him, Qing rubbed his tired eyes and asked indifferently: “What’s this Horgan guy like?”

“Uh, he’s…… alright, I guess so,” – Taeui replied without much thought.

Instructor Ronald Horgan’s job was more of a guide than a trainer. Although his workload wasn’t much different from the other instructors, it was hard to judge his work ethic compared to the rest. His competence was average – not exceptional, but not terrible either – just straight down the middle.

“As a superior, he’s not too bad. There’s nothing complicated about him……. but, to be fair, it’s only the first day, so I can’t say for sure.”

“True enough, but we’re only going to be working together for about half a month. How much can you really figure out in that time?”

Taeui smiled softly at Qing’s words and agreed: “Yeah, that’s true.”

He hoped that the rest of the days would pass as peacefully as today.

“Let’s hope everything goes smoothly without any trouble.”

“That’s not going to happen.”

Just as Taeui finished speaking, Carlo somehow approached unnoticed and spoke firmly from behind.

“Why not? Don’t jinx it like that.”

“I’m not guessing, I’m predicting based on facts.”

Carlo shook his head, his expression showing reluctance to even bring it up. He suddenly turned his gaze toward Taeui. The look confused Taeui, making him tilt his head in puzzlement. Carlo let out a deep sigh.

“Is it because of you?”

“What?”

The unexpected question made Taeui blink in confusion. Carlo clicked his tongue.

“If he were here as an instructor, at least during training you wouldn’t have to face him. But why did he come as a regular member of the training squad? That madman……. !”

Taeui fell silent. In that instant, everyone around them went quiet as well. No further explanation was needed; they all immediately thought of the same person. Taeui gave a bitter smile.

“…….. Have you had to face him today?”

“Not yet! But who knows when that’ll happen. During the training period, we’re bound to run into him at least once.”

“Probably…….. “

“Not ‘probably.’ Don’t forget, your team isn’t an exception, Tay.”

According to the training schedule, every team was supposed to encounter each other at least once during this period. Whether they liked it or not, it was inevitable.

Taeui scratched his head. He wondered where that ‘madman’ everyone in the camp was talking about was lurking. Surely, today some unfortunate team had already crossed paths with him. Some unlucky group had been assigned to his squad.

“Don’t be too hard on him. The unluckiest one here is Tay. He just got caught up in all this by chance.”

Qing stepped in to shield Taeui from Carlo, as if trying to protect him……. and while Taeui felt grateful, it wasn’t exactly a comforting feeling.
That’s right, when you think about it, it really is true—who else has it worse than him? We should probably be nicer to him. Hearing these scattered comments around him, Taeui tried to explain: “It’s not quite like that…”, but no one paid attention to his words.

Taeui wasn’t sure if he should feel thankful or sad about his teammates’ sympathy. He just quietly clicked his tongue.

“Anyway… I haven’t heard anyone say they’re bringing a .50 caliber pistol to try and kill him like before.”

“It’s only the first day. There are still plenty of days left.”

Carlo sitting right next to him, gave a bleak prediction. “We still don’t know what might happen” – he said. Qing clicked his tongue and looked at Taeui again with pity in his eyes, shaking his head.

“Tsk, it’s not like the old days when he was still in the European branch. Every time there was joint training, someone ended up dead. It’s been a few years, so there aren’t as many people with direct grudges against him anymore. It’s not like walking on a minefield like it used to be. In fact, a lot of people who joined in the last two or three years don’t even know anything about him.”

“Those who do know him don’t even want to mention his name” – Qing said.

Indeed, during the entire conversation, no one had called him by his name. Everyone avoided it, and Taeui understood why.

“Still, there are people holding grudges, so during outdoor night marches, you’d better be careful. Even if they know they can’t win face-to-face, someone might think that sneaking up on him could at least break a leg.”

“I know quite a few who’ve tried that……. Good luck.”

Taeui mumbled, recalling those who had attempted to break his leg, only to end up breaking their own limbs instead. Although things had gotten better compared to the past, not much had changed. Tsk, for someone who sowed resentment everywhere he went, it was no surprise that there were always people trying to take him down.

