/Flashback/

‘Although we cannot be born on the same day of the same month of the same year, we vow to die on the same day of the same month of the same year…’

Taeui unconsciously muttered the lines from the book. While lying lazily rolling around in the yard on a lazy afternoon, he picked up the book that Kyle had been reading and set it down temporarily when he went somewhere for a moment. Without bothering to look at the title, he fumbled his way through the German sentences and had only read a few lines when he exclaimed: ‘Ah, this is the Peach Garden Oath!’ nodding in agreement. It truly is a classic of classics, but it was impressive to see that the German edition had been published so long ago, making him quietly marvel as he looked at the entire book.

‘What is this, dying on the same day and month, sounds like a marriage vow, doesn’t it?’

At that moment, Ilay emerged from the pool, splashing water everywhere, and as he dried his head with a towel, he approached. Taeui immediately hid the book behind his back, wary that water might splash onto the book that Kyle cherished. He widened his eyes, watching Ilay with caution.

‘Sounds scary… That’s a brotherhood oath. [Romance of the Three Kingdoms*], haven’t you read it?’

‘Aah…… so it’s the scene where three men huddle together and swear things that not even a bride and groom might say.’

‘……’

It’s surprising to describe such a touching scene this way.

Taeui felt a bit bewildered, so he lightly licked his lips and gently placed the book on the table. If Kyle heard this, he would certainly jump up and strongly object, saying that you shouldn’t insult a classic.

‘A vow that will never come true, what’s the point of it. Or maybe the meaning is that if one person dies, the others will follow?’

‘Indeed, in ancient East Asian countries, there was the practice of following someone to the grave, a custom that’s hard to understand.’ – Ilay shook his head and sat down in a chair. He didn’t bother to dry his wet hands and immediately picked up the book, flipping through the pages with little interest. (Taeui could imagine Kyle’s cry of distress later on.)

Taeui mumbled: ‘I don’t quite agree with the custom of following someone to the grave, but…’, puffing his cheeks in displeasure.

‘But anyway, so what. It’s still great. That Peach Garden Oath, I really like it.’

Ilay flipped through the first few pages and murmured: ‘Hmm’. He then glanced at Taeui while skimming through the lines.

‘Do you want to live like that too?’

‘Hmm? Ah, not to the extent of giving up my current life for that life, but just speaking of the meaning of that passage, it’s lucky to meet someone who makes you think about that, isn’t it? I mean someone you can bond your life with.’

Taeui mumbled as he picked up a beer can that was situated amid large tree roots protruding from the ground. ‘Hmmm’ – Ilay nodded as if he understood, but not entirely. While flipping through more pages, his eyes suddenly curved slightly with meaning.

‘Then try doing it.’

‘Huh?’

‘As it happens, Peter planted a peach tree in the inner yard.’

Ilay jerked his chin toward the inner yard. Taeui looked at the peach tree, although he couldn’t see it from here, then turned back and gazed blankly at Ilay. Seeing the faint smile on his face for some reason made Taeui chuckle spontaneously. This person sometimes unexpectedly made surprising jokes. But really, it wasn’t too bad at all.

‘Oh, yes, why not. They even caught a black bull and a white horse to set up an altar.’

Taeui stretched his body and added: ‘For drinks, beer is just fine.’ He thought that a lazy afternoon to joke about such inconsequential stories wasn’t bad at all.

Just then, something caught Taeui’s eye.

‘……But before that.’

The fleeting smile on Taeui’s face faded. He quietly turned his head, avoiding Ilay’s gaze, and muttered.

‘Perhaps you should worry about Kyle first. He’s just standing there in a daze, looking at the soaked book in your hands behind you.’

‘Huh?’ – Ilay turned his head.

Right there, Kyle had just stepped into the yard, and he immediately froze, staring intently at the book in Ilay’s hands, unable to utter a word.

‘Here you go.’ – He said indifferently as he handed the book back to Kyle, but Kyle’s hand trembled as he took it. Perhaps at this moment, somewhere, someone unknowingly made a sworn brotherhood with Kyle.

/End Flashback/

*************************

It seemed quite heavy.

When Taeui opened his eyes, he saw Ilay lying on top of him, pressing all his weight down on him. He took a deep breath, and that caused Ilay’s body to slowly rise and fall with his breathing.

“Not having a nightmare is already fortunate…….”

Taeui recalled that Ilay had mentioned he often had nightmares. He wondered if Ilay slept well last night.

