When Jeong Taeui opened his eyes, the afternoon sunlight was already streaming into the room through the window.

He sat blankly on the bed for about ten seconds, blinking, and the first thought that crossed his mind was: ‘Ah, that’s right, I arrived in Berlin yesterday’. Next, upon hearing vague voices echoing from downstairs, the second thought came to him: ‘Ah, that’s right, he’ll be here around noon today’.

How many years has it been?

The last time he came to Berlin, Jeong Taeui hadn’t met him either—it must have been 3 or four 4 years ago. The older one gets, the faster time seems to fly by. Even though it had been three or four years, it felt as if they had met just the day before. Nevertheless, it was still nice to see him again.

Taeui jumped out of bed and walked out of the bedroom. The voices from downstairs became clearer. Amid the mixed chatter of two or three people, the lazy and cold voice of Kyle, matching the atmosphere of this villa, hadn’t changed.

“Christoph, you’re here――”

As Taeui ruffled his messy hair and started cheerfully calling out a familiar name while descending the stairs, he stopped midway. The people in the living room all fell silent, looking up at the staircase.

There were four people sitting around the tea table in the living room.

The host, Kyle, Ilay, who had returned to Berlin with Jeong Taeui yesterday, and Christoph, who Jeong Taeui had heard was arriving back in Berlin this morning. Sitting next to Christoph was Richard. As always, whenever they met, the man was impeccably dressed, neat and without a single flaw.

“Long time no see.”

Richard was the first to lift his head and greet Taeui with a brief hello. “Yes, it’s been a while” – Taeui replied and continued descending the stairs.

They were probably enjoying afternoon tea. On the table, there were fragrant scones and black tea. Kyle called out loudly: “Rita, another cup of tea for me.” Meanwhile, Taeui sat down in the empty seat between Ilay and Christoph.

Although he had heard that Christoph would return to Berlin around noon after a weekend trip to Dresden and would stop by Kyle’s villa briefly, he hadn’t expected that the other man would come along as well.

Taeui took a sip of tea from the cup in front of Ilay and then glanced at Christoph and Richard. Suddenly, his eyes met Christoph’s, who had been silently drinking tea. As Taeui smiled, Christoph immediately turned his face away.

Why does he seem so unhappy? It’s probably not because of me – there’s no reason for it – perhaps he just had a bad moment with the other person.

Taeui quietly glanced back and forth between Christoph and Richard, sensing an underlying tense and uncomfortable atmosphere between them.

It had been years since they last met, yet nothing had changed. At least Christoph had grown his bangs out a little longer, but Richard hadn’t changed at all – not a single hair out of place. Well, if you looked closely, there seemed to be a faint new wrinkle around his eyes, but somehow, he still looked exactly the same as before. Maybe that was because――.

As Kyle enthusiastically chatted away, Richard sat rubbing his arm and quietly chimed in. Suddenly, he looked over at Taeui. Their eyes met instantly.

“Is there something you want to say?”

It was still the polite, yet unfriendly tone. Taeui just waved his hand at Richard, thinking to himself that even his way of speaking hadn’t changed.

“No, it’s just that…… it’s been so long, and you’re exactly the same. Haven’t changed a bit, it’s almost like……”

“Huh……?”

Taeui stopped mid-sentence, still smiling. Richard seemed a bit intrigued by what he was about to say and urged him to continue.

“It seems like he’s thinking you’re like a vampire. As if you wouldn’t bleed even if you were stabbed.”

Before Taeui could respond, Ilay chimed in, leaving Taeui flustered as he hastily denied: “Ah, no, that’s not what I meant……”, and quickly took a gulp of tea to fill the awkward silence.

It seemed he had lived with this guy for too long. Now, the guy could even read his thoughts.

Richard raised an eyebrow, then let out a soft laugh.

“Ha ha, that’s impossible. Someone who’s always around a person who can bleed like a waterfall yet doesn’t die—why would you compare me to a vampire?”

Yes, of course, that couldn’t be true.