“………”

As they say ‘you reap what you sow’ and most of it was his own doing. But still, Taeui couldn’t shake his discomfort. He couldn’t criticize the others, but in the end, he knew he would side with him.

“But Taeui, what you really need to worry about is staying far away from that troublemaker so you don’t get caught in the crossfire.”

“What?”

“They might target you to get to him, so you’re the one who needs to be more careful” 

Alta muttered as if it was no big deal: “Oh, if that’s the case, Tay, someone as innocent as you might be in more danger than the guy with all the grudges”. Hearing that, Taeui blinked in confusion and replied: “What? Me?”

“That’s so unfair! It doesn’t make any sense!” – Taeui finally realized the seriousness of the situation and yelled in frustration, but no one paid attention to his protests. All he got in response were a few indifferent chuckles, with someone casually saying: “Well, who told you to pick the wrong side?”

**************************

The cafeteria hall was packed.

Ah, this wasn’t surprising—it was right after working hours. Everyone was tired and starving after the grueling training session, so it was only natural that the place would be flooded with people looking for food. There weren’t enough seats, and there wasn’t enough time to sit down and enjoy a proper meal.

There weren’t enough seats, and there wasn’t enough time to sit down for a proper meal. Glancing at his watch and realizing he still had some time left, Taeui grabbed two sandwiches and a carton of milk before leaving the mess hall. Finding a seat inside was nearly impossible, so he figured it would be better to look for a chair in the hallway or sit on the steps.

“Huh, ……Taeui?”

A slightly hesitant voice called out from behind him. As Taeui was searching for a spot, he turned around and saw Yoon Changoh looking his way.

Yoon Changoh was sitting alone on a bench near the central staircase. Once he realized it was indeed Taeui, he smiled warmly and waved, holding a sandwich similar to Taeui’s.

“Why are you sitting here eating just a sandwich?” – Taeui asked as he sat down next to Changoh, conveniently ignoring the fact that he was also holding just a sandwich. Changoh gave a weary smile.

“I’m too tired to eat much. Just wanted to have a little something to tide me over.”

“Even a captain in the Korean army gets this worn out? How are you going to protect the country like this?”

“So what? It’s not like I have subordinates here.”

If there were soldiers under him, no matter how exhausted he was, even if he could barely swallow a bite, Captain Yoon would have to put on a show of eating a hearty meal in front of them. He smiled softly and took a bite of his sandwich. Taeui chuckled, eating his own sandwich beside him.

(A commander has to set an example, lead the soldiers. He can’t show any dislike for the food or an inability to eat—it’s about raising morale. Even if it’s just a single grain of rice, that grain represents the blood of the people.)

“You should still eat more. You’ve got to hang in there for another two weeks” – Taeui said.

“And what about you?”

“Oh, I’ve got work to do. Once I finish eating, I have to head out right away.”

Though he knew he still had some time, Taeui habitually glanced at his watch. “Busy, huh, Taeui?” – Yoon Changoh mumbled while chewing on a piece of bread.

“How was your training today? Are you managing okay?”

“Yeah, it was tough. Felt like I was being tortured on the training grounds all day.”

Yoon Changoh let out a long sigh. Hearing that, Taeui just chuckled.

He and Yoon Changoh had known each other since their time at the officer academy. While they weren’t particularly close friends, they were familiar enough to avoid any awkwardness when they crossed paths again. Maybe it was a sign of getting older, Taeui mused.

“How about the others? Are they doing well?”

“Yeah, they’re doing fine. Some lost touch after they were discharged, but overall, everyone’s doing well.”

“A lot of them left the military, huh?”

“Yeah. Those who realized this path wasn’t for them left while they were still young to find another direction. The older you get, the harder it is to switch careers.”

Yoon Changoh mumbled again: “Unless you retire with stars on your shoulders”. Taeui simply nodded in response. He understood that the structure of society hadn’t changed much in the past few years, so everything remained the same.

“And what about you? Do you think you fit into military life?”

Taeui thought back to Yoon Changoh during their academy days. He had a laid-back personality that didn’t seem suited for the strict hierarchical nature of military life. When faced with the question, Yoon Changoh just shrugged lightly.