Taeui remained still, only slightly tilting his head to one side to observe Ilay’s face. His face looked so peaceful in sleep, his breathing slow and even. At least, there seemed to be no nightmares. It seemed his sleep was better now.

Taeui sighed and gently stroked Ilay’s bare back.

But it was indeed heavy. Couldn’t he move a little? Or if he turned over, he might end up lying on top of Ilay, which would be less suffocating. Although it might wake Ilay up.

After some consideration, Taeui decided to do nothing. No matter how heavy and suffocating it was, it wasn’t unbearable. Just…

“…….”

He suddenly felt a pain in his lower back. Immediately after, he felt that the lying position wasn’t comfortable, and then…

“…This guy still hasn’t pulled out…!”

Taeui startled and opened his eyes wide.

In an awkward position with his legs spread out like a frog, Taeui was still connected to Ilay, who was sleeping soundly on top of him. Although almost numb and without sensation, each slight movement prompted discomfort, along with a wet and sticky feeling.

Perhaps because it was already morning, he sensed the object inside him was semi-erect, Taeui opened his mouth in shock but couldn’t utter a word.

‘This damned jerk, how could he do this to the point of life and death? Continuing while I was no longer conscious? At the very least, he should tidy up before sleeping! Sleeping while still inside, what am I supposed to do today! Even though I mentally prepared to suffer all day, must I die today?’

Taeui silently cursed a stream at Ilay’s peaceful sleeping face. Not just silently; he intended to curse aloud too, but when he opened his mouth to scold, seeing that serene face made him hesitate for a few seconds, and he could only sigh “Aiyo” then fell silent.

He glanced at the clock on the bedside table. It was still quite some time before work started. He thought he had slept deeply because the last time he checked the hour was around four in the morning, so he only slept about 2-3 hours.

Severely sleep-deprived and with his body in a poor state, but he decided to endure a little more today.

Taeui gave up trying to sleep again.

Thinking back, today was the last workday of the week. The training schedule would conclude on Sunday, but the practical training ended on Saturday. Additionally, the last program on Saturday was a theoretical lecture, so today was the last day of real physical training.

A long day, marking the end of half a month and all the troubles with Ilay.

“…….”

Taeui turned his head to look at Ilay.

“True, someone like him, making people soft-hearted at strange times…….”

Seeing the bandage on Ilay’s shoulder, who was holding him tightly, Taeui clicked his tongue and gently rubbed his shoulder.

Suddenly, a strange feeling arose. Like having just gone through a long dream.

His dark gaze occasionally directed at him in silence, a dangerous voice whispering that he had a troubling dream, or stubborn and twisting demands for him to say he would always stay by his side no matter what……. Everything suddenly flooded back into his mind.

“…….”

Taeui didn’t think that the man named Ilay Riegrow had anything human enough in him to worry about loss. Perhaps Ilay’s inhumanly defiant nature had gradually faded without him even realizing it.

Taeui wasn’t sure what to call this feeling either.

Joy――well, not quite. If one had to define the emotion, it would be closer to joy than sadness, but that word doesn’t accurately describe his feelings. It’s not joy, but a feeling of cherished compassion and pride, intertwining to create an emotion difficult to name.

Taeui glanced over Ilay’s face.

Thick eyebrows, a straight nose, full lips, and a face that was both delicate and sharp. Add to that the short hair that fell naturally in disarray.

“…….This man is so handsome that he captivates at first sight……”

‘But why is my mind in such a mess?’ – Taeui thought to himself. (If someone heard this, like his uncle Changin or any other acquaintance, they would remain silent for a moment and say: ‘Of course, he’s not ugly, but saying you’re in love at first sight is probably just your bean pod view*.’)

(*콩깍지 (bean pod): Appears in the phrase ‘콩 깍지 가 씌이다’ (covered by a bean pod), with a similar meaning to the saying ‘love is blind’. Indicating that Taeui is partial to Ilay, everyone.)

At that moment, suddenly he saw it. The corner of the man’s peacefully closed lips unexpectedly curved into a smile.

“…….. Hey, if you’re awake, open your eyes.”

“I’m not awake. Let’s pretend I didn’t hear anything, so go ahead and keep talking…. Even if you say anything, it probably won’t be kind after that ‘handsome’ remark, will it.”

The black eyes flashed with amusement beneath those dark lashes.