Even after years apart, Richard still made Taeui feel uncomfortable. Polite and courteous, but underneath that exterior was a sense of dislike, and perhaps that’s why everything felt even more awkward.

Come to think of it, from the very beginning, he hadn’t liked me much. If I had to think about why――.

“So, how long are you staying this time?”

At that moment, Christoph suddenly spoke up.

His expression was still cold and indifferent as usual. In fact, the way he glanced at Taeui even exuded dissatisfaction, as if he wanted Taeui to disappear right away.

“I don’t know. How long should I stay?”

“I’ll be going to Johannesburg tomorrow.”

“What, YOU’RE LEAVING SO SOON?!”

As soon as Ilay answered Taeui’s question, both Kyle and Christoph exclaimed simultaneously. Taeui had expected Kyle’s reaction because he always seemed regretful whenever his somewhat quirky younger brother only stayed for two days before leaving – Taeui always thought Kyle was a rather affectionate brother. But what surprised him was that even someone colder than ice like Christoph widened his eyes and exclaimed…… and then Taeui understood.

“……Leaving so soon?”

Still, Taeui asked Ilay again, deliberately ignoring the gazes around him, especially Richard’s, which he felt was glued between him and Christoph.

Yes, this was it. This was the reason why he felt uncomfortable around that man.

It seemed Christoph realized he had made a mistake, as he glanced at Richard, but it was too late. Richard was still looking at Christoph with his usual cold expression, but the corners of his mouth lifted slightly.

Taeui suddenly felt the urge to pat Christoph on the shoulder to comfort him, knowing he was about to face some trouble. But doing that would only make things worse, so he decided not to.

“Getting smarter, Taei.”

Ilay chuckled and muttered when he noticed Taeui fidgeting with his hands.

This guy really needs to stop reading other people’s minds!

“Well, I’ve lived with you for too long……” – Taeui muttered bitterly, and just then, Rita arrived with a new teapot and scones, pouring Taeui a cup of tea.

He took a sip of tea and glanced at Christoph, who had been frowning the entire time.

“How’ve you been lately? You look better.”

“And what about you? Despite traveling to such harsh places together, Rick still takes good care of you, huh.”

Christoph spoke vaguely, unclear whether it was a compliment or a jab, while casting a dissatisfied look at Ilay. Ilay just smiled lightly.

“Of course. I take care of him thoroughly, both inside and out, every single day. Seems like Richard has been taking good care of you too. You actually look more human now.”

“――That’s enough.”

Taeui quickly intervened, stopping the conversation. Although these remarks were nothing new, it was best to put an end to it. Christoph immediately turned aggressive, but Richard cut him off with a low voice.

“You must have gone through a lot during those three months in Bolivia. You should rest a bit more before heading out. Arriving in Johannesburg a day or two later wouldn’t make a difference. After all, your target can’t move until the pigeon arrives, and the earliest that bird will take flight from Sudan is tomorrow evening.”

“Aha.” – Ilay murmured before letting out a sneering laugh.

“Fast intel. Thanks for the useful information.”

“Oh, it’s nothing.”

‘It really is convenient to have someone from the intelligence field around’ – Taeui thought to himself. At the same time, he felt relieved knowing that the trip could be delayed by a day or two. Traveling from one end of the Earth to the other had long become a daily routine, but the exhaustion was still very real.

“Johannesburg…… Sudan……” – Christoph mumbled, then suddenly furrowed his brow.

“Is your target this time Alejandro?!”

“Shh.”

Ilay, appearing casual, theatrically signaled for silence. That name—Taeui felt like he had heard it before. Ah, right, it seemed to be connected to the financial backers of an extremist armed group.

“Going to dangerous places like that, go by yourself! Why drag Taei along?!”

“It’s not that dangerous for me. And if I left him behind, people like you would swarm around him like flies. Oh, sorry, but now, even if you wanted to, you can’t.”

Ilay’s pale, delicate hands softly caressed Taeui’s shoulder, sliding up to his neck, and gently cupped Taeui’s cheek. Christoph was about to say something, but fell silent as he watched the gesture.