“To be honest, I don’t have much talent for anything outside the military. And besides, I’m married now—can’t exactly let my wife go hungry, can I?”

Though his words carried a certain weight, Yoon Changoh’s tone didn’t suggest that he was begrudgingly continuing his service. It seemed like he was doing just fine. Taeui felt a small wave of relief and leaned his head back against the wall.

“Yeah, if it were just you starving, that’d be one thing, but you can’t let your wife go hungry……. Married, huh……..”

That was something absent in Taeui’s life. Yoon Changoh seemed to sense the same thing, awkwardly falling silent. While he wasn’t the type to spew offensive words like Kim Jeongpil, who would blurt out ‘gay bastard’ the moment they met, Yoon Changoh was still an ordinary person, thinking like any typical person living in society. He must have felt a bit uncomfortable inside.

Taeui gazed up at the ceiling, slowly chewing his bread in silence, then suddenly turned to look at Yoon Changoh. He smiled gently.

“Are you happy?”

“Huh? Well…….. yeah, I guess.”

Yoon Changoh hesitated for a moment, then smiled awkwardly before answering.

“But it’s not always happiness, you know. There are tough times too. It’s because your life is no longer entirely your own. You have to give up things you love and force yourself to do things you don’t…….. But I guess that’s part of the responsibility, and you just have to accept it. Everyone probably thinks about that when they get married.”

Yoon Changoh had put on a bit more weight around his chin and belly than Taeui remembered, giving him a more mature appearance. At least, that’s how Taeui saw him.

“Changoh, you…….”

“What?”

Yoon Changoh turned to Taeui with a warm smile.

“You’re going to make a great uncle.”

“…….. Not a good husband or a good father, but an uncle?!”

Yoon Changoh muttered in disbelief and lightly tapped the back of Taeui’s head. “That hurts, you know, buddy. If I’m an uncle, then you are too. Marriage is the standard for becoming a middle-aged uncle, so I’m never going to become one”. The two continued to exchange playful banter until the atmosphere gradually quieted down.

After a moment of silence, Yoon Changoh softly muttered,

“You……. You’re probably never going to get married, right?”

“Yeah.”

Without much thought, Taeui answered immediately. Hearing that, Yoon Changoh smiled, a hint of sadness in his expression: “I thought so.”

“And where’s Kim Jeongpil now? At a time like this, he’d probably be spouting something like ‘A gay guy talking about marriage, really?’ at least once.”

“Haha… He went to get drinks. It’s probably packed at the mess hall by now.”

“He’s probably getting crushed underfoot somewhere. Hopefully, someone tramples him good.”

“Haha, well, Jeongpil isn’t that bad of a person…”

“To me, he’s pretty awful.”

Yoon Changoh seemed ready to defend his friend, but quickly realized it wouldn’t work on Taeui, so he clamped his mouth shut and changed the subject.

“You’re okay with not getting married? The person……., um…….. you’re dating now, is everything still going well?”

Hearing Yoon Changoh stumble over his words, Taeui couldn’t respond immediately this time. Should he say everything was fine? How should he answer……. He wasn’t sure what to base his reply on. Depending on how he framed it, the answer could shift completely.

“Uh……. yes, everything’s fine.”

Taeui chose the safest answer, feeling that if he said – ‘Lately, I’ve been feeling a bit threatened’ – the conversation would drag on endlessly. Yoon Changoh nodded: “Hmm, I see.”

“What’s this person like? A good person?”

“…….Yeah.”

Once again, if Taeui said – ‘By general standards, no one should come within a hundred miles of them, but if I think hard enough, I can see some good qualities’ – the conversation would either end abruptly or become unnecessarily complicated. So, he opted for another safe answer. He then reflected for a moment on how he had become so desensitized and comfortable with lying like this.

“Have you been together long? Does he treat you well?”

“Yeah, it’s been a few years. And yeah, he treats me really well.”

This time, at least, it wasn’t entirely a lie. Taeui had been living with this person for several years, and compared to how they treated others, it was shocking how gentle they were with him.

……. But it was probably best to wrap up this conversation soon. The more they talked, the more a dull ache spread in his chest.