“If you’re awake, move away. Who told you to leave ‘it’ there and sleep like that.”

‘Could it ever not close properly again?’ – Just the thought made Taeui anxious and weary. He gently tapped Ilay’s arm.

Ilay seemed to freeze for a moment, then reluctantly moved away from Taeui. The object that had been filling Taeui’s body resisted for a while before fully sliding out, causing a painful moment as what had been kept inside all night was removed, so Taeui let out a soft moan and winced.

“Haa…… Whether it’s from a stroke, exhaustion, or any other reason, it seems my death will always be related to you.”

Worried about his lower body which was sore and drained of energy, Taeui sighed and mumbled. Meanwhile, as Ilay was about to lie down next to him, he suddenly stopped. And looked down at Taeui intently. Taeui glanced at him…….. Oh no, he’s about to turn negative again.

He pulled Ilay’s neck closer and gently placed a consoling kiss on his lips.

“…….But I will never die by your hand.”

Ilay remained silent for a moment without responding to Taeui’s words. The face that was just comfortable and cheerful suddenly turned cold, making Taeui click his tongue and feel disheartened by that reaction.

“All right, all right, I get your feelings, but it’s still a problem with no clear solution.”

Then……… as if suddenly recalling something, Taeui blurted out the thought that had just popped into his head, even if it was just a jest:

“Or, alright,……. how about this? I’ll say: if I die, you have to die too.”

“Even if we’re not born on the same day of the same month, at least if we die on the same day, you’ll have to reconsider when you intend to harm me” – Taeui joked, knowing that this thought wouldn’t be very effective.

“Oh, need to prepare a peach tree, a black cow, a white horse, and…….. beer too.” – Taeui mumbled and then laughed at his own joke.

“Oh, this is just a joke… Anyway, I—”

“Agree.”

“That doesn’t mean I plan to run away or anything, but……… Huh?”

Initially, Taeui didn’t fully grasp the meaning of that unexpectedly succinct response, so he glossed over it, but it was only after a beat that he froze and replied in confusion with silence.

At this moment, Taeui could only look up at Ilay, blinking a few times. Ilay bent down and gave him a gentle kiss. When their lips touched, Ilay softly murmured as if speaking to himself: “Right, there’s that way too. Why didn’t I think of it sooner.” and chuckled softly, showing amusement as if mocking himself for having overlooked it all this time.

“That’s a good idea. Alright, let’s go with that.”

“Huh? …What?”

“For whatever reason, if Jeong Taeui dies, then Ilay Riegrow will also die. ――Yes, that’s a great idea.”

Ilay’s warm hand rested on Taeui’s cheek. That hand gently caressed in an unbelievably tender way, so unexpectedly gentle. “Yes, exactly.” – Ilay’s voice carried warmth and cheerfulness, making it sound more genuine than ever.

“Oh……um, I was just kidding… But if you like that idea, it’s fine……”

Taeui stammered and blinked in utter bewilderment. Where did the person who once mocked the three brothers under the peach tree go? Is this the same Ilay, who is now grinning and repeating their pledge, right here?

“……”

Taeui was stunned, confused, surprised, and found it a bit funny for a moment, then looked at Ilay and chuckled.

Just like Taeui said before, if a promise that could never come true could still bring peace to someone’s heart, that’s bad enough. If there’s nothing left to hold onto, a loose promise is fine.

“Alright, I guess I have to contact Alain.”

Ilay was kissing Taeui’s lips, cheeks, and forehead successively and then suddenly muttered something to himself. Taeui slightly closed his eyes as Ilay’s lips touched his eyelids, then opened them in confusion at the sound of the familiar name.

“Alain? The one who always smiles in Frankfurt? Why?”

“He’s the contact point. Have to ask him to pass the message to the Anti-Riot unit to receive the commission.”

“Huh? Suddenly receive what commission?”

“Just to be sure. From the moment Jeong Taeui’s death is confirmed, eliminate Ilay Riegrow by any necessary means.”

“Those guys work quite efficiently, if they bring a whole squad and sneakily ambush, even I would have a hard time handling it.” – Ilay said such things. And under him, the smiling face of Taeui suddenly faded. Instead, a strange expression appeared.

“Huh…?”

“Alright, I feel much better now.”

“Don’t feel better because of something like that! No, I mean, YAA! Wait a minute. Why do such troublesome things? Just die by your own hands!…….. Do it yourself! Yourself!!!”