“Why don’t you just drop dead already.” – Christoph muttered under his breath, drinking his tea in frustration. Richard, watching Christoph’s irritation, merely smiled faintly. He lightly shook his hand, then glanced at his watch and set his teacup down.

“I must be going.”

“Ah, right.”

Kyle nodded politely in farewell, as if he had already known that Richard wouldn’t be staying long. Taeui also greeted him courteously. 

“You’re leaving so soon?”

“I have a meeting in Berlin this afternoon. I just dropped by to see Christoph off as well. It’s been a while since we last met, so it’s been nice.”

It was a formal farewell, and Taeui simply nodded in response.

Ah, so that’s why. No wonder someone as busy as him would have time to come by.

“After the meeting, are you heading straight to Dresden? You should stay for dinner before you leave.”

“Thank you, but I have a lot of work to take care of, so I need to return right away. Besides, I couldn’t sleep until morning, so I’m a bit tired.”

Richard declined Kyle’s offer with a shake of his head, which made Christoph look at him in surprise.

“……? Why couldn’t you sleep? You were clearly sleeping the whole time.”

Richard glanced at Christoph, who seemed not to believe him, but Richard just smiled softly and said nothing more.

“I heard you come to Berlin every weekend. I thought you had less work now, but I guess not.”

“In order to have my weekends free, I have to be even busier during the weekdays.”

As soon as Richard answered Ilay, Jeong Taeui suddenly remembered something he’d heard before. Richard often came to Berlin on weekends to see Christoph, while Christoph only returned to Dresden on the first weekend of every month.

Since Richard was the head of Tarten, to ensure free weekends, he must have been extremely busy during the weekdays. The fact that he had maintained this for years was truly admirable.

As Richard stood up, he accidentally knocked over a teacup. The cup tipped, and the remaining tea inside spilled out.

“Apologies, that was careless of me.”

Richard frowned. Fortunately, most of the tea was already gone, so it only lightly dampened the area around it. This small mistake was unlike him.

Suddenly, Kyle furrowed his brow and asked,

“I noticed you’ve been shaking your hand occasionally. Are you in pain?”

“It’s nothing. Just a bit of numbness in my hand, but it’ll go away soon.”

“Numbness? Why’s that?”

“Ah, last night I was someone’s pillow. I offered my arm as a pillow all night, so now it’s still a bit numb.”

“Your arm as a pillow?…… Are you still sleeping with Oliver?”

Kyle asked again, surprised.

How old is Oliver now, 12 or 13? Kyle was mumbling when he suddenly stopped, noticing the scowl on Christoph’s face beside him.

“Oliver is a brave and independent boy. Since he started school, he’s been sleeping alone.”

After that, no one asked Richard whom he had been a pillow for.

As Christoph’s face turned bright red, then pale, a brief silence fell over the room.

“So, an arm pillow, huh…… I see. It seems your relationship has progressed quite a bit over the years. That’s really good.”

Ilay said with a smile, and Christoph immediately reacted, shooting back in a sharp tone.

“No! It was because I lost a bet, and I had to accept the punishment……!”

“Ah, I see. So, losing the bet means becoming an arm pillow?”

Ilay’s smile deepened. Christoph finally realized he was digging himself into a deeper hole and immediately fell silent.

Christoph frowned even more and glared fiercely at Richard…… So that’s why Christoph seemed so annoyed. Taeui nodded to himself, understanding now.

In any case, losing a bet and having to be an arm pillow…… Why do I suddenly feel embarrassed for him?

……No, this isn’t my business. Taeui pretended not to notice Christoph’s flushed face and waved his hand slightly to ease the awkward atmosphere.

“What kind of bet would lead to something like that?”

Taeui’s innocent question didn’t receive an answer. Instead, Christoph’s face only flushed deeper. Richard was the one who responded.

“It’s nothing. Just a lighthearted game. We were simply testing to see how long he could endure, something like that.”