“It’s honestly fine……. we just live a normal life. More than that…….”

“Ugh—damn it, why am I sitting here listening to a gay guy brag about his lover, Yoon Changoh? My ears are getting dirty.”

Just as Taeui was about to change the subject.

*BANG* – A heavy sound echoed as the chair next to him was kicked hard, sending vibrations through the floor.

The moment Taeui heard the words – “Ugh—damn it” – he paused, only turning his head after the sound of the chair being kicked died away. Standing there, with a scowl on his face and two juice boxes in hand, was Kim Jeongpil. He glared venomously at Taeui. Taeui met his gaze and furrowed his brow in response.

“I thought today would be a nice break from seeing your ugly face……”

“I’m the one with the ugly face, you piece of trash.”

Of course, he showed up. Taeui had expected it. He clicked his tongue, his lips curling into an irritated smirk.

“Why do you two have to argue every time you meet? Cut it out; we’re in public.”

Yoon Changoh quickly sat down between them, trying to diffuse the tension. People walking by in the hallway shot them curious glances.

Taeui sighed in frustration and stood up. Though he still had time to rest, it was probably best to leave now. Not out of fear—just to avoid the headache.

“Well, see you later, Changoh” – Taeui said briefly before turning to walk away. But almost immediately, a loud shout rang out behind him: “HEY!”

“Have some shame. What’s so great about having a gay lover that you feel the need to brag about it in public?”

This irritating pile of trouble, no matter how much you try to avoid it, always rolls up right in front of you……. Taeui spun halfway around, locking eyes with Kim Jeongpil. A sarcastic smile tugged at his lips.

“Still better than being proud of your premature ejaculation.”

“You bastard…….!”

Furious, Kim Jeongpil hurled one of the juice boxes straight at Taeui. It flew in a perfect arc, smacking the side of Taeui’s head before bouncing off. The box burst, spraying juice everywhere.

“……..”

Juice dripped from Taeui’s hair and soaked into his shirt.

Should he turn this situation around right here and now? But he doesn’t have time to get into a fight. He should just leave and deal with this later, but it felt like his feet were glued to the ground, unwilling to move.

“……―.”

Taeui took a deep breath – ‘Namo Amitabha Buddha, namo…’ – Alright. Let’s just pretend I’m bragging about my lover. I’ve got someone like Ilray to show off too, so why should I tolerate this nonsense? That’s right, this petty stuff isn’t worth it.

But still.

Taeui took another deep breath. He slowly lowered his gaze from the ceiling, until he was staring directly at Kim Jeongpil. Then, he flashed a bright smile.

Taken aback by the unexpected grin, Kim Jeongpil’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. Taeui stepped closer, casually draping an arm over Jeongpil’s shoulders in a friendly manner. Then, in a calm and slow voice, he spoke clearly in English.

“Jeongpil~.”

“…―?! What the hell is this…?”

“It’s not my fault that Changoh didn’t return your feelings. Be a man and let it go. You look pathetic like this.”

“What did you say?!”

Right in front of the crowded mess hall during peak hours, amidst the tense atmosphere and exchange of words, someone got splashed with juice, drawing even more curious stares from passersby.

“What’s he saying? Wow, I heard they were old enemies, but now that I think about it, this feels more like a love rivalry. Is this a lover’s quarrel?” – The murmurs of the crowd reached Kim Jeongpil’s ears, and he stood there frozen for a few seconds, finally realizing what was happening.

Panic struck him as he quickly looked around, stammering: “No, no, that’s not it!”. He suddenly whipped around to glare at Taeui with hatred in his eyes.

“You bastard! What did you just say?!”

“Sorry, Changoh” – Taeui said, ignoring Kim Jeongpil entirely and calmly apologizing to Yoon Changoh, who still looked bewildered, having no clue what was going on. 

“You’re married now, so no need to worry about your love life being disrupted.”

“YOU SON OF A—”

Kim Jeongpil, furious, lunged forward and grabbed Taeui by the collar. It was only then that Taeui turned his head, throwing him a mocking glance.

“Well, who told you to mess with someone first, only to hear what you didn’t want to, you idiot…”