Taeui pushed Ilay away and jumped off the bed. The peaceful morning had disappeared, leaving only a heavy atmosphere with a bleak and grim prospect. (Though perhaps only Taeui felt that way because during that time, Ilay was still happily smiling.)

Uh, wait, since when did the thing about you dying before him become an obvious fact…?

That thought crossed his mind, but it didn’t matter anymore. That wasn’t what needed attention right now.

Of course, people can easily say things like ‘If you die, I die too’, when hearing those words, and while Taeui had casually agreed, he truly didn’t wish for that to happen. (Honestly. Even if one plants an apple tree and suddenly dies, and after death, how the world changes doesn’t matter to them anymore.)

“Right, of course, I don’t intend to have others do that―because entrusting my life to someone else doesn’t feel good, but in a rare case, if I go crazy or end up in a situation where I can’t commit suicide, wouldn’t it be very troublesome?”

“No, I don’t think you need to think that far ahead…… Why plan for such a despairing future?”

“Because it is a despairing future.”

What a clever answer to a stupid question.

Taeui froze with his mouth slightly agape, staring at Ilay.

Sometimes Ilay is really hard to figure out. It’s impossible to understand what he thinks, or how his thought process forms. But Taeui didn’t expect Ilay could deviate from norms to this extent.

Or perhaps, is it all caused by him?

“……. Then make another request…” – Taeui sighed and muttered. Ilay raised an eyebrow expectantly.

“The other way around. If you die, then I will die too.”

From before, Taeui never thought about such a thing. He never dared to say words like: ‘If you die, I’ll die too’ or ‘I can’t live without you’. Because those are words that are only seen in movies―he never imagined it. Because he always thought it didn’t exist in reality. Ah, right, until a few seconds ago, he still thought that.

But what if it became a reality?

……. Knowing it was really silly, but he thought it wouldn’t matter if he followed that line of thinking. Consider it the price to pay for the surprise of this man, something he still couldn’t fully understand even after living together for so many years.

What to do, if this continues, perhaps that ‘shell of beans’ might get thicker and thicker.

In front of Taeui, who was half-seriously thinking, Ilay just shrugged and turned his neck nonchalantly and replied: “Well, no need” The sound of his joints clicking was heard *Crack, crack*

“I think there’s no need to add that requirement.”

“What? You mean, anyway, I’ll die before you?”

Taeui frowned. He would never say words like: “Even if you die, I’ll live long to remember you”…….,…… That Taeui was sure of. Ilay absolutely had no surprise in that matter.

And as he predicted, Ilay nodded indifferently and took it for granted.

“Mm-hmm. As long as you live to wait for me, I’ll definitely come back no matter what happens.”

“…….”

That was a touching line, which in other circumstances could become a romantic statement. But hearing Ilay talk about having someone kill him made the statement create a scene as if stepping out from a horror movie…….

But then.

“Alright. Definitely.”

Taeui slowly relaxed his eyebrows, genuinely hoping Ilay would keep that promise.

The fear of loss does not belong solely to this man. The persistence of human life, regardless of how enduring it may be, will culminate in a day that is undoubtedly terrible and full of suffering.

Ilay watched Taeui intently and then laughed. That’s right, his whispered voice became more convincing than ever, causing Taeui to laugh along.

Their smiles quickly merged into a kiss. Their lips gently brushed against each other and sweetly teased, making Taeui feel ticklish. But during the kiss, he suddenly stopped. Ilay noticed it and looked down with a questioning look, raising one eyebrow.

“Wait. Stop.”

With a serious face, Taeui pushed Ilay away. Ilay’s eyebrows raised even higher, revealing some dissatisfaction. Taeui glared back at him with a look of discomfort.

“Don’t look at me like that. It’s all your fault. —I have to go to the restroom before things get uncomfortable. My stomach hurts.”

Ilay looked at him without saying anything. His gaze shifted down to between Taeui’s legs, where traces of his gift from the previous night were slowly oozing. And he whispered a barely audible: sor-ry.

**********************************

*Romance of the Three Kingdoms is a famous Chinese historical novel attributed to Luo Guanzhong, written during the 14th century. The novel dramatizes the turbulent years at the end of the Han Dynasty and the Three Kingdoms period in Chinese history, covering significant events from around 184 AD to 280 AD. It focuses on the power struggles among the warlords and states of Wei, Shu, and Wu, each aiming to unify the country under their control.