“Hmm……? That guy, despite appearances, has a lot of stamina. He doesn’t lose easily when it comes to endurance.”

“Even if he’s good at enduring pain, desire is a different story.”

“Ah ha…… Right, if it’s him, he definitely wouldn’t join a bet he knew he’d lose. I bet you lured him into it, didn’t you?”

Richard only smiled at Ilay’s remark. Meanwhile, Christoph’s face grew increasingly darker, and Taeui couldn’t bear to watch anymore, so he stepped in between them.

He didn’t want to know any more about that bet. No, he absolutely didn’t want to know.

“But if it’s a punishment, shouldn’t the loser be the one offering their arm as a pillow? The loser’s arm should be the one that’s numb and sore.”

“If it’s Christoph, things are different. I’ve never heard of him getting over his fear of physical contact, so lying on someone else’s arm, being in their embrace, probably made him shudder.”

Richard nodded in agreement with Ilay’s comment.

“Exactly. It was like hugging a trembling poplar tree. He was shaking uncontrollably in my arms—it-was-truly-delightful.”

“You really are a sadist.”

No, this topic isn’t okay either. This isn’t good at all.

Taeui wanted to change the subject, but it was already too late. Christoph’s face, which had been growing darker and darker, finally exploded as he burst out in anger.

“It wasn’t that unbearable. At least when lying like that, I couldn’t hear the constant noise around me, so that made me feel more at ease. That’s why I could sleep.”

“Right, so you slept until morning with your head on that guy’s arm, in his embrace. But congratulations. I guess your fear of physical contact has improved quite a bit. Hearing you say you didn’t hear the noise in his arms must mean your mental health has improved too. Or perhaps, in some ways, it’s gotten worse. Either way, congratulations. Your relationship has reached a point where you can now sleep together with an arm pillow after being conquered by desire. How wonderful.”

“――!”

Christoph glared at Ilay, realizing he’d dug himself into another hole, and then his eyes accidentally met Taeui’s. For a brief moment, Taeui thought he saw a flash of embarrassment in Christoph’s gaze, but then Christoph quickly glanced over at Richard, clicked his tongue, and looked away.

“Christoph.”

Richard called out to him. Hearing that low voice, Christoph froze. Richard leaned in toward Christoph and whispered something into his ear.

“Are you still feeling regret?” – Richard whispered, his gaze seemingly piercing through Christoph. Richard’s lips barely moved, but Christoph shuddered slightly at the soft words.

At that moment, a memory from the past suddenly resurfaced in Taeui’s mind. That time, just because Christoph seemed to like Taeui a little, Richard had treated him in a certain way――.

“It’s really nice to see you again after such a long time, Christoph. Yes, it’s only natural to be happy after not seeing each other for years. We barely kept in touch, and it’s been a few years since we last met, right? Even though it was just a brief encounter…… Well, until next time then.”

Taeui hastily said to Christoph, gently patting him on the shoulder. But when he noticed Richard’s gaze flicker toward his hand, Taeui quickly withdrew it.

No. He didn’t want to see them again, ever. He also didn’t want to get involved in their relationship, much less witness another awkward situation between them, even once more.

It seemed Taeui’s words had the desired effect, as Richard simply glanced at him before slowly pulling away from Christoph.

At that moment,

“――I don’t feel any regret.”

Christoph said.

“I’m just a little happy because it’s been a while since we last met. So……”

Christoph looked up at Richard with a sharp, cold gaze, his voice icy and distant.

“The way you always doubt and scrutinize me like this――it’s really annoying.”

“――.”

Richard stared at Christoph with an unreadable expression, then shook his head.

“I don’t doubt you.”

“You did.”

“No, I wasn’t doubting you.”

For the first time, Richard’s voice wavered slightly. He seemed a bit unsettled. It may have only been for a brief moment, but that’s what Taeui sensed.

“Yes, you did. That’s why yesterday you said, ‘I heard he’s coming to Berlin, so you must be eager to go back and meet him right away,’ and you forced me to explain, all while staring at me like you are now. Even though I told you that wasn’t the case……”

As if all the emotions bottled up since last night had exploded, Christoph angrily let everything out.

Just as Richard was about to leave, no one else in the room said anything besides them. Ilay watched indifferently, without blinking, as if he saw the entire situation as some sort of entertainment. Taeui also stood quietly on the sidelines, not interfering. He knew that if he stepped in, it wouldn’t help and might even make things worse.

Ilay’s eyes subtly smiled at Taeui, as if to say, “You’ve gotten smarter.” This made Jeong Taeui slightly uncomfortable, but he pretended not to notice.

At that moment,

“Christoph.”

Richard stared intently at Christoph, as if frozen in place, before finally speaking.

“I wasn’t doubting you. I was simply making up an excuse to get what I wanted. To you, it was a punishment, but to me, it was the opposite.”

“――.”

“You think I slept when you did? No, I didn’t close my eyes for a second.”

Even when Christoph, who had been trembling like a poplar tree, finally fell silent in Richard’s arms, Richard stayed awake the entire night, allowing Christoph to rest on his arm until morning.

“I wasn’t doubting you. I was terrified that the one thing I have—the one thing I can’t afford to lose—might vanish like a bubble. Even when you were in my arms, I was so greedy, so desperate for you that…… even if it killed me, I couldn’t stop worrying. I’ve grown tired of this insatiable desire, but I can’t control it.”

“――,――Why are you……”

Christoph looked at Richard with wide, accusatory eyes, but his expression suddenly softened. His lips moved as if to say something, but then fell silent.

In the brief pause, Richard’s gaze remained as intense and ravenous as if he wanted to devour Christoph. Christoph stood there, feeling the weight of that gaze pressing down on him.

What felt like an eternity finally ended when……

“Hey…… you two.”

Kyle, who had been standing nearby with his arms crossed, finally spoke up. He rubbed his forehead, where deep furrows had formed, and looked at his watch before saying,

“Sorry to interrupt, but Richard, you’re about to be late for your meeting. I also need to rush off to the office. James has been nagging me about the pile of work stacking up. If I cut back any more, he’ll go crazy and eat me alive. Christoph, I’m giving you the week off. Go to Dresden. You two can finish your conversation there.”

“I wonder if they’ll ever finish that conversation……” – Kyle murmured softly, then turned to look at Richard.

“After your meeting, could you drop by and take him home? Or……”

Richard silently stared at Kyle for a moment, then nodded and briefly said: “Thanks”, before immediately grabbing Christoph by the wrist and swiftly heading outside. Christoph seemed momentarily confused but then pressed his lips together and quietly followed, as if preparing to enter some sort of battlefield.

At that moment, as Taeui watched them leave so abruptly, he thought: ‘Oh…… I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye……’, but before he knew it, he could already hear the sound of the car driving away outside.

And then, silence.

“He won’t be able to sleep tonight either.”

Ilay muttered indifferently after the ‘performance’ had ended, while Taeui stared at him. “What?” Ilay asked when their eyes met. Taeui slowly shook his head: “Nothing”, and gave a faint smile.

“Just noticing that nothing’s changed. After all these years, everything’s still the same.”

Everything was as it had always been. This place. These people. Just like themselves.

It was both amusing and oddly comforting. Time flowing in this way felt…… easy.

Meanwhile, Kyle finally staggered over to the sofa and collapsed onto it as if completely drained.

“I’ll never get used to this…… How do they……”

He shook his head and mumbled to himself with a heavy sigh.

Maybe he was shocked by the overly transparent personal lives of the cousins he had known and cherished since they were little.

“As long as they’re doing well, that’s all that matters.”

Taeui consoled him, and Kyle nodded but sighed again.

“Yeah, you’re right. But even seeing it up close, it’s hard to imagine.”

“…………”

No, it’s because you haven’t really seen it up close. If you actually saw it with your own eyes, you wouldn’t want to imagine anything at all.